Ode to Aphrodite

So this poem was written by Sappho, 2700 years ago, but I translated it from Ancient Greek for a school project. I know it's accurate to what the original says, but I wondered if you guys could help me make it a better English poem. That said, I can't make dramatic changes because I need to stay true to Sappho's words. Please help?


Immortal Aphrodite awash in changeful flowers
Child of Zeus, deceitful one, I beg of you,
Do not defeat with sorrows,
Lady, my heart.

But come here to me when, as before,
I heard sounds from afar,
And leaving your golden house,
You came to me

In your chariot, surrounded by
Swift small birds, winging ‘round the dark earth -
Rapid, whirling wings from heaven
Through the clear air-

Quickly they carried you, blessed one,
Carried your smiling undying face,
And you asked why I was troubled again,
Why I was invoking you,
What I most want to happen.

And I to you: with frenzied heart,
I want the woman who has betrayed me.
And you replied: Who, O Sappho,
Has done you wrong?

If she runs now I will make her pursue you
If she accepts no gifts I will make her give them
If she loves you not I will make her love you
Even if she would rather die.

Come to me now again, harshly but freeing,
Help me accomplish, free me from anxiety -
My soul yearns for victory but only you can provide -
I need you as my battle companion.

I'm impressed with what you've done with this! So I'm afraid I can't offer too much critisism.

If anything, I would say tweak it a bit to help it flow easier. For example;
"Do not defeat with sorrows, / Lady, my heart."
This doesn't fully make sense, but if you swich the words round to something like 'Do not defear with sorrows / my heart, my lady.' Be aware of what phrases carry what impressions in english. For example 'lady' on its own is usually used by a child or a brat who doesn't know a womans name or have the manners to say 'miss.' Whereas 'my lady' is more commonly used as a polite term from a man to a woman.

Apart from that I can't really find much else. Good work

Help me accomplish, free me from anxiety -

Accomplish what? You might want to trade out "accomplish" for a more definite, for lack of a better word, word like "succeed", or check the implications of the original Greek and include it. What specifically is it implied that he would accomplish?

Otherwise, from what I can see, you did a pretty solid job. I really can't provide any more suggestions without seeing the literal translation, having a list of the connotations and allusions, and the original. Aside from what Tenyo pointed out and the "accomplish" bit, this read very smoothly and made sense.

I wish I could have been of more help.