Spoiler
"I can't believe you actually brought me here!" I exclaim to Mom, slamming the door or our 1999 Honda Odessy shut.
"It was your birthday, Karia!" Mom replied, chuckling.
"Yea, but a Find N' Keep Fantasy Emporium?! You know, they have dragons here!" I looked at the huge, glass building in awe.
"Then catch one. Why don't you want a Gryphon?"
"Oh. I've wasted 10 shots of Gryphons at an old emporium. They are only caught for experienced Masters." I explained, my emotions falling.
"Well, let's go." She urged. I nodded, sprinting to the doors.
"Wait up!" My little sister, Amily, exclaimed. I let them both go in front of me, before charging in myself.
It was paradise. Flowers bloomed everywhere, almost any color. Trees provided shade anywhere I went. A counter stood in front of me with a bored-looking employee behind it.
"We have a GOLDEN ticket for me!" I exclaimed to him. He sighed.
"Show me." He said in a bored, mundane voice. Mom gave him the flashy gold ticket.
"Card." I handed it over. My card held my Imprent, or my specialized sing that this Creature was mine. It also held ,y captured Creatures.
"What Creature do you want to walk with you?" He asked.
"Hm... Bring out Phoenix." I commanded. He put the card under a contraption. It had a scanner, like a grocery scanner attached to it. The actual device was like a computer, but the screen was a huge tube. I mean huge as in the size of a baby elephant. He scanned my card and typed in 'Phoenix:49204:Male'
My Phoenix appeared in the tube before flying out, onto my arm.
"Here. You have 50 shots." He handed over a golden gun. It looked much like a flare gun; except it shot red beams of light. The end of my card was peeking out the back, closest to me. "Go on through."
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"It was your birthday, Karia!" Mom replied, chuckling.
"Yea, but a Find N' Keep Fantasy Emporium?! You know, they have dragons here!" I looked at the huge, glass building in awe.
"Then catch one. Why don't you want a Gryphon?"
"Oh. I've wasted 10 shots of Gryphons at an old emporium. They are only caught for experienced Masters." I explained, my emotions falling.
"Well, let's go." She urged. I nodded, sprinting to the doors.
"Wait up!" My little sister, Amily, exclaimed. I let them both go in front of me, before charging in myself.
It was paradise. Flowers bloomed everywhere, almost any color. Trees provided shade anywhere I went. A counter stood in front of me with a bored-looking employee behind it.
"We have a GOLDEN ticket for me!" I exclaimed to him. He sighed.
"Show me." He said in a bored, mundane voice. Mom gave him the flashy gold ticket.
"Card." I handed it over. My card held my Imprent, or my specialized sing that this Creature was mine. It also held ,y captured Creatures.
"What Creature do you want to walk with you?" He asked.
"Hm... Bring out Phoenix." I commanded. He put the card under a contraption. It had a scanner, like a grocery scanner attached to it. The actual device was like a computer, but the screen was a huge tube. I mean huge as in the size of a baby elephant. He scanned my card and typed in 'Phoenix:49204:Male'
My Phoenix appeared in the tube before flying out, onto my arm.
"Here. You have 50 shots." He handed over a golden gun. It looked much like a flare gun; except it shot red beams of light. The end of my card was peeking out the back, closest to me. "Go on through."
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
I crouched in the grass, stalking the marble-colored dragon. My Phoenix waddled behind me. The dragon was small, about the size of my head. He was powerful, though. I say him take out a newb before. But I was no newb.
I was withing five feet of the spectacular Creature.
"Pheonix, go!" I yelled. Behind me, in a blaze of orange and red, the Phoenix charged at the dragon. They tangled, and I stood with my gun, ready to shoot. There!
"Phoenix, back!" I shrieked as I pulled the trigger. The crimson beam of light hit the dragon direct on the forehead. It struggled from the beam's grasp. No, no, no! The Dragon broke free of my light, running away.
"GGGRRRAAAWWWWRRRR!!!" Sounded from behind me. I turned to see a Dinosaur the size of Texas standing behind me, angry. Phoenix flew away, squeaking.
"No, Phoenix!" I yelled.
"RRRARRG!" The dinosaur thundered. I quickly began to run, dirt rising in my path. Please, please let me get away! I tripped on a root, skidding under a rock's shadow.
"SQUAKERAS!" Came from the rock. I quickly peered around; on the rock stood the most magnificent Creature I have ever seen. It was black with gold stripes dancing all over it.
It was a Gryphon.
The Gryphon was dwarfed compared to the dinosaur. In a flurry of wings, the two Creatures met. Claws and teeth showed in the mess. Silver liquid- blood- sprinkled onto the ground. I didn't even try to stop crying. The Gryphon was going to be killed!
With a mighty shriek, the Dinosaur fell.The Gryphon stood over it, triumphant. It glanced at me curiously.
"T-T-thank you, Gryphon." I mumbled. It waddled over to me.
I put my hand up, trying to touch it. Hissing, the Gryphon flew off. A single black and gold feather lay on the floor. I quickly picked it up, brushed it off, and put it in my pocket.
I will never forget the Gryphon that saved my life.
only fault is the speech ( I would put a link but I really can't be bothered) but basically eventhough you put a full stop the it or she or whatever afterwards doesn't have a capital letter. Other than that I thought it was fantastic 
