Shooting Stars

I cannot see the sun,
for the sky has turned to black.
The heavens rain the stars tonight,
giving wishes back.

I chanced to view this silent shower,
as I lay in the night, awakened.
And in the glow of the pallid moon,
stars quit the sky; wishes forsaken.

This is why the sky cries light;
these water-fire tears,
are much more than a spark at night,
they hold our hopes and fears.

When you beg a wish of a star at night,
you grant it your own light.
So long as you believe in it,
that star will grow in might.

But when someone, a wish forgets,
lost to the void of time,
the star will run its course, and fail,
a murder as good as a crime.

Hope, my hope, where have you gone?
You've joined the fallen stars.
Wish as hard as I may or might,
these dreams are no longer ours.

The ethereal lands of fairy-tales,
in our world, they do not exist.
no handsome prince, no magic frog,
waiting to be kissed.

In our world of hard-earned gains,
we must fight for everything.
And in this place called Reality,
knives hurt, and cuts do sting.

Reality sliced into my mind,
Its harsh and poisoned spine,
pokes itself hard inside my dreams,
where thoughts should alone be mine.

It has no right disturbing me,
with the moon still in the sky,
but watching stars come raining down,
I know my dreams are lies.

Hopes and dreams, truth and lies.
they all have their places.
But as we age we realize;
most good things, time erases.

Reality's burst my dreams tonight.
My room is canvased black.
The sky paints the wall with glowing dots,
as it gives our wishes back.

Wonderful poem! Just a little nitpicking...I wasn't sure if when you said
"And in the soft glow of the pallid moon,they quit the sky;wishes forsaken"
You meant 'quit the sky' or 'quilt the sky'. I don't want to directly say you made an error, thats just what it seemed like to me.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this poem. I tend to think that sometimes when authors rhyme poems it makes it seem a bit immature at times, but I really enjoyed your subtle rhyming in the end. It was a very serious, hard core kind of piece, and I loved it! Great job!

Hey Khepri! I thought this poem had a universal theme, and it definitely rang through every stanza. However, the flow of the lines can be tweeked.

This is why the sky cries light;
these water(s) (that) fire tears, are not just stars,
much more than that
they're our mortal hopes and fears.

Hmm, I don't like "much more than that" in that sentence, it's quite vague. Besides that, this is my favorite stanza.

I cannot see the sun anymore,
the sky has turned to black.
The heavens rain the stars tonight,
giving wishes back.

I would delete the "anymore" because it doesn't quite fit. This is a suggestion..

I cannot see the sun,
for the sky has gone black
as the heavens rain stars,
giving wishes back.

The next stanza sounds a bit awkward when spoken out loud, and there are unnecessary words as well. Less is more!

I chanced to view this silent shower,
as I lay in the night, awakened.
And in the soft glow of the pallid moon,
they quit the sky;wishes forsaken.

A suggestion...

I chanced to view this silent shower, - iamb
in the night, awakened -trochee
and in the glow of pallid moon - iamb
Wishes quit the sky, forsaken - trochee

Iamb is one unstressed syllable, and one stressed. Trochee is one stressed syllable and one unstressed. Now, the the stanza can be spoken easily.

I suggest you to look over your poem and read it out loud, focusing on the stanzas that sound awkward and eliminating or adding words so that it can flow more. The following stanza is the best rhythmically, in my opinion.

Reality's burst my dreams tonight.
My room is canvased black.
The sky paints the wall with glowing dots,
as it gives our wishes back.

All I would change is "The sky paints the wall with glowing dots," by eliminating one syllable. I noticed your acad rhyming, and it works well! As for the theme of your poem, it is conveyed well with the help of literary devices, metaphors, for example. GOOD JOB!

Hello! I thought that this was a really good poem. Some great metaphors and imagery. So well done.
Some stanzas I particularly liked were

I cannot see the sun,
for the sky has turned to black.
The heavens rain the stars tonight,
giving wishes back.

and

I chanced to view this silent shower,
as I lay in the night, awakened.
And in the glow of the pallid moon,
stars quit the sky; wishes forsaken.

One line I didn't quite get was "stars quit the sky" - do you mean that they disappeared or burned out or just didn't shine anymore? Please specify that.
The grammar and punctuation was good, although I felt that you did sometimes add commas where they weren't needed.

The ethereal lands of fairy-tales,
in our world, they do not exist.
no handsome prince, no magic frog,
waiting to be kissed.

That was also a stanza I liked, although I felt that it didn't quite flow properly, like the structure felt broken up when you said "...no handsome frog" and then on the nest line "waiting to be kissed." Maybe work on that?\

Anyway well done! A great poem in my opinion; those were just nitpicks. Keep writing!

stars quit the sky; wishes forsaken.

What I meant by "quit the sky" was the stars left the sky, abandoning people's wishes. As in, "He quit the room" = "He left the room".
~Khepri

This was really good! I applaud you!

I cannot see the sun,
for the sky has turned to black.

That drew me in. I thought the imagery in the first two lines made the poem that much better. I personally feel that the first and last couple of lines in a poem have to be the strongest and I think you did a really great job with that.