An Education Worth Paying For

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I haven't posted in ages and ages, but for the past couple of months I've basically been writing reams of freeform poetry, none of which I really feel confident enough to have ripped apart online... So anyway, here's my ballad-style poem about private schools and wouldn't-it-be-funny-if-they-were-training-them-all-to-be-construction-workers-instead-of-businessmen.

High-flying parents like to flaunt
Construction-worker kids
And so they start their aeroplane parts
To be just like their dads.

The little girl with eyes like soup
Dreams big. She says, “I hope
That I’ll become as good as Mum
At welding bits of pipe.”

The air is thick: it clogs your lungs,
It swarms with heavy dust.
The leaden heat glows red. It beats
Their throats, now shrunk with thirst.

The teachers like to boost morale:
“Why, Maisie,” they remark,
“You’ve quite a knack: your welding lacks
Inventiveness. Good work!”

The boy who’d rather read a book
Cocoons himself into a knot
With nose to knee, he finds that he
Can only smell inadequacy.
"What if, doctor, we need these knots and these tangles because they're the only things holding our souls down - and if we untied the knots and untangled the tangles and stretched them out ... would our souls just float away?"
~Luke Kennard, A Practical Course in Entry Level Expressionism




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Gender Male
Points 67823
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This is a very good piece...
A very original and different type of idea....
I must say one thing that it isn't necessary to start each line with a capital even if it is a continuation of the previous line....
Keep it in smalls it helps the reader to figure it out....
Other than that it was an enjoyable one...
Keep up the good work... :)
PM me for anything... :D
Are you living for the things you are praying for?




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Gender Male
Points 21355
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This is a great poem. It is straightforward, utilitarian with its words, with just the right amount of metaphor sprinkled on top. Good job.
#TNT

WRFF




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Gender Female
Points 1022
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Haha, it's quite ironic actually. Though I am slightly offended because my mam works on aeroplanes and my dad is in construction and theyre sending me to a private school. So, sadly I connected to it.

It was funny and a very great straight forward poem. :)
There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. -Anonymous.




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Gender Female
Points 6202
Reviews 38
Please don't be offended - all I mean is that it would be a lot more interesting if all the really posh schools trained children to be construction workers rather than businessmen! I'm glad you like it :D
"What if, doctor, we need these knots and these tangles because they're the only things holding our souls down - and if we untied the knots and untangled the tangles and stretched them out ... would our souls just float away?"
~Luke Kennard, A Practical Course in Entry Level Expressionism



Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
— Mark Twain