Memory

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-Memory-

February 1, 2011



Not Just A Memory

Not Just A Thought

Not Just Some Item That Can Be Bought



Only His Love

Only His Faith

Only His Spirit

Will Make Him Live On Forever



To Some- A memory

To some- A Gift

To Some- Nothing Special

To Me- He Is My Brother

To Me- He Is My Happiness

To Me- He Is Everything And More



Not Just A Memory

Not Just A Thought

Not Just Some Item That Can Be Bought
-JJ-
My new website needs members: http://wwww.writethiswaywriters.webs.com




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I really like this simplistic piece of poetry :)
The way it flows and the structure of it is quite sweet. It brings images and once reading it I couldn't help but recall some of my past memories if I'm honest, fun times!
Its truly something simply beautiful.

Also I know this doesn't really relate to the poem but I have your Avatar as one of my backgrounds on my laptop :D

Anyway. Well done! I look forward to reading more.
...The Emptiness Will Haunt You...




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Firstly, I'd fix up the formatting. It's a lot easier to read when you don't have a space between every line.

Now. My main problem lies with the first stanza. See, you set the reader up to expect a rhyme scheme, and then when you move on to the second stanza, it sounds really strange, since I'm thinking you're going to continue with the rhyming.

Hope this was helpful.

-Kafka
#TNT

WRFF




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I like the repetition of

Not just a memory
Not just a though
Not just some item that can be bought


at the beginning and at the end of the poem.
However, I suggest that you break the third line up into two separate ones.

Apart from that, I like the poem :).



The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it.
— Sylvia Plath