The Begining

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Basically, I have created a World inwhich most of my stories in Fantasy and Sci-Fi will take place. This is it's very birth. Enjoy, review, nitpick.
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I. Terrabyss

In the dark, endless void, there was a flash. Sparks of magic and energy snapped and crackled in all of the darkness. Something was being created, as if a celestial artist was wielding a paint brush over his blank canvas, creating something beutiful, or a naughty child drawing on the living room wall when mother isn't looking.
Out from this cacophany of colour slowly came masses of hills and countryside, growing and shaping into their own space. Atop the tallest of the hills, facing the Great Sea, the newly built Palace of Terrabyss, which glittered in the sunlight.
Inside, each and every of the countless rooms were contourting themselves into shape, oaken panels growing from the walls, as did furniture of every variety from the very floors, with whizzes, pops and snatches of music so beutiful, man or God would be deafend at their sweet sound. Chandeliers of such beuty appeared on the ceilings, things of such craftmanship, that even the most skilled would weep at their sight.
Outside, rivers formed and glistend, blossom filled the air with a rich scent and the meadows filled with wild flowers, inwhich bees buzzed with the rapture tat only life can bring. The Formation of this world became ever slower, and with a final creak the last of the trees were formed. Time passed lovingly over the land of Terrabyss. The whole place filled with bird song and leaves blew in the breeze, over the ever perfect grass as the waves of the Great Ocean sloshed on to the shore which lay behind the Palace.

II. The Coming Of The Gods.

One day, after many moons, something happend that would change the land of Terrabyss forever. The whole of this world was created by a ancient and lingering magic which even the most powerful of beings could never comprehend and it is this magic that brings great change to things.
'Twas a day of spring when the first came to being. There was a heavy blossom in the air, which blew into great heaps all over the kingdom. One of these heaps began to move and fizz in many colours, some of which were impossibe to see, until the heap took the shape of a woman and thus came the radient Goddess, Lady Spring. She looked around herself and smiled. And so she frolicked in the hills and pastures of Terrabyss. She built a home for herself from sticks and foilage which she found in the Forests, for she had no room in her heart for stone and mortar, such was the Palace.
Many days passed over the land. Lady Spring was braiding her hair in one of the many pastures of wild flowers. She looked up to the sky and saw that a great flare had broke from the sun and was falling to earth. She jumped back when it landed, creating an Abyss in the middle of the pasture. She stood there, shocked at the events unfolding infront of her devine eyes.
From the Abyss clamboured an old man, with oxen antlers, for this was Lord Summer, Keeper of the Warmth and son of the sun. They drank thier wine and he danced to the Lady's lyre all through the summer months. Then came the autumn of the year, when the wind wuthers and blows poor leaves from their branches, tossig them aside towards the sea. When they landed on the shore of the Great Ocean, the curious Ocean picked them up and took them close to the dank mists of the Beyond. There they sank, the water boiling where they did so and there emurged the Sea Woman and Mother Autumn, hauling themselve onto the shore. There they gazed upon the structure of the Palace. Mother Autumn, so taken by curiosity walked toward it, the Sea Woman following closly.

III.Lord Summer and Mother Autumn.

Once, in deepest winter, when even Lady Spring has to vacte to the Palace for the cold, Lord Summer of the oxen horns was walking through one of the galleries of the Palace when he came across Mother Autumn, looking out of one of the wide windows, out to sea.
Lord Summer sat next to her and soon enough, they fell fo each other. This lasted for many weeks, until, one day, they went outside, into the blizzards and watched the glaciers as they crawled their way across the landscape, like vast overwieght creatures of ice and snow. Even as they watched, the blizzard gotten worse, and soon they had to find shelter from the oncoming storm. The two Gods found a cave, sheltered and remote.
By this time, the love they shared had turned into a raging inferno inside their hearts. They made love in that cave a,d, due to the nature of the Gods, Mother Autumn gave birth the following morn' to a goddess they decided to call Mistress Winter, after the season inwhich she was brought into the world. Winter had a brother also, whom was called Famos, Shepard of the Tarrabyssian sheep, which roamed the top parts of the great Mountains and were seldom seen, by man or God.

