Finite

This world is ending,
this spectrum of colors and lights;
these forests shall crumble, this
skyscape, ignited by the fire
of a toothless grin.

When this bell tolls,
when this hourglass shatters,
it shall be time
to go. As the dust

suffocates us,
we walk away
from the tsunami.
The sun will be

crucified. We will watch
it burn, as it curses
and spits plasma,
that annihilates the moon,

but not us, never us,
for we shall escape
the labyrinthine enigma
of the hypercube,

as it imprisons us,
sickens us. Are we not
the saviors? No,
for heroism only brings death.

We used to be gods,
remember? But now
inside this toothless grin,
freedom shall drown.

We are the leaves that float
down, down, onto the alumni
of deserts and oceans. Look,
we have died and saved no one.

Wow. This poem is just absolutely amazing. I have absolutely no criticism. It is so twisted and demented yet....beautiful. I desperately want to know what the purpose of this poem was!!

We are the leaves that float
down, down, onto the alumni
of deserts and oceans. Look,
we have died and saved no one.

This stanza just moves me. Amazing please write more.

down, down, onto the alumni
of deserts and oceans. Look,

Onto the associates of deserts and oceans? That makes no sense. Did you perhaps mean "alum" as in potash alum? That would make a bit more sense.

Otherwise, I was pretty impressed by your grasp of the technical side of poetry; you have a very solid grasp. That said, there wasn't much about this poem that really hooked me. It read as a pretty typical apocalyptic poem, albeit one without all the trite pieces of imagery thoughtlessly cobbled together to add "flavor". Speaking of your imagery, while it wasn't trite or cliched, it wasn't particularly gripping or interesting, with the exception of these lines:

The sun will be

crucified. We will watch
it burn, as it curses
and spits plasma,
that annihilates the moon,

I liked how you described and personified the sun and its actions. It was quite vivid.

So, overall, I found this poem to be neither great nor terrible. Perhaps incorporating more vivid imagery may make it more interesting/memorable?

Hi!
Nice to talk to you again, how are you doing?
So to reviewin!
I really enjoyed it, here are a few little words:

This world is ending,
this spectrum of colors and lights; Ohhhh pretty, colors!
these forests shall crumble,
this skyscape,
ignited by the fire
of a toothless grin. Bad dental hygiene(someone needs braces)
When this bell tolls,
when this hourglass shatters, (Oh no!)
it shall be timeto go.
As the dust suffocates us,
we walk awayfrom the tsunami.
The sun will be crucified. actually, I did hear that in a million years the sun would soon implode, causing it to engulf the Earth(scary stuff huh?)
We will watch it burn,
as it curses and spits plasma,
that annihilates the moon,
but not us,
never us, Oh snap! Idk, Im feeling spazzy right now!
for we shall escape
the labyrinthine enigma
of the hypercube,
as it imprisons us,
sickens us.
Are we not the saviors?
No, for heroism only brings death.
We used to be gods,remember?
But now inside this toothless grin, oh no...why did you use this twice?
freedom shall drown.
We are the leaves that floatdown,
down, onto the alumn iof deserts and oceans.
Look,we have died and saved no one. *clap clap clap* the ending is awesome...breathtaking! Bravo!

So, overall I really like it. And the ending left you wanting more!
The title drew me in, immediatly. I really like the theme and the length and everything.
Again, it was perfect and I can't wait to read more from you!
Enjoy reviewing sunday!
Thank you for posting it.