the ghost, the flesh, the pillor
-what is this?- asked the dark figure, trapped among the endless white. -this are... my hands...- he looked down, -so... this is... me...- he noded nervously as he rose his gaze and saw the mirror infront of him. the light was gone, all that remained was a room, a tattered room, raped by time and cracked by the many memories it held. he looked at the mirror, his eyes widened, his heart raced. -no... no... NO!!!!!!- his hand turned into a fist, his fist racing, flying through the air, in the direction of his own reflection. the mirror shattered. his hand, covered in blood did not ache, it wasn't his. -my... hand- a nervous smile was carved on his face -it... it is not mine- eyes full of rage and deception created a river, a river of outworldly tears. he lifeted his hand -i... can't feel it, i... can't feel, anything" his eyes rolled furiously. he knew he wasnt... he -what am i?, is there anybody in there?, please HELP!!!, no, no, no, not again- the air filled with the stench of blood and sweat, his heart racing almost to its limit. his breath increased in latency, his chest pulled and pushed the currents of nothing - no... it is not me, i can't be me... no what am i, i can't be me, what am i? i cant be me...." he repeated as a lethany -no no no NO- he looked at his face in the pieces of shattered mercury and cried in dispai0r, after all, he saw his figure -the flesh- he said -it's all the flesh- he began losing control -im but a ghost... in the arms of nihil, im but a ghost... swiming in ether- he pulled his arms closer and huged himself, as if it would protect him from the aberrant staue he was. -i... I... I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- he clenched his fist and and heard a crack, his fingers where broken, but he couldn't feel a thing. he closed his eyes -the pain- he mumbled, staring at the endless darkness inside his mind -it's not there, why?- he began to lose control again, he felt like a doll, like a toy, like a puppet of some invicible puppetier. -i... can't, i... can't- he repeated to himself as a soothing mantra. he punched the wall. a loud crack was heard, his bones where shattering "WHY IS IT NO PAIN THERE?!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed as the lamp on the top of the room flahsed. the light died. all was covered in awfull darkness, a darkness to conceal his hideous self from the ghost inside him. -the pillor... i can't bear it...- he started to cry. -no... it's too late, i cant breath, my mind's spinning, what am i?- he tried to sooth his soul, but he found no comfort -the vaccum, the pillor, the pain in the flesh- he couldn't shake it, he was losing it, losing if definitely. -no... i cant do this- a hideous smile was carved in his face -why can't i feel...- he tried to see the roof, even if in the darkness of his room. -the same ceiling... always, a rooftop of monotonous stars... death itself looking onto me- he looked around and felt the warm touch of his own scarlet stream. he tried to lift himself, it was too late -he kneeled, pushing shards of piercing glass in to his knees, yet he felt nothing. -no...- he said in a calm voice. -not again...- his heart pumped even more crimson and the rush became stronger -it can't be me... what am i? IT CAN'T BE ME... WHAT AM I?!!!!!!!!- he screamed in total darkness trying to find a meaning to all of this, it wasn't him who was suffering, it was the flesh he was trapped in. his mind began to saunter through the valleys of delusion, his eyes widened by excitement. all he knew passed in an instant. -my family, my self, my body, my role... all lies, lied to her, lied to him lied to me... all is but a lie, a dream, a fever...- he came to realize. he took a shard of glass and clutched it with great force, his hands bleeding, his heart racing, it wouldn't last long... -i want to leave... i want to live... I WANT TO LEAVE... I WANT TO LIVE- he cut down his wrist letting even more scarlet out of his veins, the warmth was comfortable. he nervously smiled to the heavens, and he closed his eyes and he dreamed of kings, of realms and angels and he lived... inside that world... -life... is but a state of mind- he whispered, before drifting into oblivion...
a loud, steady beep was heard. -experiment concluded- a warm, glum voice pierced the silence found in that steady note. -what is the state of the subject?- his low voice, a contrast against the serenity the beep. -dead... the first one in, the last one out- -this boys... i cant believe they just keep dying- he replied -they are not able to cope with it...- she stated -it seemed so easy, to know god, to know one's self... why...- he asked in a curious manner -the heightened reality- she said -they just become crazy... the ideas of vaccum, of emptyness, they suffer from them for no reason and then in the reality of their minds, they kill themseves, to escape the weight of knowledge- she stated firmly with a tone of gloom -any recordings?- she pressed the play button. -no... NOOOO!!!!!- an almost gutural growl, from the insides of a broken mind -the flesh!!! i must rip it off!!! yesssss, that will make me free, i must... i must... i must...- the sound of a gunshot stoped the mantra. she pushed the stop button -all within the realm of their heads...- he looked down -prepare another subject...-
she walked down a white hallway, all so flawless. she entered to the first door at her right -again...- she mumbled as she opened the door with the sign "area 23, sector delta, sub sector c- a robotic, perfect voice greeted her -good morning prefesor aublin- she entered the room, a low hissing sound was made as the door closed -good morning ego- the machine proyected a light tablet infront of her -the new data suggests an increase of 3% in the compatibility of the subjects- -that leaves us with 4% chance of succes- she partially sighed. -yes, maybe if we changed some enzime traits- advised ego. -no, remember the last one? the mutations where out of control- she coldly replied. -machines, can't fail twice on the same subject professor- she partialy smiled. she continued to the medical bay, where a vat full of specimens was visible, she chose one and the body was dragged to the outside. a team of medics gathered around the pod where the body was, several cables attached to its limbs and several more attatched to its head. -begin the deum verum process- she coldly said as the medics prepared the instruments. -v2 serum harmony levels at 45% begining apotheiosis- a masked doctor said, while franticly typing on a nearby machine -69%, 73% 99%... apotheiosis complete- the liquid inside the chamber was absorbed by the motionless body. a soft smile grew on professor aublin. -begin vivification process- the medics swirled and turned as they connected a hose to an opening on the outer rim of the pod. -L.T. gel flowing at 56% viscocity- -start cor creation process and defribillate- the blue gel flowed into the pod, flooding its insides. the gel was electricaly charged by spark plugs on the borders. -1, 2, hit- the medics counted as they tried to create life. the sparks stoped, the gel was drained and he, opened his eyes.