IIII The Creation of the World

And so the Gods had decended upon the land of Terrabyss and populated it with creatures of their own design. Fawns and centaurs inhabited the forests and wooded areas, and the seas were filled with many a fish. Ents, those mysterious creatures, sculked in the mountains and forests, taking care of all things, animal or lost God.
One night, when the Gods were feasting in the Great Halls, a thunderous voice cracked it's way through the Terrabyssian Halls.
"I am the Writer", it rumbled,"I created this world and all of you".
The Gods looked perplexed.
"Don't fret, Gods of Terrabyss, I bring...no harm. I wish for you to do something...for me". The Writer's voice grew fainter this each utterance.
"What, O disembodied one?" enquired Farmos, husband of Lady Spring, father of Intel, God of Invention.
"...I want you to...create a World for...me, which each of...you will have claim. You...will then populate...the World and...rule it with justice and integrety"
And, with that statement, the Writer's voice faded away, leaving the Gods to debate. Lady Spring designed the World, and Farmos, with Intel's help, carved it from the four elements, fire from the Sun, water from the Great Ocean, rock from the Mountains and air, collected in a jar by Mistress Winter. When the shell was created, Intel forged the clockwork heart of the World, and placed it inside. Slowly, the World started spinning, until the ticking of the machine heart was a continuous screech and lo, the World was created.
Then, the sqabbling began. The Gods argued over what the beings of the World would look like. God turned on God in a bitter rivalry, until one had the courage to speak.
"Why do we no make them like us?" the Sea Woman asked. For the first time in many centuries, the Gods became quiet.

"What? Make more Gods?!" exclaimed hot headed Lord Summer.

"No", said Intel, "Make them mortal, powerless. Make them look like us, but not like us"
So it was that Intel designed the beings that would populate the World. Lord Summer gathered the clay from the rivers and Mother Autumn baked the shapes she built in the great ovens under the Palace, each as big as a chess piece. She passed them to Lady Winter, who gingerly placed them onto the World, beathing life into them. As time went on, animals started to move on to the World and Lady Spring was shocked to see that five of her Ents also joined them, leaving only two. She mourned for many days.

V. Nomos and Physis

When the Gods created what they called "the people" of the World, they had accidentally created something else entirly. From beyond the Great Mists came a small vessel, carrying two small children, wearing masks. The first of the Gods to spot these two ungainly people was the Sea Woman, who was picking shells along the sands for Lady Spring, who was still in mourning for the loss of the Ents.
When she did spot the masked children, she greeted them warmly, for she was kinder in those times, before the people spoilt her domain.
"We wish to see the Gods, Sea Woman", stated one, flatly. She took them to the Palace, not fully knowing why. When the Gods had all assembled in the Banqueting Hall, only then the child spoke again.
"I am Nomos", it whispered,"Nomos of Reason. This", he gestured to the other,"is Physis, of Discord. We have come to judge the people"
"Why?" asked Lord Summer, fearing that the two children maybe here to destroy their
creation.
"When one of them dies, what happens to them?" asked Nomos, ignoring Physisgourging on the table.
"They come back to us", answered Lady Spring.
"What if they have been unkind toyou?"
"They come back to us", repeted lady Spring.
"Which is why they need judging"" squealed Physis, springing crumbs from from it's mouth and onto the table.
"You need not worry, immortal Terrabyssians, we shall make the rules and laws of, ahem, humankind. Our laws will be fair".

[center]VI. Epilogue[center]
So the World was created and the Gods rule over it justly, new Gods are created by man and, as time progresses, things always change, may it be for the better, or for the worse, such is how the World works.
"Madness rides the Star wind"

HP Lovecraft. Ironic, no?




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I joined this story a lot. It's like your own version on the Greek or Roman gods and I always enjoyed their stories. :] I found a few misspellings and a few things that I have to ask. The mispelling corrections will be in red, the original in italics, and the questions in blue, sentence I'm questioning will be bolded. Things I like will be in green :D. Though, when I read this the first time, you used a "u" in color, which made me think you must be British. So please ignore an spelling corrections on word that are spelled right to you. :]

"I. Terrabyss <---I love the name! Does it mean something?

In the dark, endless void, there was a flash. Sparks of magic and energy snapped and crackled in all of the darkness. Something was being created, as if a celestial artist was wielding a paint brush over his blank canvas, creating something beutiful beautiful, or a naughty child drawing on the living room wall when mother isn't looking.<---I don't understand. How is something amazing related to a naughty child? Excitement?
Out from this cacophany of colour slowly came masses of hills and countryside, growing and shaping into their own space. Atop the tallest of the hills, facing the Great Sea, the newly built Palace of Terrabyss, which glittered in the sunlight.
Inside, each and every of the countless rooms were contourting themselves into shape, oaken panels growing from the walls, as did furniture of every variety from the very floors, with whizzes, pops and snatches of music so beutiful, man or God would be deafend at their sweet sound. Chandeliers of such beuty appeared on the ceilings, things of such craftmanship, that even the most skilled would weep at their sight.
Outside, rivers formed and glistend, blossom filled the air with a rich scent and the meadows filled with wild flowers, inwhich bees buzzed with the rapture tat only life can bring. The Formation of this world became ever slower, and with a final creak the last of the trees were formed. Time passed lovingly over the land of Terrabyss. The whole place filled with bird song and leaves blew in the breeze, over the ever perfect grass as the waves of the Great Ocean sloshed on to the shore which lay behind the Palace. <----You explained the creation of Terrabyss very well!

