Best Friend..yeah right

I put this into narrative poetry. I felt it belonged there more! It really does tell a story.

It rhymes! Again! How do you get it to do that? It's awesome.
Now, I love it, though it depresses me just a bit, but that's life, I guess. Depressing at times even when we don't want it to be. I wish life would rhyme. (Nah, that would get annoying after 13 seconds.)
I only found one spelling error in my read through. "grone." should be groan. But, no biggie. Spelling is really the least important thing when it comes to writing. The most important is to get your message through, and I think you did it beautifully.
Keep writing! Maybe a happy poem this time!

Hahaha, thank you so much. I DEFINITELY will write a happy poem! Oh, and thanks, I hate typos!

I love this so much. This poem is full with so much emotion that I really, really love this poem. I am following you, I am telling you now. I am not exaggerating, either this expresses the ups and the downs the in and the outs.I love it.

--> I really like this (although I don't have a situation like that) before I had, but it was over. Enough about the tidbits of my life.

--> I like the emotion and everything

Wow!!! I liked the rhymes you used... The ending was sad... But, yeah, life happens sometimes...
Altogether I liked it...

Wow! Again, MissRockers, you astound me with your amazing writing ability. I think what makes this poem so great is that it tells all the truths of friendship, the ups AND the downs, and you don't shy away from the truth and try to make it seem like your friendship with her is all daisies and no thistles. And I'm sure many of us can relate to it, I know I can.

Anyway,

"That's fine" I thought, There should be a comma after fine.

When we first met each other,
we were young, oh so young. I'm sorry, but I just don't like this. Instead of repeating 'young', I would suggest to try to find a different word to explain it. Maybe... naive? It seems to me a few words in this poem are there just to keep the rhyme. And in some instances, that's perfectly fine. But I think you can still keep the beauty of this poem without rhyming every stanza. Some people will nag you for it, but who cares what they think! But this is just my opinion. It will still be great if you keep it like this.

Feelings that I was not important
engulfed me in thoughts that I was not enough. Using both 'feelings' and 'engulfed' here don't sound quite right to me... maybe replace 'engulfed' with sprung? And perhaps say, 'Feelings that I was not important/ Sprung thoughts that I was not enough.'

In any case, beautiful poem. It has a couple flaws, but if you choose not to mess with it it will still be just as great. Bravo!

~Mas

Wow, I loved it. The sad thing is is that i can relate to that. I love the way you managed to put the poem into a story explaining the way best friends always fight but make up quickily, also the not everything lasts.

...................are you sure you're not writing about me?

Just kidding.

I'm not sure about the rhyming...I've had people told me to avoid using words just for the sake of rhyme, but I'm still new to that concept, so... (It looks good to me.)

but accepted the fact that she did not care.

This might be better if you used "didn't"--not sure.

Actually, I could say that about most of the places where contractions could be made, but that could just be my affinity for abbreviating things talking.

Attacking only her, or else my soul would just melt.

Might be better "Attacking her, or my soul would melt."

like she did in the past.

Use "as" instead of "like". It's not as...... teen-speak-ish. (?) Haha I don't know what to call it, but I think it would be.... prettier (not sure if that's the word I want) that way.
(I remember seeing this somewhere else, but I can't remember where.)

*sigh* And I completely understand the emotion behind this poem. I seem to only make friends with busy people. It gets old.

K, thanks for your tips! Haha, yep, I agree busy people definitely get old!

After reading that I really don't have a good reply.
I love it.
Just remember God is always there for you!

Wow. I don't think I've eve read a poem with this much emotion in it. All I can say is, great work, keep it up, and never give up, even when your friends give up on you.

I truly thank all of you guys. God is all of the love and support I will ever need. And, so are you guys!! It's what keeps me goin'!

"Right then an arrow hit my heart, spewing out with blood. " my fav line :D:D
KEep up girl, tears lit in my eyes while reading it . yes i've been there before ........ and you expressed beautifully

This is so amazing! And very true. I love poems that tell a story. The rhymes we're great and made it more interesting but, there we're a couple of words I think we're meant to rhyme but, you couldn't really think of a word to fit. Like " Young " and " Fun " ...I would give you some advice but, rhyming is not my thing Haha. Maybe like..Sung? And when I was with her my heart sung. Yeah..Well...The poem was really nice and I truly love it!