Green

This is rough and spur of the moment, but tell me what you think!


Green is the edge of grass, shooting up in spring
green is the color of my finger
when I wear my favorite ring.
Green can show my mood
when you look into my eyes
or the color of my face
when my neighbor's in the nude.
It's the piece of spinach
Lodged between your teeth
or the glob of toe jam
hiding underneath.
You'll find it on a catter-bug
or on the Christmas lights
it's scattered on the casserole
left over five too many nights.
G because it's gooy
R because it's ripe
E because it's Eerie twice
Nesting in the pipes.

I LOVED this poem. All except for one part. You broke your rhyming scheme!

Butterfinger wrote:
Green is the edge of grass, shooting up in spring
green is the color of my finger
when I wear my favorite ring.
.

This part is prefect. But THIS part...

Butterfinger wrote:Green can show my mood
when you look into my eyes
or the color of my face
when my neighbor's in the nude.
.

This part breaks it. Where it says "Face"... That should be rhyming with "Mood". The rhyme for "mood" (A.K.A. "Nude") is at a line that's too far down! This poem would be SO great if you fixed that part.


My favorite part was probably the end, even though it doesn't follow the rhyming pattern.

Butterfinger wrote:G because it's gooy
R because it's ripe
E because it's Eerie twice
Nesting in the pipes.

Speaking of rhyming pattern... You went from rhyming the end of the first line with the third line, to rhyming the second line with the fourth half way through the poem. That would improve the poem if you fixed that as well. Your rhyming pattern should stay consistant throughout the poem unless you were to add more of the orginal rhyming pattern in at the end.
i.e.
a
b
a
b

b
a
b
a

a
b
a
b

Does that make sense?

xoxo,
Kiicoh.

Hello there,

Green is the edge of grass, shooting up in springa very good start
green is the color of my finger
when I wear my favorite ring.
Green can show my mood
when you look into my eyes
or the color of my face
when my neighbor's in the nude.when my neighbor's nude
It's the piece of spinach
lodged between your teeth
or the glob of toe jam
hiding underneath.
You'll find it on a catter-bugcatter-bug sounds odd.
or on the Christmas lights
it's scattered on the casserolescattered on the casserole.
left over five too many nights.
G because it's gooygooey
R because it's ripe
E because it's Eerie twice
Nesting in the pipes.

Loved this piece a lot. All poems have ups and downs except for some that is.
It was quite good especially the ending part. If you edit it and modify, it would turn out even better.
Keep up the good work.
PM me for anything.

I liked it. Green is my second favourite colour. Anyways I loved the end the best. Keep writing!