The Craving for Books

Fingers twitch
Sharp breath in
Must stay calm
Keep it in.

Breathing slows
Eyes wander
Mind strayes
Start to ponder.

What happes next?
Gotta peek
Want to see:
Will they meet?

Head turns
Cringing slightly
Gotta stay
Strong and mightey

Seconds pass
Nothing...
Craving stops?
If only...

Pressure builds
Muscles tense
Start fo fidget
It's so imense!

Untill no longer
Can hold it in
Reaches out
As head startes to spin

Pages ruffle
Eyes skim
Oh, no!
It can't be him

Then becoming aware
By my weakness
I sod it all
For the lust of completeness

I like this poem. it describes what I go through basically every day, really. And I think that maybe you had either you had deep experience or something in this series of events or you just happened to come upon the idea while skimming a book. Either way good, good, good is all I have to say. And also, the thing most of us YWSers say, keep writing.

Hello there. I am Ehte, here for the review. Firstly to say, i did not quite like this poem of yours. It lacks rhythm. It has no flow and many grammatical mistakes are there. The title and the poem have no connection at all and some of the lines are totally unnecessary. And you use a lot of period. Only one period(.) is enough after completion of a line.

Fingers twitch
Sharp breath in sharp breath? Try something else in the place of sharp
Must stay calm
Keep it in.

Breathing slows
Eyes wander
Mind strayes Mind strays
Start to ponder. Starts to ponder.

What happes next? What happens next?
Gotta peek Got to peek.
Want to see:
Will they meet?

Head turns
Cringing slightly
Gotta stay Got to stay.
Strong and mightey Strong and mighty.

Seconds pass
Nothing...
Craving stops?
If only... I have no idea what are you trying to tell about in this stanza of yours.

Pressure builds
Muscles tense
Start fo fidget Starts to fidget.
It's so imense! It's so immense.

Untill no longer Until no longer.
Can hold it in
Reaches out
As head startes to spin As head starts to spin.

Pages ruffle
Eyes skim
Oh, no!
It can't be him Him? I thought this was about a book?

Then becoming aware
By my weakness Of my weakness/About my weakness
I sod it all
For the lust of completeness

Keep writing is all i can say.

Fingers twitch
Sharp breath in
Must stay calm
Keep it in.

Breathing slows
Eyes wander
Mind strays
Start to ponder.

What happens next?
Got to peek
Want to see:
Will they meet?

Head turns
Cringing slightly
Got to stay
Strong and mighty

Seconds pass
Nothing...
Craving stops?
If only... Er...what is this stanza?

Pressure builds
Muscles tense
Start to fidget
So imense! Forget the "it's" - better for the rhythm

I can no longer
Hold it in
Reaching out
My head spins

Pages ruffle
Eyes skim
Oh, no!
It can't be him

Then becoming aware
By my weakness
I sod it all
For the lust of completenessThis whole stanza is really out of rhythm.

I just did some basic spell check.
Now, onto the actual poem.

I'll be honest: it started off really nicely - good rhyme, good rhythm, short, snappy. Towards the end it seems you can't keep it up, you can't think of new rhymes or even short words. Take a look at the first half, then the second half. They're so different. Keep - the - rhythm - the - same. It'll make it much more poignant.

Anyway, let's see what you can come up with. This has potential. Use it!

Keep writing!

Thanks lele253isme, I guess I just came up with it whilst daydreaming . Thanks for the coments guys, and i agree, I did kind of run out of my ideas as i neared the end (I admit). But i guess i liked the idea of writing about books thanks for the corrections and advise

I go through this everyday - so I can relate completely.
Well-written.

hahaha.....this is cool man! You're witty (you know how hard it is to be one when it comes to writing poems;)).

Hi there. Lavvi in to review.

I think perhaps a lot of of readers can relate to this I myself am sneaky like this, and perhaps it's my biggest downfall with relation to books. But whatever.

I think it was nice how you used simple, mostly one to two-word lines. It made the reading simpler, more straightforward. Because a craving isn't quite complicated, it was a great representation. But, the fifth stanza seems slightly unfinished. It kind of blocks this rising sense of eagerness that you've now created for the reader. Personally, I find it a little useless in the poem.

Yours,
Lavvi

thanks. I guess you may be right there Lavvi . . . never thought about it, good call haha

I really do believe you have captured what I go through every day xD
The language is beautiful, however, I found myself wishing for something more when I was reading it...I don't know why. Maybe that was the point of the poem?
Anyways, I think that the poem could have benefitted from the use of commas and periods and such. I understand there are some poems where you don't want any grammar, but I think it would add a certain beat to this.
Job well done, happy writing (: