Me and You...

I don't really get on what basis to categorize my poems....don't mind if i got the wrong category(again)... Please read through and review, whether appreciating or criticizing, It doesn't matter. And I would love it if you point out mistakes.....

Another day has gone by
And you still haven't said a thing
Every time I see you
I keep praying you'll say something.

Yesterday I saw you
Staring silently at me
I hoped that you'd come
And make me feel all dizzy.

But you kept sitting there
looked away when I caught you
I looked down and smiled to myself
Because you made it a happy day.

Now we're preparing for the senior's farewell
But you're dancing with a different girl
I see her enjoying and a fire rages inside me
Overwhelmed with emotion, I cry silently

Your friends don't like me a lot
Is that why you're silent?
Wondering what their reaction will be
If you confess your feelings for me?

Don't let them stop you
They don't see what you do
They just see the clique status
So i am not right for you.

Can't you hear my heart
It beats frantically for you
I close my eyes and see your face
You make my heart race.

And I know that you love me
Just as I love you
Don't care what the world says
Just think or me and you.

hey there,
I know what you mean about the categorizing thing, I still don't get it. But I think you got it right, it's got that lyrical flowyness to it so I guess it qualifies. Anyhoo I liked this poem, the organization was good made it look neat. The four line per stanza thing was good, you had a pattern and kept to it, you didn't go off track and you were very on point. The way you described the girl's emotions and the way the boy is afraid to admit he likes her makes the reader easily relate. Many people have been in this situation. so Bravo hun!

my favourite lines were even though the last line says 'or' when I think you meant 'for':
And I know that you love me
Just as I love you
Don't care what the world says
Just think or me and you.

Bravo! keep writing!!!
xxx Upile xxx

Hi! I like this poem, because school is all about status. How one girl likes this one guy but he's so much popular so he can't like her, or something stupid like that. I like your poem a lot, it's really nice!

First off, I noticed you had this rhyme scheme going. I could see it more in the later stanzas. If you have a rhyme scheme, then you have to keep that rhyme scheme through the entire poem.

harshita3chaarag wrote:In the first two stanzas, the rhyme scheme is ABCB.

But you kept sitting there
looked away when I caught you
I looked down and smiled to myself
Because you made it a happy day.
But the words "you" and "day" don't rhyme.

Now we're preparing for the senior's farewell
But you're dancing with a different girl
I see her enjoying and a fire rages inside me
Overwhelmed with emotion, I cry silently

Your friends don't like me a lot
Is that why you're silent?
Wondering what their reaction will be
If you confess your feelings for me?

Again, the words "silent" don't rhyme with "me". The word "be" rhymed with "me" but that would ruin the rhyme scheme. It goes the same with the words "silently" and "girl"

Don't let them stop you
They don't see what you do
They just see the clique status
So i am not right for you. Remember to capitalize the word "I".

Can't you hear my heart
It beats frantically for you
I close my eyes and see your face
You make my heart race.

"Face" and "race" rhyme, but not "race" with "you"

And I know that you love me
Just as I love you
Don't care what the world says
Just think or me and you.

If you don't want to bother with rhyme scheme, you can just write a free verse poem where you don't have a rhyme scheme. Sorry if I sounded a little harsh, but I hope I helped you!

I really like this poem, especially the last stanza. It's good, but you really should keep the rhyming thing through out the whole poem, and not just a few stanzas. I really do like it though because it's something I can relate to and feel something for as I read it. It made me remember how I felt when something like that happened to me, but it was the other way around. My friends thought I was too good for him, but in the end, love always wins. So, good job!

Hi everybody...thanks for reviewing the poem.... I would just like to say that I wasn't paying any attention on the rhyme scheme...thats why its not in all places.... But still thanks a lot for reviewing and pointing out the mistakes... :):)