Heartless

Hope you like it.

Spoiler

I’ve lied to myself.
We all do.
We all pretend nothing huts.
We let every slur pass us by.
Our heart pangs; our soul cracks.
But we don’t care,
and we never will.
We have created a lie;
society’s greatest lie.

Implanted in each newborn’s brain,
it programs their mind until
they become monsters.
Eaters of the soul.
They will never understand
the crimes they will commit.
It will seem normal.
Just like now.

None will notice the darkness.
None will notice the hate.
All will just continue life,
living with the same sickness;
the same disease.

We are --
Heartless,

Heya Unleashed, Gsp here! I'll be your reviewer for today.

First of all, though, please don't blame me if I mercilessly tear your poor poem apart. I like nitpicking.

With that said, onward to the review.

I’ve lied to myself.
We all do.
We all pretend nothing huts.
We let every slur pass us by.
Our heart pangs; our soul cracks.
But we don’t care,
and we never will.
We have created a lie;
society’s greatest lie.

This is a great stanza, but the sentences are too short. Change a few of those periods into commas, and it'll flow a lot better.

Implanted in each newborn’s brain,
it programs their mind until
they become monsters.
Eaters of the soul.
They will never understand
the crimes they will commit.
It will seem normal.
Just like now.

I like this stanza quite a bit; not much to say here other than again, lengthen those sentences a bit.

None will notice the darkness.
None will notice the hate.
All will just continue life,
living with the same sickness;
the same disease.

We are --
Heartless,

Lovely ending. I think you should turn the comma at the end of the last word into a period, though. Not only is it not proper grammar at the moment but without the period it doesn't make it seem final and over like it should.

That's pretty much everything I have to say. Good poem, and keep on writing.

~Gsp.

I see several grammatical errors in this poem as well as some places where the flow could be better.

First:

I’ve lied to myself.
We all do.
We all pretend nothing huts.
We let every slur pass us by. [
Our heart pangs; our soul cracks.
But we don’t care,
and we never will.
We have created a lie;
society’s greatest lie.

Huts should be hurts. The second thing marked is a bit weird and confusing to the average reader. Try to tighten that up. Make it clearer. This stanza was a good opener overall, but the language to me was a bit juvenile. I'm not saying that it is bad, but to be great the structure of it should be more complex.

Next:

Implanted in each newborn’s brain,
it programs their mind until
they become monsters.
Eaters of the soul.
They will never understand
the crimes they will commit.
It will seem normal.
Just like now.

This stanza starts with an idea that is vague at best. What is society's greatest lie? I assume it's the fact that we become numb to everything, but I don't find that out until later in the poem. In this stanza you must explain what our greatest lie is. It's good that you give solid imagery, what is what we become, and what we do as a result, but what I need to know is that caused it. The biggest lie does not give much detail.

Tercero:

None will notice the darkness.
None will notice the hate.
All will just continue life,
living with the same sickness;
the same disease.

I think this stanza is a bit weak because it does not convey the true magnitude of what your message is, that we are heartless, that we have become automatons, and care not about what others do or say. This stanza tries to show the impact it will have, weakly I will say. I would suggest that you add more detail about the impact, perhaps what the world will become as a result. Show why I should care.

Finalmente:

We are --
Heartless,

The is good. Just change the comma to a period.

Overall I would say this poem is okay, but not great. You do a good job of showing what has happened to society, but are vague on why or how it matters. I understand you say that we created a lie in the first stanza, but what is the lie, why is it important, and most importantly why should I care. I felt as though the emotions of the poem were lacking as well. So, in closing, I would say add more emotion to each stanza and do what I suggested in each part of the critique and you will have a great poem.