Is this love?

I wrote this piece specially for Valentine's Day but i got a bit late on submitting it so here it is...



There’s something in the air,
can’t you feel it?
You feel the care
in it but you don’t admit it.

Someone calls out for you.
Is it her voice?
You try to look through
as you rejoice.

But you realize it isn't her.
It’s just your inner conscience.
You always see her appear
whenever you close your eyes.

She is stuck in your mind.
All compared to her are so timid.
You are struck from behind,
by none other than cupid.

You are strangled by her thoughts.
Is it what I think it is?
Am I also listed among the crackpots?
Have I really fallen for this?

In the skies you see a dove.
An angel comes down from above.
It comes to you and gives you a shove.
"Yes son, this indeed is love."


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL(belated)
I hope you people like it....

Hey ehte,
I really love this.
First of all, your last stanza is perfect; don't change a thing.
Second, I don't really understand this pair of lines:

She is stuck in your mind.
All compared to her are so timid.

Timid? Maybe you need a different word here.
Now I know that this isn't a big deal, but if your entire poem has a rhyme scheme, you don't want to have one stanza with no rhymes.

But you realize it isn't her.
It’s just your inner conscience.
You always see her appear
whenever you close your eyes.

Were you trying to rhyme 'conscience' with 'eyes''?
But again, if you don't want to change this, it's really no big deal.
So overall, I love this piece. Keep up the great work!
-Alex

Hi there. You write poems fast xD.

Nitpicks:

You are struck from behind,
by none other than cupid.

- I don't think there should be a comma after 'behind'.

In the skies you see a dove.

- Comma after 'skies'

I actually have nothing much to say about this poem. It's simply interesting to read.

WHIR! You can't catch me.

There’s something in the air, Not sure a comma is right here...how'bout a semicolon?
can’t you feel it?
You feel the care
in it but you don’t admit it. This line doesn't really fit. I'd instead expand upon the last one. Describe the care.

Someone calls out for you.
Is it her voice?
You try to look through
as you rejoice.

But you realize it isn't her.
It’s just your inner conscience. Meh. These two lines could be much better.
You always see her appear
whenever (already implied by "always") you close your eyes.

She is stuck in your mind.
All compared to her are so timid. What? Reworkage, please.
You are struck from behind, "Struck" sounds too much like "stuck."
by none other than Cupid.

You are strangled by her thoughts.
Is it what I think it is? Naw. Think this could be better.
Am I also listed among the crackpots?
Have I really fallen for this?

In the skies you see a dove.
An angel comes down from above. Whoa, wait a second. New rhyme scheme?
It comes to you and gives you a shove. Using "come" too much. Also, the "shove" sounds a bit out of place...but that could just be me.
"Yes son, this indeed is love."

Well, I was a little grumpier this time since I'm normally not the biggest fan of love poems, but this was original enough.

-Kafka