I'm So Full Of It

I’m Full of Lies,

I’m Full of lies, teary eyes, long sighs, kisses goodbye,
I’m Full of the night sky and the silence passing by.
I’m Full of self defense and nonsense, with the suspence and expence of every intense offense.
I’m Full of good combacks, some tic tacs, but we’re off track
because those are the things i do lack.
I’m Full of lucky charms harvesting a witty soul who doesnt give a darn,
i’m full of self harm whose unarmed.
I’m Full of myself, and self help to self wealth,
taking pride in oneself because saying we did it ourself doesnt make me feel well.
I’m Full of you, dragon tattoos, and shirts that are see through,
I’m Full of Jimmy Choos, but these things you knew and arent new.
I’m full of muffled cries, a sneaky disguise, but its no suprise.
I’m Full of Lies.

Oh my gosh this poem is absolutely amazing I loved it! I think the flow and the rhyme scheme is perfect and I love how you put so much of yourself into something that everyone can relate to. Simply brilliant. Very creative and very individual!

I’m Full of you, dragon tattoos, and shirts that are see through,

This line made me giggle, but I also felt ike you were definetly putting some of your.....I don't want to say flaws but maybe conflicts could be the word? I don't know.

I’m Full of lies, teary eyes, long sighs, kisses goodbye

i’m full of self harm whose unarmed.

These two lines moved me. So excellent and definetly something I can relate to. You are so talented keep up the good work and PM me for anything please!

First off, I want to say I read your poem and liked the first line. After that, though, it began to seem forced - and that's not good. My comments are in bold.

I’m Full of lies, teary eyes, long sighs, kisses goodbye,
I’m Full of the night sky and the silence passing by. I don't like this line. It puts everything off track.
I’m Full of self defense and nonsense, with the suspence Spelling! and expence Spelling! of every intense offense. I enjoyed the beginning of this line, up until nonsense. After that, it seemed too pushy with all of the rhyming.
I’m Full of good combacks, some tic tacs, but we’re off track
because those are the things i do lack.I don't like this at all. At all. It doesn't make sense and it's also pushy with the rhyming.
I’m Full of lucky charms harvesting What do you mean by "harvesting"? Perhaps "feeding" would be more suitable, if you're talking about the Lucky Charms cereal? a witty soul who doesnt Apostrophe! give a darn,
I’m full of self harm whose unarmed. Self-harm and unarmed are opposite, and do not lend themselves to each other.
I’m Full of myself, and self help to self wealth, Uh... What do you mean by self help to self wealth? Once again, forced rhyming is visible.
taking pride in oneself because saying we did it ourself doesnt Spelling! Apostrophe! make me feel well. This is unneeded. It does nothing for your poem.
I’m Full of you, dragon tattoos, and shirts that are see through, I actually like this, as it shows more of the narrator shining through.
I’m Full of Jimmy Choos, but these things you knew and arent new. Oh man... just no. It doesn't work, I'm sorry to say.
I’m full of muffled cries, a sneaky disguise, but its no suprise. Maybe end with something more like, "so it's no surprise that I'm Full of Lies", instead of this and the next line.
I’m Full of Lies.

I applaud you for trying to use rhyming, but I have a rule here: NEVER, under ANY circumstances, sacrifice rhythm for rhyme! You did that in a few places and it makes the poem seemed forced - and that's not what poetry is about.
I liked the general idea, but the way you presented it needs a dose of editing. That's what we're here for, though - to help each other out so we can grow stronger with our writing skills.
Good luck with your poems.
-Molly

I love this, it totally brings out another side of poetry which reminds us that there are so many different styles and that each person has there very own style. The way your poem changes its flow from a very fast to just fast and so on can get a little tricky sometimes but the way you did it wokred perfectly:) it fitted in with the sort of attitude given off from the poem( not that it is a bad one, its not, its really good to show some spunk if you know what i mean). keep it upw:)
-Niko

I like the idea of your poem, but I think in some parts the rhyming does seem a little forced.
Sorry that's all I have to say!

I really liked this poem, the flow was good. Really good.