Here There Be Dragons - 6

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Thanks for all comments! :D This is the first half of chapter four.

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A/N: Based on past comments, I've decided to have Jot change to just the cat-size. Makes it simpler and a little more believable, I think. So anyway, just proceed as if that's how it's been all along.

Recap: Jot the dragon and Chance the young knight are in a village, spending the night at an inn, before journeying on to the kingdom Rale, to rescue Chance's sister from the evil wizard. Jot's special abilities include "turning invisible" and shrinking.


Here There Be Dragons

Chapter Four

Chance was awakened by a lovely voice singing a forlorn song in a melodramatic tone.
“And my foe was vanquished by claw and by tooth, and here now I speaketh only the truth,
“I’ll fight you forever, forever you’ll be, my sweet-tasting, light bon-ed supper for me.”
“A-hem,” said Chance, rolling onto his side and peering down at the floor.
I looked up. “Your blood will flow to my mouth and my heart,” I announced.
“Stop that.”
“As I rend you to pieces and tear you apart!”
With a disgusted sigh, Chance sat up. I instantly stood and stretched my front limbs. “Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for hours now.”
“I needed that rest. Haven’t had a good night’s sleep in ages.”
“That would explain your perpetually staring eyes. It’s not healthy, you know. Not natural.”
Chance didn’t even rise to the jab. He simply dropped his feet to the ground, paused, then hefted himself up to stand. I played idly with a dead rat; Chance didn’t ask where it had come from.
“We leave this village in an hour,” Chance announced, pulling on his tunic. “And then we’ll be on the road.”
I snorted. “That’s not going to happen. You’ll get distracted, you won’t find what you’re looking for, and we won’t end up leaving for at least two hours.”
As it turned out, my prediction nearly rang true. It took at least a half hour for us to leave the inn; Chance breakfasted and paid, only to find as we were leaving that he had forgotten a small knife in his room. Of course, Chance didn’t feel the need to specify just what he had left behind, and the innkeeper was loath to let the boy back into the room without an explanation. The ensuing hassle left Chance nearly hopping in impatience and myself (in the pack) snickering. When the innkeeper finally let Chance return to the room, the boy discovered that the knife was actually in his boot, and he hastily departed under the glares of the innkeeper and his wife, who had gotten involved.
“Snappy times, eh?” I said from the pack’s depths.
“Quiet,” Chance muttered, stepping into the crowded street. “Now I’ve got to find better armor and a horse.”
“Try the ironsmith.”
“I told you to be quiet.”
“Fine.” I positioned myself so my back and spikes happened to be poking Chance in the back.
“Why did I ever think to bring it along with me?” I heard him sigh.
“That’s what I’d like to know.”
Silence; he was moody now. And he stayed that way as he sulkily struck a deal with a gruff ironsmith who seemed suspicious of the ragged boy. Can’t imagine why.
In the end, Chance got his armor cleaned and inspected for a small fee, which wasn’t exactly what he had imagined, but sufficed enough for his limited amount of coins.
“Now for a horse,” he muttered as we left the armory and mixed in the crowded street again.
“They’re usually found in stables,” I commented aloud to myself. Chance sighed, as if he had something burdensome on his mind. Probably thinking of his sister, dear boy.
As Chance quickly discovered, there was only one stable that sold horses, and in that rickety structure there were only three steeds available. I subtly peeked out of the pack and in a second had reckoned that the first one, a large draft horse, would make a fine meal for me, though it looked a bit doughy and lethargic. The second was too sprightly and would no doubt give me an upset stomach. The third was no better than a rack of bones with some skin stretched over it and a bush stuck on to pass as a tail.
Unfortunately, as Chance was just starting to discuss the possibility of buying one of the sorry steeds, the nervous one caught my scent and went berserk, setting the other horses off in varying modes of alarm. Of course, the stable owner wasn’t to know that the cause of the horses’ unease was actually me; he naturally thought it was Chance, and concisely told the boy to get the hell out of the stable and bring his bad luck with him.
