The Mourning Bow

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I wasn't sure where to post this, so I'm posting it here. I found out yesterday that someone really important to me was killed in a house fire. I wrote this for her. I'm not sure how good it is, but it comes from the heart.

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It's hard to believe,
That somone so special,
Can leave you so suddenly,
She seemed so fragile,
But she was our rock

The flames claimed her life,
Angels carried her to the home above,
She will no longer bear any worldly strife,
But our hearts are aching still full of love,
This loss is almost unbearable

She will be missed,
Of that I'm certain,
Our faith is being put to the test,
This grief is like a heavy curtain,
Smothering our happiness and strength

A rainbow that mourns,
Is lighted with its violet ray,
Though for now with this pain we are adorned,
We will make it through this day,
The beautiful rays of her life will lead us on

Rest in peace Mom Shirley,
We will always love you!
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow




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Hi, Sakin here. For one, this made me cry, just getting that out there. This is sad, but it shows your emotions about what happened to your friend. I think it's sweet that you would write this and that you feel that way about your friend. She's in a better place now, and you've shown that you understand that. I'm so sorry about your friend, but you are an amazing writer. Keep it up, and remember, she'll always be watching you from heaven.

~Forsakinshadow~
Hakuna Matata <3
RIP to all my friends who didn’t make it.

Hop freight or get lost.




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Hi there. Lavvi in to review.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The poem is quite touching. I love how it flows, the rhythm is rather almost perfect. Your words are great for the type of poem, articulate, but not entirely confusing.

The rainbow metaphor that you used was, frankly, quite lovely. And the way you changed it to the rays of her life was glorious. Really, really nice.

I don't want to slam this, really, because it's much like an ode to someone's life cut short.

Best wishes,

Lavvi
this tender selfmetamorpoiesisi have returned with the swell

What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl




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Points 1141
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Thanks you guys, I really appreciate the reviews and kind words.
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. ~E.L. Doctorow



if ya mention chickens, i have to show up, that is the law.
— alliyah