Patience

Patience
All I have to do is get through,
Life,will end, so I just wait.
Wait, wait, suffer, cry,
And then, finally die.
Just live, and live alike.
Patience is a virtue.
Wait until life is through,
Live for others,
In yourself
wait, wait, suffer, cry,
and then finally die.

I enjoyed this poem a lot. My main critique is the language. A thought so complex needs more words to describe it, it deserves them.

live for others

this part is so true

patience is a virtue

I think this is too cliche for this poem, since the topic is overused, you have to avoid cliches at all costs.

Keep writing.

Hi there

I agree with the last review, there are quite a few clichés here. Especially "patience is a virtue" just think of it this way: any phrase you have read or heard before you should try and avoid from your own work. I know it can be difficult but you have to try.

Also I think you have used far too many commas here, it makes it feel very broken up and stunted. I recommend focusing on making it flow better.

Keep working at it.

I agree with the last two reviews (about the cliche parts etc.), so I won't repeat that.

cj2344 wrote:Wait, wait, suffer, cry,
And then, finally die.

I don't think you need to repeat this, but that is just my opinion. Thats all I've got to say. Keep writing!