This did not seem to improve Chance’s feelings towards me.
“Now what am I going to do,” he sighed, frowning at the closed stable doors. “I can’t walk to Rale on foot, that would take too long. I wouldn’t reach it in time.”
There weren’t many people in this area; it was tucked away, in a corner of the village, by the protective wall. Obviously, Chance wasn’t too worried about anyone overhearing him talking aloud.
Which was stupid of him, because it just so happened that a man was lingering in the shadows of the wall, watching intently. He sprang forward as soon as Chance had spoken and said in a cheery voice, “Well now, sir, and what is your problem? P’raps you need some assistance?”
Chance whirled around; I, with my invisible scales, peeked subtly over his shoulder and couldn’t help the little cry of recognition that left my mouth. Fortunately, Chance’s mouth was open, perhaps in his own moment of surprise at seeing a familiar face, and the noise was attributed to Chance.
“What’s the noise for?” Ryder—the trouble-cause of the tavern, the scraggly-looking roustabout—seemed genuinely curious.
“Er—it’s just, I didn’t know anyone else was here,” Chance blustered. I could see his cheeks going red in his confusion and I inwardly sighed. This boy was far, far out of his way. I couldn’t imagine how he was going to cope when we actually reached the grandiose kingdom of Rale, with its pristine streets and noble, corpulent wizards.
“Well, this may not be a bustling city, but it does not mean that it is completely abandoned.” Ryder strode casually to the side, hands clasped loosely behind his back in a non-threatening posture. I peered at him; scruffy beard, tangled, greasy hair, and a glint in his gray eyes that all characterized a fighter; as for his clothes, they were good, durable ones that travelers usually wore, stained with mud and other—well, let’s just say brown—spots. He had a broadsword at his side, which looked very much like it could be drawn in one easy motion. I had no doubt that this man knew how to fight, and fight effectively, whereas I had yet to see Chance display any sort of combative prowess. Again, I heaved an internal sigh. The boy was going to die, and I would be without my steel. Perhaps it would be better to eat Chance and have done with the whole business.
While I was pondering over this lovely thought, Chance seemed to have been sizing Ryder up as well, and I could almost feel his mind spinning, wondering what to do. Ryder was now standing in front of us, arms folded and legs in a firm, confident stance. He was regarding Chance steadily.
“Well, boy?” he finally said, breaking the silence that had draped over our corner of the city. “In need of some help? I overheard you talking about a journey to Rale, and I must say that I have services I can give, for a fair price. You need a guide, no doubt. And I am one of the very finest you’ll find.”
I snorted. Chance hastily wiped his nose, as if he had made the sound because his nostrils were stuffed.
“Erm, no, thank you,” he said politely. “I think w—I’ll be just fine.”
“Oh really?” Ryder began pacing in front of Chance, in a very calculating manner that reminded me of myself, when I was toying with a victim. It felt a little odd, seeing the maneuver instead of actually doing it myself.
Ryder spoke, never once looking at Chance, all in an attempt to make the boy feel insignificant and vulnerable at the same time. “What are you hoping to do in Rale, I wonder? You are obviously a novice traveler, who’s probably never set foot outside your father’s fief. Are you heading to the kingdom to gain a chance at knighthood? You’re off to a poor start here; there’s not much in this town that’ll get you anywhere large and fancy. In fact, most of the people here are troublemakers. Robbers, swindlers, the like. And you just attract too much attention.”
Chance’s muscles tensed; I could feel it through the pack. He was probably now wondering how he could get away from this shifty, smelly man. Meanwhile, I was growing impatient with the circumstances we were falling into due to the imbecilic mind of this boy.
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
~Rick Castle




