Track marks

Random red runs
are scattered across my arm.
Some see it as a cry of help,
or for attention.
I was looking for escape.

You all currently have
the exact same thought.
And i'm not,
and this is not.

I don't find the world unfair,
I don't hate my parents,
I don't care about the planet,
and I have friends,
and I seem happy.

This is just not for me.

Every teen carries burdens.
Across dead hills with a grudge.
The hills I see are bleeding,
and like my arm,
covered in blood.

*No real purpose and needs a ton of work but haven't posted in a while.

hey there,
Suicide is always dramatic and I feel you captured that emotion perfectly. It is very gripping, very sad, very dramatic, like suicide should be. If I was going 'hahaha' then this would be a totally different conversation.lol. I think all in all this was good presentation, very neat and well-written. Bravo!
the first stanza moved me, that was a good way to start!
"Random red runs
are scattered across my arm.
Some see it as a cry of help,
or for attention.
I was looking for escape."
Good job.keep it up.
xxx Upile xxx

one thing......I firstly loved your poem....its very nice.... I know how it feels when life is upside down...and suicide seems to be the only escape...my friend has also attempted but God forbid nothing happened.....he one reason i love your poem...is because the way you have expressed the emotions is very captivating....I love and will keep loving everything and anything people write....keep it up...because your words are brilliant...

Hey there, Retro! :]

Random red runs
are scattered across my arm.
Some see it as a cry of help,
or for attention.
I was looking for escape. Ah, a poem about suicide/self-harm. There are quite a few of these, meaning originality is tough, as evidenced by this. The whole "People don't understand" thing is done a lot.

You all currently have
the exact same thought.
And i'm not,
and this is not. Consistency. The "I" here is not capitalized, but the preceding one was. Pick which you're going to do. However, I love this line: "And I'm not, and this is not." Lovely.

I don't find the world unfair,
I don't hate my parents,
I don't care about the planet,
and I have friends,
and I seem happy. The repetition of "and" doesn't work so well. Other than that, this is original. Because most suicide poems are almost complaining in nature. So you kind of redeem yourself from the "I cut myself" stanza.

This is just not for me.

Every teen carries burdens.
Across dead hills with a grudge.
The hills I see are bleeding,
and like my arm,
covered in blood. Well, yes, if they're bleeding then I assume they'd be covered in blood...I don't know, it just seems redundant.

My thoughts: Retro, you're a great poet. I like how you tackle darker themes. I've read other poems of yours, and they were brilliant. Maybe it's because you haven't posted in a while, but this poem lacks the...how do I say it...the je ne sais quoi your other works had. It's good, but it doesn't stand out. Maybe you should post more often. I know you're capable of great things. (You did take 2nd place in the contest I had!) This just wasn't one of them.

Keep posting!
Sporks