Two
Some things should be left unsaid
I walked up to the mirror, puckering my lips at the reflection and applied my pink shimmer lip gloss. Singing along to the music playing from my iPod I fixed my ringlet curls, pushing them in front of my shoulders so they would fall just above my bust line.
I sang the next line of the Justin Moore song out loud, “I can kick your ass; I can jack your jaw!!” When I looked back at the mirror I saw Jaye standing there staring at me blankly. “What?” I asked half laughing.
“You do realize it’s pointless to make that threat right? Cause I can drop kick you where you stand. “She said with a smirk on her face.
I let out a fake laugh, “Very funny. You still never told me how you learned to fight so well.” I said pulling up down my tight fitted dress over my body.
I waited for her to answer me as I set my lip gloss back in the make-up bag. When I looked up at her I saw that rare expression on her face, like she had been caught red handed. I watch as she immediately shut herself down, this always happened when she tried to keep something from me. She would refuse to talk about it.
It has been like this since last summer, when she went away for a very long time. No emails, texts, or phone calls. It was the worst summer I ever had. Ever since then she has been different, changed in many ways. But she still never fails to be the Jaye I’ve always known. She is still my best friend. It just still irritates me that she keeps these secrets.
“Whatever. Don’t tell me. Just like you always do.” I grumbled and stalked out the bathroom door, throwing my make up bag into my suit case and zipping it shut.
“Please don’t be angry with me Anna.” She said sympathetically in a soft whisper.
My back was turned to her as I shook my head. Sometimes I just didn’t get her. I grabbed my hoodie and walked past her to the door. “Best friends tell each other everything Jaye. I suggest you pack and come find me when you’re ready to talk.” I told her, with the slightest bit of edge in my voice.
I closed the door behind me, and walked down the long narrow hallway of the hotel. Passing by doors I heard people yelling and arguing which only made me walk faster. I had a chance to squeeze into an elevator but I just tell the young man that I’ll take the stairs.
I pushed open the door quickly, moving my feet as fast as I can down the steps. Slipping on the hoodie I pushed the exit door open. I smelt the rain in the air as I am sheltered by the roof above me. Pulling the hood over my curled hair I walked down the path in my four inch heels, listening to the sounds they make on the wet pavement. I wrapped my arms around my waist and searched for a place where I could sit for a while and think about things.
I tried to ignore the noises of the cars and the voices of the people around me. I took in another breath of the moist air, keeping my head down so none of the rain drops would get on my face.
“Sorry.” Someone said as they bump into me.
I fake a smile at them and continued walking down the pavement. To my right I saw a small coffee shop. Smiling I walked towards it and pull on the handle. A cold breeze swirled around me as I heard the grinding of coffee beans.
I reached up and slid the hood off of my curled hair and wrapped my arms around my waist. Walking over to the back of the line I rubbed my hands together trying to seek warmth. I looked around self consciously to see if anybody is watching me but they were are all minding their own business. So I took out some of the cash I stashed in my bra for tonight, just in case something went wrong I could take a cab before things got bad.
A few minutes passed by and I finally got to the cash register.
“Hello miss what can I do for you today?” The short girl with brown eyes and blonde hair asks me.
“Hi, can I get a black cup of coffee please.” I answered her with a polite smile.
“Ok that’ll be $3.50 please.” She said sighing as she hits the screen on the cash register and the receipt prints out. I handed her five dollars and watch as she counts the change out for me, but I just placed it in the tip jar.
Her face lights up and I just smile at her and walk away, my heels clicking on the white tile. Sticking my hands back in the pocket of my jacket I waited for my cup of coffee to be made. A few minutes later another young girl places it on the counter and slides a straw next to it.
“Thank you.” I tell her politely as I grasped the warm cup into my hands.
I see a table next to the window and I make my way over to it. Scooting the chair out ever so slightly, so it won’t make noise, I take a seat. I smiled as I put the cup of coffee up to my noise and smelt the scent of the coffee beans. I took a sip and stared out the window watching the rain splatter against the glass. At this point I’m wondering if Jaye will ever come and find me, or if she will just keep her secrets bottled up inside her. I wanted so bad to hear them but I feared I won’t like it after I do.
