What more is there to say? Every single line was perfectly structured, you had enticing imagery, and wonderful language. Bob, you should always be in a good mood!
"I will have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul..." --Mr. Darcy, P & P, 2005 movie
"You pierce my soul." --Cpt. Frederick Wentworth
Bob - Je parle français pour dix ans, donc, je comprendre. Mais votre phrase en français a tort. Peut-être, direz: ce n'est pas Paris, mais ma dame d'amour.
Basically, your sentence construction is wrong. In French, subjects and adjectives are often switched from where they are in English, which confuses many people attempting to learn French. Part of the reason I didn't understand "dame" is because normally when you say woman, you say "femme." Dame is a much older version. So you could even say "ma femme d'amour." That's probably the most correct thing to say in this case: "Ce n'est pas Paris, mais ma femme d'amour."
In fact, a little more advanced construction would be to say "mon amante," meaning lover. But that's getting nit-picky.
"Artichoke -
O heart weighed down by so many wings."
- Joseph Hutchison
Cic: yep, I know it's old and bad French; the point was something like the first line being a ridiculously cliche poetic line ('meeting someone under the clock tower') - it's not a beautiful day and it's not good poetry and it's not good French because it's not Paris! Hopefully that's something people will grasp reading it.
I wondered why we put villains in our stories when we have plenty of them in real life; then I realized that maybe we wanted stories where the good guy wins. — nogutsnoglory
Well done Bob !
