Guardian Angel

Spoiler

Poem for the Collab Contest. Written by myself, Mickixoxo, and my partner in crime, Addylicious, Adoxagraphy Angelus. We hope you enjoy our.... slightly depressing.... poem! Critiques would be greatly appreciated! Thank you

Shattered glass and broken hearts,
Your whispered words are torn apart.
A peaceful land we wish to seek,
From dreary lives so dark and meek.

Ready yourself for the blow,
This constant violence; all you know.
Your wishes scream from deep inside,
To stop the pain and run and hide.

Cries of longing; Cries of pain,
You try to hide your self disdain.
You take my hand and run so fast
And try to hide from your past

Winding down a long, twisted path,
We walk hand in hand, to freedom, at last.
A smile, a squeeze, a heart filled with love,
A guardian angel, we know, up above.

...Is our poem really that bad that no ones reviewing? ;P

I don't get it, Addy! There are three likes not including yours (pshhh I see how it is, like your own thing, you weirdo ;P) and NO reviews! Waaa, it's sad, really.

Hi guys! I really liked this poem it flowed really well and the rythme in it was really good. (Edits in red) The only thing that picked at me a bit was:
Cries of longing; Cries of pain,
You try to hide your self disdain.
You take my hand and run so fast
Trying to hide from your past This part sounds like path which is a word used below, the two words sound very alike so it makes you kind of stumble over the words. Maybe add some thing else there instead of past or vice versa and change the word path.
Winding down a long, twisted path,
We walk hand in hand, to freedom, at last.
A smile, a squeeze, a heart filled with love,
A guardian angel, we know, up above.

Sorry for the rushed review I felt sorry for you guys because there where no real reviews So thanks for posting, I really enjoyed this piece! I hope you win the contest
Peace,
Snickerdooly

Ahhh! I love this poem! The rhyme scheme is great. Did I mention that I'm a sucker for rhyming poetry? And I thought that it flowed beautifully. Great work, girls! And good luck in the contest