Sarah's Reply

Spoiler

Okay, it's my first time to submit a lyric poetry and I dunno if you'll enjoy it or not, but at least I had fun :O gosh- This one is sort of a "fan fiction" lyric poetry (fan-fiction for the song "Sorry Little Sarah" by Blue System).. and I dunno where to put it/ if I should put in in the Other Poetry category- Sorry if I didn't count the syllables, etc. This is meant to be a free and blank verse.

I feel crying like a child that lost her toy,
When you said goodbye, my love,
I see you leave and crying out your tears of joy,
You think my love is not enough?

I want to kiss you, kiss you,
I'll always miss you, miss you,
How could you try to break my heart?
I gave my all, my dear,
Why did you leave me here?

CHORUS:

"Sorry little Sarah, Sarah"- you told me when I'm begging you,
"Sorry little Sarah, Sarah. Can't make it through.",
Baby, I'm still waiting for your call,
I'm staring at the wall.

"Sorry little Sarah"- echoes in my heart and soul.

Don't you want me 'cause I think, you're a loser guy?
Is our break-up known in town?
For you, I quit playing games with other guys,
But our break-up let me down.

When we meet again, I'll kiss you,
I'll promise not to hurt you,
But it's too late, you said goodbye,
Return to me, amour,
You're all I'm waiting for my love.

it is a sad poem as well as a good poem and it has a little bit awesome poem in there. I really like this and think that you should keep writing poems. Or is this your only one? Anyway, I love this poem and it sounds like it would be a good song. I like it. Smiles

Hello, liked the word play, but the thing with the chorus makes me think that this is a song, though you can have a refrain in poetry, the opening line is great,

"quitted" should be "quit"

yes, I definitely think this is a song, and it will definetely work better as a song...

excellent, 3 out of 5 stars-probably make a wonderful, infectious song...