II. The Coming Of The Gods.

One day, after many moons, something happend that would change the land of Terrabyss forever. The whole of this world was created by a ancient and lingering magic which even the most powerful of beings could never comprehend and it is this magic that brings great change to things.
'Twas a day of spring when the first came to being. There was a heavy blossom in the air, which blew into great heaps all over the kingdom. One of these heaps began to move and fizz in many colours, some of which were impossibe to see, until the heap took the shape of a woman and thus came the radient Goddess, Lady Spring. She looked around herself and smiled. And so she frolicked in the hills and pastures of Terrabyss. She built a home for herself from sticks and foilage which she found in the Forests, for she had no room in her heart for stone and mortar, such was the Palace.
Many days passed over the land. Lady Spring was braiding her hair in one of the many pastures of wild flowers. She looked up to the sky and saw that a great flare had broke from the sun and was falling to earth. She jumped back when it landed, creating an Abyss in the middle of the pasture. She stood there, shocked at the events unfolding infront of her devine eyes.
From the Abyss clamboured an old man, with oxen antlers, for this was Lord Summer, Keeper of the Warmth and son of the sun. They drank thier their wine and he danced to the Lady's lyre all through the summer months. Then came the autumn of the year, when the wind wuthers withers? and blows poor leaves from their branches, tossig tossing them aside towards the sea. When they landed on the shore of the Great Ocean, the curious Ocean picked them up and took them close to the dank mists of the Beyond. There they sank, the water boiling where they did so and there emurged emerged the Sea Woman and Mother Autumn, hauling themselve onto the shore. There they gazed upon the structure of the Palace. Mother Autumn, so taken by curiosity walked toward it, the Sea Woman following closly. <---This was all very amazing and creative!

III.Lord Summer and Mother Autumn.

Once, in deepest winter, when even Lady Spring has to vacte vacate to the Palace for the cold, Lord Summer of the oxen horns You explained this about him already was walking through one of the galleries of the Palace when he came across Mother Autumn, looking out of one of the wide windows, out to sea.
Lord Summer sat next to her and soon enough, they fell fo each other. This lasted for many weeks, until, one day, they went outside, into the blizzards and watched the glaciers as they crawled their way across the landscape, like vast overwieght creatures of ice and snow. Even as they watched, the blizzard gotten worse, and soon they had to find shelter from the oncoming storm. The two Gods found a cave, sheltered and remote.
By this time, the love they shared had turned into a raging inferno inside their hearts. They made love in that cave a,d and, due to the nature of the Gods, Mother Autumn gave birth the following morn' to a goddess they decided to call Mistress Winter, after the season inwhich in which she was brought into the world. Winter had a brother also, whom was called Famos, Shepard of the Tarrabyssian sheep, which roamed the top parts of the great Mountains and were seldom seen, by man or God.

IIII The Creation of the World

And so the Gods had decended upon the land of Terrabyss and populated it with creatures of their own design. Fawns and centaurs inhabited the forests and wooded areas, and the seas were filled with many a Doesn't need to be there fish. Ents, those mysterious creatures, sculked in the mountains and forests, taking care of all things, animal or lost God. Can you explain a little more about them, even though they are mysterious?
One night, when the Gods were feasting in the Great Halls, a thunderous voice cracked it's way through the Terrabyssian Halls.
"I am the Writer", it rumbled,"I created this world and all of you".
The Gods looked perplexed.
"Don't fret, Gods of Terrabyss, I bring...no harm. I wish for you to do something...for me". The Writer's voice grew fainter this each utterance.
"What, O disembodied one?" enquired Farmos, husband of Lady Spring, father of Intel, God of Invention.
"...I want you to...create a World for...me, which each of...you will have claim. You...will then populate...the World and...rule it with justice and integrety"
And, with that statement, the Writer's voice faded away, leaving the Gods to debate. Lady Spring designed the World, and Farmos, with Intel's help, carved it from the four elements, fire from the Sun, water from the Great Ocean, rock from the Mountains and air, collected in a jar by Mistress Winter. When the shell was created, Intel forged the clockwork heart of the World, and placed it inside. Slowly, the World started spinning, until the ticking of the machine heart was a continuous screech and lo, the World was created.
Then, the sqabbling squabbling began. The Gods argued over what the beings of the World would look like. God turned on God in a bitter rivalry, until one had the courage to speak.
"Why do we no make them like us?" the Sea Woman asked. For the first time in many centuries, the Gods became quiet.

"What? Make more Gods?!" exclaimed hot headed Lord Summer.

