A Quiet Path

I don't write much poetry and what I do write I seldom like. Actually to be more honest most poetry I write I hate,which makes the fact that my teacher has always found that I'm good at interpreting poetry hilarious. This was one I had to write for my English class feel free to critique it as you please.

I really don't see any thing wrong with this. Aside from missing punctuation in some places... It has a nice rhythm and flow to it, and it was easy to imagine everything.. which I liked. I thought it was really good.

The trees have lost their green
the trees have lost their leaves
the wind blows cool again
I feel young again.I don't like the whole two agains in one sentence.

Leaves crackle beneath my feet
I march to my own secret beat
on this beaten path I feel alone
I am filled with a solitude not my own.Huh? That doesn't make sense, even in the world of mostly confusing poetry.

The sun begins to set
a burning beacon in the sky
a fireball extinguishing in the sky
warns me that the night is nigh.Still confusing.

I leave my secret forest path
solitude I no longer have
I return to the cold cruel steel
of a world that isn't real.Best stanza in the whole poem.

Okay, it was good and imaginitive, but still confusing. *Clapping*

-thestorygirl

First off, I like it! It overall flowed nicely and it displays a clear mental image. While it is a bit confusing, I think one of the main points of poetry is the specific meanings it expresses to different readers. And if for some it doesn't make sense, that's okay!

A few critiques I can make is that you might want to try adding a comma here and there, just to soften the beat a bit. And you also repeated words a few times, and to help it have a sweeter ring to it you might want to try looking for a synonym, or to try and state your point a different way? Like in,

The trees have lost their green
the trees have lost their leaves

, maybe you could change the second line around to make it more poetic?
Or in,

burning beacon in the sky
a fireball extinguishing in the sky

, perhaps if you wanted to keep the rhyme but to not repeat 'sky', you could say something like, "a fireball extinguishing that seems so high". Just a suggestion

I understand you dislike poetry, I'm just trying to be helpful ;P

Hey Daniel,
Sometimes, I can be very critical of poetry, and this is one of those times xD.

The trees have lost their green
the trees have lost their leaves The rhyme is okay, I guess you could leave it.
the wind blows cool again
I feel young again. Yeah, two "again"s bothers me a bit.

Leaves crackle beneath my feet
I march to my own secret beat I don't know what you are saying here. It seems a bit out of place in a poem that deals with sadness.
on this beaten path I feel alone
I am filled with a solitude not my own. This is a little awkward and hard to understand. I think you should reword this.

The sun begins to set
a burning beacon in the sky
a fireball extinguishing in the sky
warns me that the night is nigh. You changed your rhyme scheme here, but I guess that's not that big a deal.

I leave my secret forest path
solitude I no longer have
I return to the cold cruel steel
of a world that isn't real.

I agree with Storygirl that the last stanza is your best. I feel like your poem is a little too vague, and with some better wording in some places you can make this feel more crisp and vivid. If you have any questions, you can PM me or write on my wall.
Keep up the good work!