Life is...

Life is...
I don't know
It can be good
It can be bad

For me,
Life is just frustrating
How am I supposed to live life if all these things keep happening to me?
When I love the way life's going
It turns in the wrong direction
But I don't get it?
I didn't turn the steering wheel that way.
When life is bad
It backs up to go the right way.
But is getting stuck really necessary?
I didn't do anything at all.

lishaismyname wrote:Life is...
I don't know Don't know about this. It's pretty cliched.
It can be good
It can be bad So bland...can you think of anything more powerful?

For me,
Life is just frustrating
How am I supposed to live life if all these things keep happening to me? Much too long.
When I love the way life's going
It turns in the wrong direction Meh. Reword this.
But I don't get it? Shouldn't be a question.
I didn't turn the steering wheel that way. Too straightforward. Too simplistic. Interesting idea, but the way you portrayed it was not at all interesting.
When life is bad Again, very bland.
It backs up to go the right way. Reword this. The phrasing is off.
But is getting stuck really necessary?
I didn't do anything at all.

Huh. Okay. This was intriguing. I like the emotion. Keep writing.

-Kafka

Hey, it's Smashles here for a review! Hopefully it will prove helpful to you

lishaismyname wrote:Life is...
I don't know

Okay, I don't like the "I don't know" part. It's not that it's cliched, like what Kafkaescence said, but I think that it sounds like you've just thrown the whole poem away, like your English teacher has asked you a question about the book you're studying but because you don't like the book, you don't care. Perhaps you could replace it with something powerful, like maybe "Life is Mysterious" rather than "I don't know".

lishaismyname wrote:But I don't get it?

Again, you sound like you're throwing it away. Perhaps replace it with "But I don't understand."

lishaismyname wrote:I didn't turn the steering wheel that way.
When life is bad
It backs up to go the right way

This is my favourite part

So overall it's a good poem, but you could use some more powerful language with parts of it, like I said.
Keep writing, you're not bad at it
Smashles

I really liked the idea of your poem... But I think you should use more powerful words and a bit more creative expression... Anyway, I liked your work...