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Aha. It seems I need to read more Mary Oliver.

While I dislike her pacing, enjambments, with there being something too slow and stagnant, if there's anything I can say, it is this: if you love her, then, well done, because you are imitating her perfectly. Your voices are similar, as a result.

light strikes you

Great stanza opener.

and you are no longer
a woman, the shape
of your body like
a cliff of colors
crushed and liquefied,
music snared
in your limbs.

The first lines here signal something poignant (point of twisting, as you've heard me refer to it) to come at the end -- that foreshadowing is good, and, likewise, the ending. Just removing that 'crushed and liquefied' would perfect that end. You talk of bones, shapes like cliffs, music snared in limbs -- very solid, stable things -- and so that line is off.

Also? Using art as inspiration was a good idea! You never run out.

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they are four pale sparrows
gathered all at once,
blooming at the waists, fingers
lacing and raveling about their ankles,
feet slipped into fabric the way muscle
melds to bone, hollow and unpeeled.
their own bodies arch for movement,
with little wings fastened
in the arc of pirouette, dive of arabesque,
sigh of plié—
limbs fluted and flaring in flight,
they ache with the curve
of clefs and notes,
a commotion of silks and ribbons
breaking open and upon themselves,
riotous,
bodies knotting with tutus
into separate creatures.

Lovely; you don't know how much I adore sparrows. Maybe some more breaks, especially towards the beginning? You could probably also incorporate a stronger ending, but this is excellent all the same-- love the language.

the way muscle
melds to bone, hollow and unpeeled.
their own bodies arch for movement

Mmm...hypnotic. Try 'melts.' Fuses? Crushes? Clips? Slips? Not sure, but I know what you're trying to convey. Also -- 'for movement' needs to go: you already have 'arch' and we understand that is a movement.

sigh of plié

Good.

limbs fluted and flaring in flight

Dammit, I like both, but not together. 'Limbs fluted' is great. 'Flaring in flight' -- likewise, fantastic image. But together, they try to outcompete.

they ache with the curve
of clefs and notes,
a commotion of silks and ribbons

Try just the one or the other, instead of the hendiadys. 'Clefs' or 'notes' -- go with clefs, since 'they ache with the curve of clefs' tastes better. Likewise, 'commotion of silks' is great...minus the ribbons. Your personifications are getting excellent.

bodies knotting with tutus
into separate creatures.

'Bodies knotting'...yes. I wish it were not necessary to follow that by tutus! To pack the punch of the ending in one line, rather than diffuse it over two, let's see...you have: knotting, and separation -- opposites. Reconcile them, maybe? Choose one as the focal/pivotal point?

Also, I love birds. And dancing.

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Yes. #5 was good.