"No", said Intel, "Make them mortal, powerless. Make them look like us, but not like us"
So it was that Intel designed the beings that would populate the World. Lord Summer gathered the clay from the rivers and Mother Autumn baked the shapes she built in the great ovens under the Palace, each as big as a chess piece. She passed them to Lady Winter, who gingerly placed them onto the World, beathing life into them. As time went on, animals started to move on to the World and Lady Spring was shocked to see that five of her Ents also joined them, leaving only two. She mourned for many days.<---This is why I would like to know more about the Ents. Why are they so special to her?

V. Nomos and Physis

When the Gods created what they called "the people" of the World, they had accidentally created something else entirly entirely. From beyond the Great Mists came a small vessel, carrying two small children, wearing masks. The first of the Gods to spot these two ungainly people was the Sea Woman, who was picking shells along the sands for Lady Spring, who was still in mourning for the loss of the Ents.
When she did spot the masked children, she greeted them warmly, for she was kinder in those times, before the people spoilt her domain.
"We wish to see the Gods, Sea Woman", stated one, flatly. She took them to the Palace, not fully knowing why.<--She doesn't know why? Was she controlled? When the Gods had all assembled in the Banqueting Hall, only then the child spoke again.
"I am Nomos", it whispered,"Nomos of Reason. This", he gestured to the other,"is Physis, of Discord. We have come to judge the people"
"Why?" asked Lord Summer, fearing that the two children maybe here to destroy their
creation.
"When one of them dies, what happens to them?" asked Nomos, ignoring Physisgourging Forgot the space :P on the table.
"They come back to us", answered Lady Spring.
"What if they have been unkind toyou Forgot the space?"
"They come back to us", repeted lady Spring.
"Which is why they need judging"" squealed Physis, springing crumbs from from it's mouth and onto the table.
"You need not worry, immortal Terrabyssians, we shall make the rules and laws of, ahem, humankind. Our laws will be fair".

[center]VI. Epilogue[center]
So the World was created and the Gods rule over it justly, new Gods are created by man and, as time progresses, things always change, may it be for the better, or for the worse, such is how the World works."

In all, I love it! It was an amazing read! :D I wouldn't mind hearing more about these Gods. You should created another part to it. :] Wonderful job and I hoped I helped in some way.
“I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters that I am not. I write to explore all the things I’m afraid of. ”―Joss Whedon

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”―Toni Morrison




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I like this. It's a pretty interesting creation story. I loved that part with "the Writer", very creative. :D This sounds like a really interesting world.
This story had a lot of typos, though. I'd really recommend using spellcheck and thoroughly editing before posting something. It also helps cut down on any awkward phrasing and other things that need to be worked out. This was pretty excellent for a first draft though. Also, "begining" is actually spelled beginning.
The imagery at the start of the story was lovely. Though one thing did bother me:

Something was being created, as if a celestial artist was wielding a paint brush over his blank canvas, creating something beutiful, or a naughty child drawing on the living room wall when mother isn't looking.

This statement is really contrasting. I'd either clarify how the creation is both beautiful and naughty at the same time. The part about the naughty child really contrasts the rest of the scene.

I really like part IIII (VI?). It sets up the start of the world very well. I also love how the creator is called "The Writer". Breaking into the fourth wall, are we? xD

Continue writing about Terrabyss, you've got a good, solid start! :D




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Thank you for the comments. Subzero, about the repetiton of "...of the oxen horns", in the Greek classics they did this quite a lot, infact I think it's known as an "epithet" (reason on how I know: I study classics). With the Sea Woman being more or less controled by Nomos is because the forces of reasoning in Greek Society were known as "nomos" and discord, "Physis". They belived that these two forces were really powerful, so I characterised Nomos as being very powerful indeed. To answer the question of the meaning of the name "Terrabyss", I made it up. But, in a couple of my stories already it is mentioned as the "Land of the Dead", with Lord Summer's abyss (as seen in part II) effectivly being Hell (In "Lucifer's Gold", the Sea Women casts the crew of the ship there for their insults). I hope that cleared up a few things and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
And November, yes, I sorta am breaking into the fourth wall,

With all due respect,

skutter11
"Madness rides the Star wind"

HP Lovecraft. Ironic, no?




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I absolutely loved this. I'm a huge fan of Ancient Mythology and this was wonderfully written. I would have loved to see the Gods developed a bit more. Are they each strictly allegorically set as the season or force that they are so named after or are they frivolous like the gods of the Greeks? Maybe you'll answer those questions in a later story from this setting. I also liked how you developed the last two characters (I'm not looking at the piece and I'd rather not butcher their names). It was a wonderful play on the opposing personalities that seemed to operate as one force. Overall it was highly entertaining to read and I can't wait to read more.
If all the world's a stage...then everything is a lie, an act, a work of tangible genius.



If food is poetry, is not poetry also food?
— Joyce Carol Oates