Broken

Broken
By: Colleen Tucker
Would you still want me if you knew who I really am?
If you knew just how broken my heart is would you stick by me?
I want you to know that I’m broken,
broken beyond repair,
but I’m scared of losing you,
‘cause no one wants a girl that isn’t whole.
no one wants damaged goods,
If you knew how many tears I shed each night would you still want me?
Or would you turn and run away?
I’m afraid of showing you the real me,
afraid that you won’t like her,
she’s not whole,
her heart is broken,
her soul is shattered,
and her tears run in rivers down the remnants of her soul,
she doesn’t cry out for help,
she doesn’t make a sound when her soul rips apart,
but she’s willing to show herself to you,
she’s willing to show you a side of herself that she’s never shown anyone,
the only thing standing in her way is fear,
after all the pain she’s endured she can’t take anymore,
and if she shows you what she’s really like she knows you’ll run away from her,
If you’ll take the first step I’ll show you who I really am,
I’ll show you that girl that hides beneath my surface,
but if you run away she’ll never be able to face the world again,
if you run away from her she’ll be shattered completely,
All I ask is that you don’t run away,
that you stay by me even though I’m no longer whole,
all I ask is that you don’t destroy me.

I <3 your emotion.
Mainly because I can feel everything you're saying,
and I can relate.
So,
thanks for another awesome read.

Such a sad poem but I like it. every verse makes sense.

Okay, I really liked this poem.
You described the emotions perfectly.
Although I would suggest that you clean up the structuring a bit. It's easier to read small stanzas than a whole chunck of verse. So I would suggest that maybe you clean up the structuring a bit.
But other than that, good job!

This is really good, maybe you could split it into stanzas so it'll look more of a poem. I liked all the emotion you included and you wrote it perfectly. The only thing I can complain about is the beginning of a verse you need to use a capital letter, whatever the word is.
Anyway, well done and keep on writing.

Wow. Amazing. I could feel the emotion, everything the girl was feeling. Most of all, i really can relate to this poem. It's just beautiful.

Hi there

It's a really sad poem, quite heartbreaking, really. So it is very well done.


However I think your flow and structure needs some work.

It is very dense, and lacks spacing and a strong structure. I think this would benifit from spacing it out

Besides that, very good.

Wow this is a great poem! I love the way it is sad and heart wrenching, I can relate to this poem in almost every sense and judging from the comments a lot of other people felt the same way. Amazing job and I hope if this applies to you, then I hope you heal better, if you ever want to talk just p.m me

This made me cry; I actually understand completely what you are saying. You put a lot of emotion into this and it makes me very happy to read it; it inspires me greatly!!! Things will get better and when the time comes there will be someone who will take you; even if you're broken. Good luck and keep up writing!!!!
Soulkana<3