Mermaid

This is just a triplet I wrote in a poetry class. Enjoy.

Mermaid

She glistens in the water
As she dances about the sea
A flip in the air as she twirls her hair,

She's such a sight to see.
They smile and applaud,
The waves laugh though the birds cry

She looks in their eyes
As she flashes a grin
They soar in the air

While she watches in vain, secretly.
In formation they fly,
And she's dying inside.

Dying to fly
Not only to dance
To see all the world,

Not only the waters.
They envy her beauty,
Her grace and shine

But neither will win,
Not to fly nor to dance,
Only Fate decides.

This was a good poem and it flowed very nicely, one thing that you should work on is giving more details or insight into what is happening in the poem because it is a bit unclear. I liked the way this poem did not rythme but still flowed nicely, try to edit this to make the point of it stand out more clearly and if you do edit it don't hesitate to mesage me to read the edited version and I will give my feedback.
Peace,
Snickerdooly

*agrees with above said * I love your detail and visual reperesntation in this. i can see the images clearly in my mind.