Just something about this particular subject gives me a funny feeling in my stomach. Not the gut wrenching feeling you get when you’re waiting in line to ride a roller coaster, but the kind that you feel when you’re waiting in a regular hospital to hear if someone won’t make it past the night. But I blamed that on watching too many horror films and police investigation shows. Jaye was well-- she was Jaye and nothing could change that. Or nothing should change that.
I let out a sigh and took another sip of my coffee. I figured it might take a while for her to build up the courage to come talk to me. I have never walked out on her like this before; we normally just dropped the matter. But I was done with it and I wanted answers. And if I didn’t get them, then I don’t know what I would do. One thing’s for sure; it would be a long silent plane ride back home.
I tapped my fingers on the table and looked around the small coffee shop, looking for something to distract me. A man in the front of the shop catched my interest. I can’t see his face because he is reading a newspaper, but there was just something about him. I looked over him. Dark faded jeans with a white button up shirt, he had rolled up the sleeves on them. His arm build was muscular from what I could see.
I was guessing that he was tall because even when he sat the top of his knee’s touched the table and he looked uncomfortable. My foot began to tap again as I looked for more specific things about this man. I ran my index finger across my bottom lip as my eyes found a ring on his finger. It wasn’t small like a wedding ring it was actually quite large. My eyes strained to see what the symbol or pattern on it was.
I wondered if it was a family crest, or if it had a resemblance to some club or pact he was in. I was dying to inch closer just so I could see what it was. I stifled a laugh as I thought to myself, “I’m getting quite obsessive over this young man and I don’t even know his name.” Biting my lip I started to wonder if he was a vampire, and the ring let him walk in the sun like Stefan & Damon Salvatore. Giggling told myself to stop being obsessive.
I took another sip of my coffee and drug my eyes away from the mysterious man. But for some strange reason my eyes wanted to make their way back over to his black cowboy boots that were covered by his jeans. I shook my head mentally kicking myself for these strange feelings washing over me. Then something hit me. I have this similar feeling when I’m next to Jaye, as if I can’t stand not to be next to her or admire her beauty that I do not have.
I shook the feeling off and focused my eyes to the world outside these coffee shop windows. I saw people struggling to get out of the rain clutching the umbrella’s tightly in their hands. I didn’t understand why people scattered when rain drops start to fall because personally I loved it. If I wasn’t dressed so nicely and planning to go to dinner then I would walk out of this little shop and stand in the rain and let it fall on me.
I smiled at the thought of doing it until I heard the bell above the entrance of the coffee shop dinged. My eyes made their way over to the young girl in blue lace dressed covered in sparkles with silver heels that buckled just above her ankle. I watched as she fidgeted with the clutch in her left hand. Slowly she pulled the hoodie off her head and her eyes scanned the crowd. The mysterious man at the front of the shop flips the page of his news paper, and when he does I notice that the girl in the door way is Jaye.
When her eyes met mine a flicker of relief washed over her as a smile spread across her face. I stared blankly at her, showing no emotion as I put on my mask. It was the only way for me to stay strong and know that I would get the answers out of her at some point. I took in a deep breath as her heels clicked against the tile as she made her way over to me. My eyes flicker away from hers and to my coffee cup. I pick it up and take a sip as the legs of the chair scratch against the floor. My eyes don’t meet hers again until she took a seat in front of me.
She spoke as soon as her butt hit the seat cushion, “Anna, please.”
I looked up at her, my eyes blank as I make my lips go into a straight line. I continued to stare at her.
She just continued, “I called your phone ten times and left you four messages. I’ve been looking all over for you. You can’t just walk out on me like that.” Her voice was coated in stress as her worry filled eyes pierced into mine.
A grumble rose in the back of my throat. “Yes I can. You don’t own me Jaye. You are not my mother so stop trying to act like it.” I said with a little bit of edge only to get my point across.
Her head kind of jerked back as she stared at me with a curious expression. I felt sympathy fill my eyes as I bit down into my lip making a small puncture with my canine tooth. She let out a quiet sigh and averted her gaze to the civilians scurrying outside in the rain.
“You have no idea what I have put myself through to protect you. I made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone hurt you before going through me.” She said as I felt a strong wave of concern coming from her.
I shook my head knowing I have heard this speech many times before but it had gone nowhere. Every time she brings this up and I try to ask questions she just ignores me and continues on, but this time is different. So now it was time to finally get what I have been searching for this past year.
