Someday

This is about my boyfriend who will be moving soon.... I really want to give it to him before he leaves. So rip it apart! (: It has to be as perfect as it can be. <3


I had my first kiss
But I never would have thought
That it would be our last

As you hold me close
The stars glimmering above
I don't ever want to let go

You tell me
You'll never forget me
That you love me

But someday
I'll just be an old memory
A faded blur

Someday
You'll just be a face
Hidden in the back of my mind

But for now
At this pitiful age
I cannot stop you leaving

So for now
I will hold you
For as long as I can

This poem had bittersweet written all over it. I love it and I'm sure your boyfriend will love it! I'm sad for you though and I hope you will feel better soon about the situation :,]

I had my first kiss
But I never would have thought
That it would be our last

As you hold me close
The stars glimmering above
I don't ever want to let go

You tell me
You'll never forget me
That you love me

But someday
I'll just be an old memory
A faded blur

Someday
You'll just be a face
Hidden in the back of my mind

But for now
At this pitiful age
We cannot stop you leaving<---I would think, since the poem is about your feelings, that "We" would be "I" instead.

So for now
I will hold you
For as long as I can

Aww, this peace is so sad. i loved it though. i just wish it was a little longer, you really left me hanging and wanting more. what loved was the way you put you feelings out there in a way so that the reader is able to feel what you are feeling, and do not worry i am sure you and you bf will see each other again!

I really liked your peice, and i hope that you feel better soon! The ending, with the blurs and the back of the mind was my favorite part, even though it was sad. it made the closing all the more important, because although you might forget each other for that moment you feel like it will last for ever. I also really liked the way you began the poem, because it gives the reader an immeidiate feel of mood, time, and story line. I bet your boyfreind will love it.

This is very bittersweet and emotional, and very well written. If I were your boyfriend I'd love to be given it! I'm sure he'll be able to relate to it, and a lot of other people would be able to relate to it, too. You repeat "for now" at the end, so you might want to change one of those to something different. That's all I can find to change though, so well done, hope he likes it!