Feelings I can't Ignore

When I look at you,
I can't help but smile,
When I look into your eyes,
It's like a whole new world.
When you hold me in your arms,
The time just slips away,
Then I realise they were all dreams,
And I wanted you to stay.
Never knowing,
What these feelings mean,
Is a never ending saga,
That always seems to gleam.
Even as I pass you by,
Or push these feelings out the window, to the sky,
I never seem to understand,
These feelings that just seem to last.
I look at my reflection,
And I can't help what I see,
A person smiling, like an idiot,
And that person, Is me.

God, I can't ignore this with the experiences I've been through >.<

Anyway...back to the poem. It was good, it got be quite emotional, because I do that all the time. For some reason, I doubt myself. Is that what the story is about? That you think of yourself so great in your mind, but when back in the real world. You are a loser and other offensive things that you could call yourself?

Anyway, just a quote below:

Never knowing,
What these feelings mean,
Is a never ending saga,
That always seems to gleam.
Even as I pass you by,
Or push these feelings out the window, to the sky,
I never seem to understand,

One, I think you mean 'It is.'

Two, Definition of gleam is a bright or brief light. Are you sure you used the word correctly.

Three, This seemed a slight long in proportion to the other lines.

Anyway, good work, nice poem, I shall be off to do some more reviewing. So goodbye and once again congratulations on this fine poem.

Good day, looks like your a newby . well hello, i was there (still am?) not long ago.

I'll start with nitpicking. This would read a lot easier if you seperated the lines up a bit. gave them some structure to make for easier reading. its hard to concentrate when faced with line upon line to read.

When I look at you,I can't help but smile.[period]
When I look into your eyes,It's like a whole new world.
When you hold me in your arms,The time just slips away.

Then I realise they were all dreams,And I wanted you to stay.
Never knowing What these feelings mean.
Its a never ending saga,That always seems to gleam.
Even as I pass you by,Or push these feelings out the window,

"to the sky," sort of messes the flow you have going.
I never seem to understand,These feelings that just seem to last. ["just seem" seems so blahh and wishwashy, you have very strong feeligns coming through in the poem. keep with them.]
I look at my reflection,And I can't help what I see...
A person smiling, like an idiot.
And that person Is me.


Just a suggestion for spacing and some punctuation. I would be a bit more sparing on the comma's. i get that they are for dramatic pauses and flow, but you can also create that with spacing and have less of coma overdose

good look on all and keep writing! look forward to seeing more from you!

This is a really great piece of poetry and I very much enjoyed it.

Hello my name is MusicAndWritingSpeak and I'll be your reviewer today.

I agree with what deirdredawne said they should be spaced out like in paragraphs sorta

nice poem. by the way, i also love writing poems and i'm also new here. just saw your porttfolio

Heya! Thanks ....ahhh!! AWESOME!! thanks dude hey! If you need anything or need me to review anything..just ask me okay??? ahh..hope you liked it!

This reminds me so much of me!
I really enjoyed it, specially because i thinks it's so honest.
I really liked it =)

I don't have a critique. I just had to say that this is EXACTLY what I'm experiencing as I type! :;(
I love the way you wrote it, too, by the way, it's very nice. I won't say much else I'm new to poetry plus it looks to me as though everyone else has already critiqued it enough.

I don't have a critique. I just had to say that this is EXACTLY what I'm experiencing as I type! :;(
I love the way you wrote it, too, by the way, it's very nice. I won't say much else I'm new to poetry plus it looks to me as though everyone else has already critiqued it enough.

I don't have a critique. I just had to say that this is EXACTLY what I'm experiencing as I type! :;(
I love the way you wrote it, too, by the way, it's very nice. I won't say much else I'm new to poetry plus it looks to me as though everyone else has already critiqued it enough.