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MNC, here to review (first)!

Chance breakfasted and paid,


Hey, I never knew breakfasted was a word!

The ensuing hassle left Chance nearly hopping in impatience and myself (in the pack) snickering.


I don't think you need (in the pack). People who have read this from the beginning know that Jot's riding in the pack.

Well, like always RH, the was pure awesomeness. Like you.

One thing- the plot I can tell so far is reminding me of Eragon. If you've read it (And if you haven't, you should) you'd know that Eragon got the dragon, and the help of Brom (Rest In Peace). If he gets the help of Ryder, than it'll become more like Eragon. My suggestion is that Ryder doesn't come with them, and maybe shows up later in the story. But hey, it's just my opinion.

This bleeds amazingness. I can't get over this series, RH. You poison me with your amazing writing. Good day.

~MNC
"Fantasy is a way of looking through the wrong end of the telescope."

"The writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads!"

~Dr.Seuss.




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Yay, another chapter up (or at least part of it)!

No nitpicking here, I always knew what what going on, I wasn't confused at all, your grammar and spelling are perfect. Really, I don't know, why I'm giving you a review. Oh right, to compliment you on this story. Great, awesome, amazing, exciting, funny... I've run out of words.

About it being like Eragon: Don't worry, I didn't feel reminded of Eragon at all. The Dragon isn't "nice" enough to be like Eragon's dragon (was it Saphira? it's been ages since I last read that), and I don't really trust this Ryder guy, (and Brom was good) so I'd say: totally different story.

Keep on writing!

~Lemikita




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Yay! More Dragons! I was actually going to nag you to put up the next chapter, before I saw that you had on HTBD's wall. (X Read my mind.

Chance was awakened by a lovely voice singing a forlorn song in a melodramatic tone.
And my foe was vanquished by claw and by tooth, and here now I speaketh only the truth,
“I’ll fight you forever, forever you’ll be, my sweet-tasting, light bon-ed supper for me.

“A-hem,” said Chance, rolling onto his side and peering down at the floor.
I looked up. “Your blood will flow to my mouth and my heart,” I announced.
“Stop that.”
As I rend you to pieces and tear you apart!

This is just such a tiny, tiny thing to do with format. I didn't see at first that it rhymed. Maybe you should start a new line after the rhyming words so that it's clearer it's a song.
And my foe was vanquished by claw and by tooth,
and here now I speaketh only the truth,
I’ll fight you forever, forever you’ll be,
my sweet-tasting, light bon-ed supper for me

I'm not too sure how you'd set it out as dialogue, though. A new speech mark for every line would look a bit bad. Maybe you could format it like in LOTR? When the elves always sing (like, always) and there's a paragraph in the middle of the page. Meh, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have pointed this out, haha.
Also, the song didn't feel so much forlorn. The exclamation marks and semantic field (fight, claw, sweet-tasting) fits more with Jot eating than Jot feeling sad. It feels more playful and jolly than slow and sad.

I played idly with a dead rat; Chance didn’t ask where it had come from.

Made me laugh. (:

and bring his bad luck with him.
Would "take" sound better? *Is in a nitpicky mood* Sorry.

Ryder—the trouble-cause of the tavern

Cause of trouble? Or trouble-causer?

and have done with the whole business.

Be done?

Why didn't you post the whole chapter?! *cries* I want to know what happens next. Post more. Now. ;] Ah, Ryder reminds me of Aragon (if that's how you spell his name). I don't know why I have LOTR on the brain right now, haha. He just reminds me so much of the Aragon character with 1) MC finds him in an inn. 2) MC initially distrusts him (hopefully that'll change). 3) Rugged appearance. I don't know actually if you were going for tramp, or if he's ..rugged.. and Jot's snobbiness is making him sound tramp-like because of his disdain for him? 3) Good fighter. 4) Tiny bit arrogant. A strong-willed person. 5) Bit of a lone ranger.
Yeah, I think I love him right now because I'm expecting him to turn out like Aragon in LOTR. (X

Also, I swear I've seen/heard "breakfasted" before. Like in period dramas or The Complete Works of Jane Austen. So, yeah... Also, google confirms it's a word. Google's great for stuff like that. (:

And MilkNCookies! I keep thinking you are Skins! I blame Paul...

So, yeah, Ranger. This was brilliant, as usual. I love how you are able to keep on making it seem like everything is Jot's opinion and has Jot stamped all across it. That really stood out to me in this chapter for some reason.

Keep it up! (: And I'm looking forward to the next bit. Post soon, pleeease.

~Emma
Your = Possession. Your shoes are so sweet!
You're = Omission. You're quite strange...

If you are confused about which to put, simply say in your mind "you are" and see if that fits the sentence. If not, you are looking for your.

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Ma fille, un autre chapitre!

First, I didn't get either a LOTR vibe (sorry, Emmaaaaaaaa!) or an Eragon one.

I see what Emma means, but Jot is so unique you forget about any similarity. (It's Aragorn, Emma. They don't say it that way but.......).

I loved this and I don't mind if Ryder tags along: he seems like an interesting character.

