Beneath the Smile

MissRockers, this is a wonderfully crafted poem! The flow, rhyme scheme, appearance--EVERYTHING was perfectly executed! I honestly have nothing to point out!

"Every day of the week she puts on this grin,
Hoping someone will see her true heart, and what lies within.
Yet she knows she will have to wait a while,
Until someone will see beneath her smile."

I LOVE how the title fits so flawlessly within this stanza!

This is truely amazing. It's very honest and has great heart put into it, that I can tell. I really felt the emotion behind it and I am guessing it is personal experience as I can relate to it very much. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. Nice rhythm and over all very good job. Keep it up.

This is an amazing poem. It really touched me, and I felt deep pity for this girl. Keep up the amazing work!!

Thanks so much! What I've realized throughout this year especially is that God will be there for everyone, no matter WHAT. We just have to be reminded of that all the time.

wow! that was brilliant...loved it! it was great......

Perfect. Thats all I have to say. I love it. It is so true and emotional. Its realistic and sad. Its such a beautiful poem. I could relate to it completley. Amazing poem. Its my my new favorite.

I love the rhythm, and the rhyme, it flows very smoothly and doesn't seem forced at all. It's the story of my life! Haha! Every one has to battle their insecurities in order to become something great! Love this! Keep Writing!

I really like this! I think everyone can relate to this at some point in their lives.

I have to post on this one. I must say, I have found this true at many points in my life. I get stuck inside all the lies and sadness, just wanting to fade into the shadows and wishing someone would see. Anyways, Yes, I can totally relate. I just think it's great that you've put it in writing so beautifully. I may not be an experienced writer, but I love how you paint the picture of this girl. It gives me a clear image. I really enjoyed reading this poem. Keep writing!

Wow! Surprisingly, overall I don't see anything wrong. Normally with poems of this length there is some issues, but other that minor details that have already been picked up by the other YWSers, I don't see much else to correct. I really liked this, amazing. The feel and tone is lovely, might I add.

~Fortissimo(:

You're pretty great! This is a cool poem, and really connected to me. All the neatest people in the world are bottled up inside- introverted, sad, creative.

You are someone just like me =}

I am going to use my favorite phrase, possibly overused by me, but it soooo applies in this case. This poem was legen......
wait for it.......
dary!!!!!!

I feel the same way, I used to do that a lot, then I said screw it and just showed up as myself the next day, and people respected me for it. Just put yourself out there, and if someone doesn't like you for who you are, they don't deserve to know you.

I really liked this. You've somehow managed to fill it with a sense of raw emotion yet made it sound restrained and desperate to escape. The character is very deep and I can relate to this person in that I think you have managed to create a picture that you could apply to most people. We all hide the person we really are and hope that someone will discover it yet we are all also like the people who scorn the character and talk about her behind her back. From my point of view you have created a near perfect snapshot of the most delicate states of human nature.