We Are Alone-Edit #1!

Very rough draft of a poem-wrote in ten minutes...Any thoughts?
Edit Numero Uno!

When I was young
I felt isolated
Because I understood
Why the plants depart
In winter
And return again
When the world weeps

My mother
Never reads the paper
Life is busy enough
She says
The headlines
Are too callous
For her to carry

Sometimes in summer
A wasp
Catches in my window
A glimmer of reverie
Stuck in the wire
She understands
This is her fate
And waits for the cold

We are all blinded
By the internal machine
Named vanity
Our path is singular
Without enough room
For regrets
We are alone

This is great, Bookworm! Though I'll admit that I do agree with you on that it is a rough draft.

When I was young
I felt isolated
Because I understood
Why the plants go away "Go away" is not the most original of phrases.
In winter
And come back again Same thing with "come back."
When the world weeps

My mother
Never reads the paper
Her life is “busy enough’ This line really disrupts the flow.
The headlines
Are too cruel "Cruel" makes me think that the headlines are directly, and negatively, addressing the reader, in this case your mother. I would use a different word here.
For her to carry

Sometimes in the summer
A wasp
Catches in my window
She understands
This is her fate
And waits for the cold

We are all blinded
By our own internal machine "All" suggests plural, whereas "own" suggests singular. They are conflicting. I would just get rid of "own."
Our path is singular
Not enough room You need a smoother transition between this and the above line.
For regrets
We are alone

Well, the one thing I would like you to know is that this is a remarkable poem for one that was written in ten minutes. If you could write this in that short of a time, then I'm dying to know what you could write in an hour....

One thing I did find lacking throughout was imagery. You have strong emotions, but I don't have any picture in my head as I'm reading this. This is great as it is, though, with a little revision, so what I would do is use this as a basic structure and then expand on it from there. Hope this helps!

-Kafka

Thanks so much Kafkaescence! I always love your reviews! I'll be sure to edit this--I normally don't just throw something down, but it came to me, and I said what the heck!

i can relate to this poem and those are the best. I thought you really reached out to your aduience well. I thought your flow was good. I also really liked your word choices they touched me in a certin way. You did a great job. Keep up the writing and the good work.

Really good, but I agree it needs some work, but it is good. Keep working on it and it could be another classic.

It'd good, it has good visuals and good flow and really nice meaning could really relate to it and i find those are the best ( sorry for sounding redundant to my counterparts above me. Keep writing!