Kerosene Kisses

3 posts
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Gender Male
Points 300
Reviews 0
So off you go
all proud and gay.
You wave all her
trouble away.

Your smile warms
her worried soul,
as she looks out upon
the June afternoon.

A month later,
there has been an attack.
She becomes addicted to
the news; every paper
is like taking heroine.

The news finally release
that two have died over there.
But which two?

A month goes by
and she hears nothing.
The world has moved
on and the families have
been notified, on the events.

She sits by her faded photo's
and thinks of the time before it all.
Before you went and left her.

Weeks pass and another attack.
This time you were not so lucky.

She now sits and weeps
over long lost time.
Over you, who sleeps in foreign soil.
She watches twilight stars,
come and go for weeks.

She goes to your youth.
She sleeps in your old
truck, and wraps herself
in the smeel of kerosene.
She remembers what you
used to say when you kissed there.

They were Kerosene kisses.

A year later,
and you're gone for sure.
No more sweet June afternoons,
or cold winter mornings.
Just an emptiness inside,
and a want,
for kerosene kisses.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1014
Reviews 14
I absolutely love concept. It is great. Make a few ajustments here and there. For example, some of the rhymes seemed a little forced, and the flow of the lines and punctuations are a little off. But over all great work.
If life gives you lemons.................make beef stew!!!
If someone is taller than you............stand on something so you can punch them! lol thats an inside joke so if you don't get sorry.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2794
Reviews 38
AAHHHH!! I LOVED IT!! good job buddy!

well i must say that at first it was hard for me to understand how it was suppose to flow, but after i just started to read it like a story it went much better ( not sure if that's what you were going for )

only one nitpicky thing i could see truck, and wraps herself in the smeel of kerosene. it's SMELL not SMEEL hehe

anyway brilliant job i love the concept and everything about it.
The talent of an amazing writer, they can convey any emotion, make you feel thing's you've never felt, and help you understand that which you thought you never would.

"Not all who wander are lost."
Tolkien



Stupid risks make life worth living.
— Homer Simpson