Vulnerability

*Before you read this, I would like to inform you that this is not about some guy, it's about my biological father. Now, I've been working on this for a very long time, with some advice from my friends and my English teacher. I hope you all like it as much as they do.*





I peel away my skin,
And I am vulnerable.
I tear away at my muscle,
And I am vulnerable.
I break my bones and rip them from my body,
And I am vulnerable.
I reach into my chest and pull out my heart,
And I am vulnerable.

You watch me as I place my heart on the table,
And you smile.
You look at my peeled away skin,
And you smile.
You admire my broken bones,
And you smile.
You gaze at the pile of muscle,
And you smile.

You gather up my things,
My skin,
My muscle,
My bones,
And my heart,
And then you leave.

Had you not taken my heart,
I would cry.
Had you not taken my muscle,
I would fight you.
Had you not taken my bones,
I would stand up and chase you.
Had you not taken my skin,
I would not be vulnerable.

I opened myself up to you,
I gave you everything I had,
My skin,
My muscle,
My bones,
My heart.
I loved you,
I trusted my things would be safe with you.

But I was wrong,
You took them,
My skin,
My muscle,
My bones,
My heart,
And you left me to suffer.

You come back,
And you push my heart back into place.
You say you're sorry,
And you slid my bones back into place.
You tell me you love me,
And you lay my muscle back into place.
You try to put me back together,
And you plaster my skin back into place.
But it doesn't work.
Everything falls to the ground,
And then you leave again.

And I cannot care,
I cannot hate you,
I cannot love you,
Because I have no heart,
And now I must sit and suffer.



-Love and other things,
fictionfanatic

Hey you. This is amazing. It's so raw and painfully visual. I really admire you for being able to write something so honest and, well, vulnerable. Great job! (And for goodness' sake, help me continue my storybook!)

This is really deep and moving. I can relate to that perfectly. I loved the visual of sliding everything back into place. The thing I enjoyed was the repitition you used to get your point across. It is hard to see that these days. It drove me nuts when you broke away from the repitition. Haha I would have kept it up, but I still get the point. There isn't much fault I can find in it. I look forward to reading more and I apologize about your father. He sounds horrible and no one should have to deal with that.

Wow. I honestly think this is a very good poem. Your emotions are so visible through this poem and the feeling is powerful. It makes perfect sense and I like how you set the reader up for why parts of you are missing. It captures the feelings you meant to portray and it is overally grammatically correct.

You should keep up with the poems because this one is amazing!

Wow. No one has ever liked a poem I have ever written...probably because I try to twist things differently from how I feel, whereas with this one I just let it all out. Thanks for all the positive feedback you guys. I really really appreciate it.