Little Birdie

I saw a little bird at lunchtime so I wrote this...


Little birdie,
Hops around,
Looks at me,
When on the ground.

Little birdie,
Over there,
Pecks at crumbs,
I dropped right there.

Little birdie,
Flies away,
Please come back,
To me someday.

hey there
As always your poetry is insanely cute. I love reading your work, it really has this simplicity to it that has a way of making me smile. Great job dear! Keep it up. I wana see more of your work.
xxx Upile xxx

This was very cute and simple I liked it a lot, although I feel there is not much to go off of for a complete review. I merely have this to say, sometimes short poems just work, and this worked in its own little way. It gave off an innocent vibe. Almost like something that could be used in a children's book!

Awww, that was really cute. It should be on a greeting card or postcard. I really liked it. Great job.

Hey guys, thank you for the reviews!

This is a cute poem! It's short and sweet, so it may be hard to do a full review, but I promised one and I'm going to give one! My comments will be in blue.

Little birdie,
Hops around,
Looks at me,
When on the ground.<- You don't need a comma after every line. try "Little birdie/ hops around;/ he looks at me/ when on the ground. Cute opening.

Little birdie,
Over there,
Pecks at crumbs,
I dropped right there.<- You rhymed there with there...

Little birdie,
Flys away,
Please come back,
To me someday.<- "flies" Very nice ending! Sweet and good.

I liked this. It was very simple (not necessarily bad), but again, it was quite cute. As someone said above, this would work in a children's book. It sounds like something my sister might like; she enjoys the simpler poems.