Too Ugly

I walked down the aisle
With roses in my hand.
A flower in my hair
And petals below my feet.

I saw you smile
And reach out for me.
I reflected your happiness
But took a step back.

I saw you silently scream
As I ran from you.
Roses, slipping from my hands
And petals below me making me slip.

I, a coward,
Ran from you.
Because you’re too beautiful for me.
And I am too ugly inside from what I hide.

Ahhhhh! It's so sad...you're going to make me cry!

It's so beautiful and depressing at the same time, my nose is truly running, and I don't have a cold either. The flow is great, which is part of what made it so lovely. The way it is set in the past really brings out the way she feels about what happened when she is reflecting on it.

I didn't really understand what happened, quite at the end.

, a coward,
Ran from you.
Because you’re too beautiful for me.
And I am too ugly inside from what I hide.

At first I though she ran away because she though she was too ugly on the outside, but when you said she is too ugly inside, I wondered. Also, I believe a little better word choice would help.

Otherwise, what an awesome poem and keep making me cry (or laugh, if preferred)!

~Lili

This was a really cool poem. I liked this a lot actually. I disagree with Blueras though. I understood your ending perfectly.

I, a coward,
Ran from you.
Because you’re too beautiful for me.
And I am too ugly inside from what I hide.

This was dramatic and wonderfully written in my opinion. It was simple, but carried it's point given from the rest of the poem. Great job here. Keep it up.

OMG!! (yes, I used facebook terms, get over it )
This was very good. I liked it; it was amazing.

I walked down the aisle
With roses in my hand.
A flower in my hair
And petals below my feet.

I saw you smile
And reach out for me.
I reflected your happiness
But took a step back.

I saw you silently scream
As I ran from you.
Roses, slipping from my hands
And petals below me making me slip.

I, a coward,
Ran from you.
Because you’re too beautiful for me.
And I am too ugly inside from what I hide.

I like everything from this. I surprisingly (no offense) didn't find anything wrong with this. I applaud you. *laughing*

Good job with this. I especially like the ending; a nice surprise. Keep writing.

Hey,

I'm not getting why people are laughing. This doesn't seem like a very funny poem. Maybe I'm missing something. It's a nice poem, but your lines were pretty simple. I'm no Emily Dickinson and I have this problem too but the words you used were something that my third grade teacher would called 'Graveyard Words', which means that they've been used so many times, it's just annoying to read them again. When I use graveyard words/phrases, like 'I was mad' or 'I was scared', I try to replace them with words or phrases that have more feeling, more of a pulse to them. Instead of 'I am mad', try using something along the lines of 'blind with rage' or 'red with fury'. For 'I am scared', try ''my lips grew dry and my heart raced in fear'. Or something. Those were pretty bad examples but I think you get my point. Good work regardless!

Favorite Line: Roses, slipping from my hands.

Overall Grade: B

~Jas

This poem is the saddest thing i have read all day. I know how it feels to not believe some thing so good would happen to you. It's especially hard when you cant believe it because some one has creully tricked you like that before. I enjoyed reading this because it made sense to me.

I really like the sentimental meaning that you have in your work.

Thanks everybody! This poem, is VERY special to me. If some of you don't get it, let me explain. I have done a lot of things I regret, and still am. People say I am a very nice and loving person, but I feel, if they saw inside me, they would see all the bad things I've done, and not see who I realy am. So, I think I am ugly inside, even though I wrote it in 3rd person.

I think you should have expanded on this poem. It is hard to imagine why the person would think they are ugly on the inside. Use some metaphors to get that meaning across. Work on the last stanza since this part is where it becomes confusing.

I liked the simple words of this poem. It flowed nicely and it made it somewhat relateable. It reminded me of a wedding scene, with the flowers. Overall, good job. There isn't much I can say on this poem.

Hi brokeninpieces,
This is well written. It is sad but a it's good poem. I doubt you are ugly inside.
Keep writing!

Thanks cupcake, cute name by the way.

SOO SAD!!

I know, my bad, but it;s something I really feel, so it's all good.

--> title fits for the poem.
--> I also like the story, but not the ending :'( so sad, so sad.
--> It still kept me hanging, like, what made her ugly?
--> the guy is too beautiful, means that he's so kind, maybe, no one could be so perfect :O

--> moreover, LIKE )

Normally I see poems that rhyme throughout the poem, so this was a nice change.
I think what the poem is about is pretty obvious, so I'll leave that out.
It was pretty powerful though, it sort of built up towards that last stanza.
Overall, a good poem.
Well done!