Unreal Letters

Fingers type the words you see,
Eyes unseen read words on screen,
A message, a note, the reverberation
Of a soul left dangling to be caught
By hands across the globe.
Those mystery hearts beat
Rythyms of hope, and swell your
Love pain till you seem to choke.
The day comes that the inbox is
Empty and chill, the tears come
But there is no one to hear
Because you are alone
With your keyboard
As you discover
It wasn’t
Real.

As a general synopsis, this is a great overview of the alienation that can be created from an ever separating and dividing world, that is in terms of media and communication. It's a taste, a flavor of the attempt and the addicting content of your desire, but a quick shot of the addiction coming and the reliance, and the emptiness.

Fingers type the words you see,
Eyes unseen read words on screen,
A message, a note, the reverberation

"fingers type" hm. That's a bit too obvious for yourself and the reader. You don't have to smack people with description, but you shouldn't sacrifice a chance to make people see typed letters (like these) as something different. The same applies for the second line, which is familiar and relate-able, but is it giving an impression? Well we'll find out in a little bit. As for the third line, this is a curious placement that leads into the fourth...but again try and go deeper into what this is. You and I are clearly aware the letters on her transmit meaning, but you could argue books could inspire the same feeling you've depicted here. Fear not though, you've done something very pivotal here that I'll explain at the end of the review.

Of a soul left dangling to be caught
By hands across the globe.

Right! Yes, again that's the point, but pull it out more! One could travel abroad and live somewhere else and feel the same. Nonetheless, I like your description and action.

Those mystery hearts beat
Rythyms of hope, and swell your
Love pain till you seem to choke.

Hm, hearts? Beat is next to it as well. That's an odd combination by each other in respect to what's been mentioned (it's obvious hearts are part of the equation, sort of like saying I saw the red wall and it was tall and wide, and it was a bright red wall; ok maybe that makes no sense!), and seems a tad too cliche. I want to read it differently, heart's, those, beat...something about the word choice makes me wonder if you could find another way to say that. My main problem with heart is that you use love later, and it makes me feel like I've read it already. Monotony.

The day comes that the inbox is
Empty and chill, the tears come
But there is no one to hear

This is the only part of the poem with an odd transition. I get the impression the love was also half-baked and un-fulfilling and desired to be more, but that didn't happen, even if it brought comfort. Then it's just gone? I mean...I do understand this. The not knowing, uncertainty, and people just forgetting or leaving, however, inbox is a sudden insertion that implies a specific thing online and the letters usage before was universal. Also, we hardly get a feeling of what the false, empty feeling brought.

One other thing, avoid, avoid, avoid physical real world feelings. We want to delve into this unforgiving, foreign frightening experience of online romance. How does it just f*** with our mind?

Because you are alone
With your keyboard
As you discover
It wasn’t
Real.

This is perfect. And justifies to an extent the title. And also why you must, MUST focus on the aspect of letters. That's your saving grace.

So yes, what did you do well you might think (I mean god, that jerk MMM just criticized me to no end), and I'll say you did two things very well. First, Rhythm (was your misspelling intentional? if not, it's cool it's an annoying word) is quite well done and carried through. Secondly, you have a metaphor and a conceit that can be a pun and more. Letters. Think about that, there is real potential there if you can access it. Hope this helps! Thanks for humoring me too Wolf.

Wow. I love this. Short review, sorry. But it's real. Not fake.

Fingers type the words you see,
Eyes unseen read words on screen, These first two lines were gorgeous in a minimalistic sense.
A message, a note, the reverberation
Of a soul left dangling to be caught
By hands across the globe. I would suggest that a different world be used in place of "globe". It just seems out of place and upsets the flow, in my opinion.
Those mystery hearts beat
Rythyms of hope, and swell your
Love pain till you seem to choke.
The day comes that the inbox is
Empty and chill, the tears come
But there is no one to hear
Because you are alone
With your keyboard
As you discover
It wasn’t
Real.

Overall, I adored the poem. It was gorgeous and it kept getting better each time I read it. I think one of my favorite things is how you ended the poem in a descending line structure. It added to the feel of the poem and I doubt it would have the same affect if it had been done the "right" way. Very well done. I can't find anything to really say needs much changing besides what I already have. Keep up the good work!

At first, I'll admit, I was a bit confused by this poem. But then I read it again, and it made so much more sense. I enjoyed this poem. it speaks the truth, and I love the way you described it. I think many people can't relate to the meaning, but I somehow can understand the emotion. Thank you.

Empty and chill, the tears come
But there is no one to hear
Because you are alone
With your keyboard
As you discover
It wasn’t
Real.

I loved this part