Can't wait to see where this is going, you really should have posted the whole thing ;)

Mum.




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Thank you all so much for the feedback! I find it amusing to see the gamut of impressions Ryder's given.

About Brom -- I always pictured him as something of a mentor. Ryder is definitely not that.

About Aragorn -- again, I thought of him as a staunch, dependable, trustworthy figure. If Ryder has any of those qualities, they've yet to appear. ;) Sorry, Emma, to get your hopes up!

Oh, and breakfasted is a word, but I suppose it might have been from some 19th century book I read. Not anything modern. XD

Thank you all again for your reviews, and I'll be posting the rest of the chapter soon! :D
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
~Rick Castle




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Hey RH! I almost didn't see that you'd posted this!!
I read it last night, just hadn't gotten to reviewing it yet. So here I go!

I agree with Emma that you didn't need to cut this in two. Your chapters are always good and an easy read, so even if the chapter was long, we wouldn't have noticed :)

And my first thought when you mentioned Stryder was also Aragorn, but by the way you'd portrayed him in the last chapter, I didn't actually see him as Aragorn.

Overall, no nit-picks on my part. It was a good chappy, as usual.. And I'm feeling pretty useless as for my review, but I really got nothing else to say XD
Until the next chapter ;)
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Pffft, Suz - it's Ryder, not Stryder. haha.

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I know, that was a typo mistake. But it still makes me think of him!
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Hm...Ryder to Stryder to Strider (Aragorn's nickname). I see the connection now. ;)
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
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borntobe wrote:Pffft, Suz - it's Ryder, not Stryder. haha.

Glasses, baby girl?

Hahaha!

And I spelt Aragorn's name wrong? D: I only read the book last year, as well... And used it as inspiration for my creative coursework (the only book the exam board seemed to accept from my list). Meh, my memory is so bad.

When you first introduced Ryder, I pictured him as a scrawny, sneaky little so-and-so. Yet in this chapter, and especially when you said he'd be a good fighter, I imagined a broader, more muscle-bound holly-wood character (like Aragorn).
borntobe wrote:I don't mind if Ryder tags along: he seems like an interesting character.
Same! Although, I wish I didn't imagine two different people for him. D:



RH wrote:Hm...Ryder to Stryder to Strider (Aragorn's nickname). I see the connection now.

Yeah, my subconscious was totally on to that... ;]
Your = Possession. Your shoes are so sweet!
You're = Omission. You're quite strange...

If you are confused about which to put, simply say in your mind "you are" and see if that fits the sentence. If not, you are looking for your.

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Aaaaaaaaah! *confused*

No, Emma, I was saying that I made a typo mistake. I'd meant to say Ryder and wrote Stryder instead.. :P

By the way RH, why dis you write it's HTBD 6 if it's actually chapter 4? o.O
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It was a funny typo mistake... (: But that might just be me being easily amused... Again...

And RH just likes to confuse people, that's why. ;]
Your = Possession. Your shoes are so sweet!
You're = Omission. You're quite strange...

If you are confused about which to put, simply say in your mind "you are" and see if that fits the sentence. If not, you are looking for your.

Little Macey | Got YWS? | KOTS:BD




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(I love how this has turned into a conversation... XD )

By the way RH, why dis you write it's HTBD 6 if it's actually chapter 4? o.O


Because it's post 6. I decided not to do the whole Chapter 4 part 1 thing because it just gets too hard to keep track of.

And Ryder's character is still developing; I don't know him nearly as well as Jot or Chance, so I suppose there will be little issues I'll have to go back and fix once I'm done. :)
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
~Rick Castle




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I'm so confused on Ryder's role! Is he a thief, or someone who is actually willing to aid Chance in his quest? I'm utterly puzzled. But I'll read on to see how the story progresses. Hopefully, there will be fighting soon, haha!

~Panda;;
Southern hospitality just ain't what it used to be...

...Ain't what it used to be...



have u ever noticed how ugly rosy-lipped batfish r? and not like in the “aw ur so ugly ur cute” way that like opossums r — no they’re just hideously ugly beasts that should never have existed and r the epitome of evolution fails. the stupidity, blank look, head emptiness. they’re horrible n everyone who likes them r horrible too. they truly have the worst fan-base >:[
— Shady