“What do you need to protect me from Jaye? There is nothing but the world and the people in it. You can’t save me from any freak accident that might happen. Ever since you were gone last summer you’ve changed.” I stopped taking in a breath and letting these words really sink in to her brain.
Shortly after I continued but this time with a more stern tone. “You analyze everything around you, like you are doing now. Almost like you’re searching for a possible threat. You keep so many secrets from me and I feel like we are growing farther apart. Even after almost a year you still won’t tell me where you went last summer. Or why you got that tattoo above your bikini line that says Custos Amicus with a strange symbol around it. Can you explain that?”
I watched her with anxious eyes, wondering if I had actually gotten through to her this time. Other discussions like these have resulted in her walking out of the room or me, or just dropping the subject because too much tension had built up between us. I stared into her eyes waiting for the response I’ve been waiting to hear. I restrained myself from tapping my nails against the wooden surface of the table, and instead I slid myself to the edge of the seat.
A few minutes later words started to escape her pink lip gloss covered lips. “Last summer I went to Oklahoma for a camp at this school. We weren’t allowed to talk to any—people-- while we were there so they took away all our cell phones. I got the tattoo when I was there and those words mean Protector of Souls. I can’t tell you anything else. I was sworn to secrecy.”
As soon as those last few words came out of her mouth I started busting up laughing.
At first I thought it was a quiet laugh but I realized it was so loud that I was drawing attention to our table. I looked up to see everyone’s heads turned towards us staring at me like I was some idiot.
Trying to hide the laugh as a cough I looked at her and said in a strained tone, “You are so lying.” Her expression didn’t change as she sat with her arms crossed in the wooden chair. I waited for the thin line of her shimmering lips to curve up into a smile, but after a few seconds of waiting nothing happened.
“You really don’t believe me.” She said her tone growing more agitated with each syllable that rolled off her tongue.
I knew it was more of a statement than a question. The wheels turned in my head as I tried to process each word she said. I knew the words on her tattoo were Latin but I just didn’t know what they meant until now.
I began to get curious so I asked another question. “Does your tattoo have anything to do with why you were at that camp?”
Her lips twisted into an awkward position, almost as if she was debating with herself inside her head. “That’s—confidential.”
I was right.
I couldn’t help the exasperated look from coming to my face. My fingers stopped tapping on the table and silence filled the space between us. It was soon broken when a giggle escaped from my lips.
“This is ridiculous Jaye; I know your lying so why don’t you just drop the act.” I said trying to get her to give up on this charade.
She sighed and shook her head just like she did when she was actually telling the truth.
I bit my lip as I questioned my accusation. It was a silly thing to believe though. My best friend was a guardian? Or whatever you would classify that as. It was something a five year old would believe, and we are practically adults. I just couldn’t figure out what triggered this stupid childhood fantasy. I mean Jaye always took everything so seriously, this defiantly wasn’t like her.
“No. I won’t. You will see soon enough.” She said in a grim tone with the same thin pressed line at her lips.
I frowned at her before I responded, “I think you need to see a doctor.”
I watched as her eyebrows raised and her ice blue eyes grew cold. Her posture changed from sitting straight up to placing her elbows on the table and leaning towards me. I leaned back a little so she wasn’t so close to me. Her gaze wasn’t friendly it was almost frightening. A wicked smile twitched at her lips as one side pulled up into a half grin.
“Really, because all they will say is there is nothing wrong with me. All eyes will be looking at you.” Her voice sent a chill down my spine.
I swallowed hard but tried not to let it show. I could feel her eyes on me even though I was staring down at the wooden table. I felt as if they were piercing into my body. I tried to stay calm and not have labored breathing. I could feel her emotions swarming around me.
Irritation. Anger. Relief.
All of them trapping me into a corner, and almost suffocating me. I reached for my coffee cup and took a sip of it. I tried focusing on something other than what she had just said-- or just her for that matter. I watched as she inched her hand towards mine.
I gasped and pulled back a little, our fingers only centimeters apart. Instead of pulling back as well her hand moved over mine. As soon as her fingers touched my skin, my muscles grew very tired—I grew very tired. My eyelids fell but I fought to keep them open. I tilted my head up so I could look at Jaye. But her face began to grow very fuzzy.
“Don’t be alarmed. It’s procedure.”
Those were the last words that I heard before I blacked out.
