Lily Cohen
01-06-11
Cookie Whisperer
Crumbs, that is all that is left of me. Tiny little bits of me at the bottom of a glass of milk. You are probably wondering why I am at the bottom of a glass of milk and how I got there. Let me begin by saying that I have just escaped my attempted murder. Unlike humans, cookies like me cannot move, and therefore I cannot escape from my confinement. Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you. I am an Oreo. I may be milk’s favorite cookie, but let me tell you that I am not enjoying the milk. It drastically lowers my life expectancy.
As for how I got here, I think the answer in pretty obvious. I am a cookie and cookies are eaten. I have no idea how to get out of here….
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Then I woke up. I had fallen asleep while eating a midnight snack. I eyed the Oreo next to me. It had a big bite taken out of it which almost made me feel bad. Then I remembered that cookies do not actually have feelings.
I heard a voice and jumped. It was only 3:00 a.m. No one in my house should be up. Then, I heard it again and I swear it was coming from the cookie.
“Do not even think about it.” I heard. Now, I knew it was coming from the cookie because the cookie turned to face me. I can admit that I am not the brightest crayon in the box, but I am very sure it is not normal for a cookie to make threats. I thought that Oreos were supposed to be sweet!
Strangely enough, I did not at all doubt the fact that my cookie was talking to me. I actually found my self saying. “Think about what?”
“Eating me.”, replied the exasperated cookie. When I look back at that time, I really regret ever talking to my cookie. Now every time I eat cookies, I check to see if they are alive. (Once a friend caught me asking a cookie if it was alive. We are not friends anymore).
I am a twelve year old girl of average height and weight. I have brown hair and eyes. I am completely unremarkable in every respect, except for the fact that I am completely unremarkable. Well, that and I also now talk to a cookie. Oh yes, the cookie conversation.
After staring at the cookie for what seemed like an hour, I ran into my room and dreamed more about cookies. I woke up the next morning and decided that the whole thing had never happened before coming downstairs to eat breakfast. I saw the cookie and fell over.
My mother, Jane, rushed to my side. Like me, she is also plain except that her hair is even a little more brown than mine. “Are you alright?” she asked.
I mumbled something and went to my room slyly picking up the cookie as I went. Once I got to my room I stared at it, and it stared back at me. “Hi.” I said. It looked at me
“I am Norm.” it said.
“I am Misty.” I said. This was exactly what I needed, a talking cookie named Norm. Of all the names in the world, it had to be named Norm!
“We have nine more days to live” Norm said.
I asked the obvious question, “Why?”
“You ate part of me and separated me from my spirit. Now, since I am a talking cookie and I am not whole, I have only nine days to live. Plus, when a talking cookie dies, it takes its murderer with it and that, my friend, means you. The only way to escape this punishment is to reunite me with my spirit which now resides beneath the Sugar Mountains in the Bermuda Triangle. This is the Cookie Resting Place. The real reason people do not return from there is that they are slaves to their own sweet tooth.” Norm informed me.
I stared at him as though he had just announced that every cookie in the world could talk and that they had made a deal with supper evil aliens to overthrow humans. He was not kidding.
Naturally, being me, I locked the cookie in my closet and me in my attic and started freaking out. I did not even stop for a second to wonder if the cookie was telling the truth. Luckily for me I lived in North Carolina and am not to far from the “Cookie Resting Place”.
The next two days we spent planning our escape. My family has a boat and I know how to sail it. The second night, I snuck the supplies onto the boat. We left the following day. We traveled for three days before reaching an island with sand made of chocolate, trees of candy, mountains of sugar, and flowers of cotton candy.
“I am guessing this is it.” I said nibbling a tree.
“Yeah, it is.” said Norm. We walked to the base of the mountain and took in the site. There were endless tunnels and caves entwined. It was labyrinth. “Which entrance do we go in?” I asked.
“I do not know.” Norm replied. “There is supposed to be a sign.” We looked for it all day and then until the night. Finally, we made camp near a rock with a tarp I had brought. (Actually I did it. Norm refused saying that he was not able to help because he did not have arms.)
When I awoke, it was sunrise and the sun’s glare hit the mouth of one of the caves making it gleam. (It also made the world smell or warm cookies!) I woke Norm to show him. “Is that the entrance? I asked.
“Yeah.” answered Norm.
“Should we go in?” I asked.
Norm replied, “We should wait till the afternoon. Start packing we will need…”
After the packing was done (I did all of it. Norm is so lazy!) We walked into the tunnel. (There was a trail of crumbs too, but we chose not to follow it.) By the way, did I mention that, because Norm is a cookie, I have to carry him everywhere? And to top it off, he complains about how tired he is, even though all he does all day is make snide comments which I do not care to repeat for fear that any vegetables reading this paper might be offended. I am still not sure if any other foods are alive. Norm says that I am getting grumpy.
So, here was the tally so far: One day finding out I was going to die, two days planning, three days sailing, one day searching and today I was going into the tunnels. That only left two more days if you include today!!!! My pace quickened, I started running. It was not long before I realized that I had made the wrong decision and was hopelessly lost. I woke Norm who was taking a nap in my pocket. “What?” he asked.
“Where are we?” I snapped. (I do not care what you say. I have the right to be grumpy since I am about to die in two days and all because I ate an Oreo!!!!!!!!!!)
“Did I remember to tell you to follow the path of crumbs?” asked Norm.
“No!” I screamed.
“Opps.” said Norm as though he did not even care that we were going to die because he forgot to tell me directions and left me wandering around hopelessly lost in a cave.
“Well, what do we do now?” I yelled.
“Well, you could start by apologizing.” Norm sneered.
“Why should I apologize when you are the one who told me to go into the cave without any directions?” I retorted.
“Fine, then just look for crumbs!” screamed Norm. I did look for crumbs. I looked for hours and hours. Finally, peering through a hole in the tunnel wall, I saw the crumbs on the other side of the passage. I chipped through by eating the wall before finally creating a hole big enough to fit through.
I reached into my pocket to get Norm from his usual sleeping spot and felt nothing. It was then that I remembered that I had not picked Norm up from the cavern where we had argued earlier.
I tried to retrace my steps, and but it still took me a long time to reach the spot where I had last seen Norm. I could not find him. I searched all night and continued on until finally I found him asleep exactly where I had left him. I woke him and began my journey back to the crumbs.
I do not understand how anyone (or, perhaps I should say, “anything”) can possibly sleep that much! I kind of wanted someone to talk to in my last hours. That also makes me think about how I probably should be crying, but it seems very cliché.
By the time we reached the crumbs, it was night and I literally had two hours to live. Crying did not seem so bad anymore and so tried to cry, but couldn’t. I just ended up making strange noises that made me laugh.
I followed the trail and then Norm awoke and screamed “Run!”, so I ran. Norm began to suffocate and I understood.
I see it in the distance and run with every ounce of strength I have left. Norm dies, and I stop and feel sad but mostly wonder why I am not dead. It was then that I realized the truth. I was never in any danger of dying. Norm lied to me to trick me into helping him!
Jerk!!!
It was very amusing and I was very amused, which is really all I have to say, lol. 
