& He kisses the clouds.

A pale wonder,
blooming with originality.
Soft eyes set on an unseen horizon.
Long hands outstretched towards the stars.
To wait on this dream,
is unheard of, to catch it
is a different story.
He lets the dawn of twilight slip through his fingers,
as the golden streams of light dance upon his face.
His hair surronds his cheeks like snow grasps the ground,
And his voice slips off his tongue at a rather rapid rate.
A heart without love, a life without meaning
Nothing for him seems to balance out.
He hears the sound of finger tips dancing across strings and is drawn in.
He feels heat carry aross his eyes and lets his lazy lids slip over them.
No longer is he breathing, no longer is he standing,
but lying still on a bed of needles loosing his breath and kissing the clouds.
No yes I know this poem makes no sense but i was in early morning detention and got bored. Maybe you can add your own little story to it (:, tah tah for now
-Rememberme

I like that even without discernible meter or rhyme, this is still a poem, even if only because of the poetic language. The language is so pretty! Unseen horizons, long hands, dawn of twilight, light playing across his face...sighs.

Then you go and say 'at a rather rapid rate?' Really? The needles were strange, the balancing out was a little jarring, but 'at a rather rapid rate' is unacceptable. *Looks stern.*

I love how he reaches out and interacts with stars and clouds and twilight and light and music. It makes me feel like I'm inside one of Jane Eyre's paintings and have met the spirit of the skies or something.

Thank you for having it not mean anything except what it means. I hate it when poems or art or music has some deep intrinsic meaning. Plain and simple, or in easy metaphorical disguise, or total nonsense is the way to go, unless, of course, you want to do a 'Fly Me to the Moon' and explain it afterwards. (Does that make me a despicable Philistine or just dumb?)

!!You wrote this pretty fluff in your spare time in detention?

Hello there
As I was reading this, I could not help but feel that your lines were practically hanging onto nothing- no solid concept. So the poem in general had no foundation or feeling. Your words were just floating on nothing. I really wished that things were a little different because your individual lines are very well written but they don't connect with each other.

Keep writing and good luck!

Though I'm not quite sure of the meaning of this poem, I applaud it because of it originality, which detention can sure provoke . Beautiful wording, it kept a perfect pace and all the while kept intriguing my attention.

His hair surronds his cheeks like snow grasps the ground,

I like this picture because I hate the snow, especially when it starts to stick to the ground and you painted an exact picture from a different view about the snow because it does grasp the ground, it doesn't want to leave after being born.

The very last line about kissing the clouds, again didn't make much sense, but the picture you set up made it very elegant that the reader can't help but be entranced at the wording of it all.

I loved it! keep writing!