Cyborg 3: Human

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Superhuman.
Civilization.
Nature's
Salvation:
Us.

Life.
Redefined.
We have been
Designed.
To thrive.
To die.
To start over.

Skyscrapers.
Metropolis.
Binary tree.
Necropolis.
We have deleted and
Taken their place.

Organic.
Revolution.
Disable.
Evolution.
Warning!
Critical battery life.

Humans
Serve.
We
Preserve.
Insert shape: circle.

Encountered.
Error.
Detected.
Terror.
Source unknown.
Shutting down....
Last edited by Kafkaescence on Fri Feb 11, 2011 2:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
#TNT

WRFF




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Good way to complete the series (I'm assuming this is your last one - if not, sorry about that :P).

Something about this poem reminds me of one of my favorite books, called "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley. I'm not sure if you've ever read it, but either way, it's a pretty awesome book. This poem just sort of made me think of it, with the machines taking over the humans, and the last stanza. failed utopia, almost.

Awesome work, as always. :)




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Again, your grasp of structure impresses me. Normally I intensely dislike full-stop-heavy poems, especially when coupled with such short linebreaks, because they are so abrupt and disjointed, but you used that effect to great effect here. It really felt quite robotic, which fit perfectly and really added a lot to this piece.

Now, there were a couple of lines I think could use some work:

Binary tree.
Necropolis.

The flow felt disrupted here due to "Necropolis."

Overall though, I quite enjoyed reading this, much to my surprise.

Is it ours?

Here you have a complete, structured thought whereas the rest of the poem is lacking such. It doesn't fit. Just a simple "Ours?" would probably work best.
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There are no chickens in Hyrule.
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