How many moments in your life can you say, "This is where it all changed" for me, it's three. The moment I met him, the moment I fell for him and the moment I lost him. Thinking about it now, none of these moments of change were even recognized until far after they happened, they just seemed to melt into one another.
Call it blind optimism but despite the circumstances, I loved the winter season for various reasons. One being I adore the snow, most people see the snow as a burden brought upon our town, a cause of nothing but accidents and traffic jams and cold whether. But I believe there is something magical about snow fall, it’s a reminder that the seasons eventually come and go, and time doesn’t stop for anyone, regardless if we are ready for it or not.
A fantasy of mine has always been to be kissed under a snowfall, most people would say the rain, but to me there is nothing romantic about a brutal storm getting in the way of perfect bliss, snow is calm, there is nothing calm about the rain.
Another was the fact that it was a new year, I consider a new year a chance to start over, to put everything in the past and break into something better. That was exactly what I intended to do, I had a new perspective, new goals that I wanted to fulfill, I could already tell I was in for a good year. But things never go as smoothly as they do in your mind.
CHAPTER ONE: OLIVIA
January 23rd 2010
I locked the door behind me as I entered the bedroom. Victoria, Robin, and Jayce following closely behind.
"Hide it" I motion my finger towards the bed.
Jayce slips the bottles underneath as I pull my I pod from my purse and place it in the dock. I turn on a song to help me relax. I stare blankly into my closet wondering what to wear. I settle on my favorite pair of plain dark denim jeans, and a pink knit off the shoulder sweater. I carefully remove a strand of hair from my iron to create a mess of uneven blonde spirals that fall gracefully onto my shoulder, I pin the front of my bangs to the side and finish applying a coat of brown mascara, Victoria always said the brown made my blue eyes stand out. I turn to Jayce who is furiously shaking her head form side to side.
"It adds volume" she says "I read it in Cosmo"
I squeeze out a smile; she looks stunning in a tight white tank top underneath a loose gray cardigan. My attention is shifted from Jayce to Robin, who is pointing a camera right at me, smiling brightly.
"Hey!" I exclaim, hiding my face from her view, she laughs.
"Get in this with me"
One picture turns into many as we continue getting ready. Victoria peers out my front window, throwing her long dark hair over her shoulder.
"Looks like people are arriving"
"Quit starring!" I laugh, slamming the curtains shut.
"Are we going to leave soon?" Robin sighs, as Victoria passes me a shot glass
"Two shots" she winks "then we'll go"
The vodka slides down my throat, it burns but at the same time is makes me feel less nervous. I take another and let the warm sensation overwhelm me. I take one more and put the rest in my bag for later.
As we leave the house, I turn around to lock the front door, I'm careful not to let my parents notice me, but that is clearly avoidable as I hear my father yell, "Have a good time!"
I don't say anything; just shut the door behind me.
--
"WHEEEEEEEEU" Jayce yells as we approach Brett’s house.
His house is large, white, and similar to mine. I remember when I was younger, around nine or ten when Brett and I were close. I wince at the memory, everything is so different now.
It's dark outside, the night looks promising, I can only hope. Clouded vision I have, but a clouded vision seems better than none at all, I'm beginning to think the alcohol is messing with my mind.
--
The basement isn't too crowded; the DJ hasn't even begun to play yet.
I'm giddy as a girl in a fitted black wrap around shirt and white shorts comes lunging towards me
"OLIVIA!" it's Ally Cox.
"Ally!" I cry, enveloping her in a hug.
"Come drink with us!"
I'm pulled over to a small couch with a table and a few other girls sitting around it, they say hello and we all begin to pass around a bottle. There is one with extremely long hair; a mix of blonde and dark brown. She has a bright smile, and piercing green eyes. She looks friendly, yet there's something about this girl that is slightly intimidating, she introduces herself as Teresa. The girl sitting next to her is smaller, thin and almost frail looking, with sharply cut black hair, and the bluest eyes I have ever seen, she resembles a pixy, and her name is Miranda.
One of the girls I recognize immediately is Madison, she stretches out a thin arm and passes me a shot, I sniff it and make a face.
"Take it fast, you won't even taste it" she laughs.
My skin feels warm and I begin to loosen up, I'm feeling more comfortable now. A cute boy with pale blonde hair and welcoming eyes flashes me a crooked smile. Before he glances back at the beer pong game he is taking part in, he motions me to come over. I take another shot, the night looks better after each one.
--
The room is spinning, but I like it.
I can't help but become lost in the music coming from Justin's DJ booth. Soon I am spinning faster than any other part of the room, my balance is thrown off by the sudden tug of Robin on my sweater, her brown eyes beaming.
"Come with me!"
The two of us make our way into a small work out room, where a couple in the corner looks almost to engaged in each other, I ignore them as she speaks.
"I'm so glad you talked me into coming!"
"Are you?" Waiting for her to finish, I look around, first at the couple then back at Robin.
"Can we go someplace else?"
She smiles and excitedly runs off, linking my arm with hers. Out of nowhere, Victoria grabs my arm and yells something; her words are completely slurred and unreadable.
"What..."
But it's already to late, Victoria has already stumbled over a speaker and half her drink is on the top of my head.
"You've got to be kidding"
She looks horrified but she is laughing at the same time
"Oh no! I’m so sorry Olivia! It will dry!"
She pats the front of my head before she runs off yelling for another keg stand.
At this point, despite my state of mind, I find myself extremely irritated.
"Here" Robin points to the washroom "lets go"
I catch my reflection in the mirror; the front of my hair is wet from where Victoria spilled her beer on me. I hate when she drinks, she's such a lightweight. In anger I attempt to dry myself off, I'm too busy to notice what Robin is saying to me, and the banging on the door doesn't help.
"Hold on!" I yell " for fucks sakes"
The door suddenly flies open, Jayce and Ally stumble in, and following them is Alicia Bouchard. The three of them push past me. A boy also enters behind them. He is tall, very tall, with wispy brown hair.
"Wait here" Alicia instructs him, while her, Ally and Jayce push past me, I exit the washroom.
Where did Robin go? I wonder, looking around, she isn't in sight but I notice James Gray looking at me, he smiles.
"Hey Olivia"
My mind is in such a haze.
"Hey"
"Are you okay? Your hair looks a little…"
“Fine" I interrupt, clearly annoyed
He looks at me sympathetically, he places his hand on my shoulder lightly and gives me a small smile, he opens his mouth, leaning slightly more towards me. For a moment I think he might kiss me, and for a moment I think I might let him, but the moment passes the moment I hear Alicia.
"James!" she shrieks.
She grabs him and forces him to leave with her.
"Are you really that surprised?" Ally mumbles to Jayce as they leave as well.
Robin falls out behind them, how did she get there? I push my way out and drag her along with me. She pulls out a bottle, and tugs me towards another room; she fiddles around with the knob.
"It’s locked?" I question, trying to open it myself.
I yank at the door furiously as it flies open, I stumble over in shock as I look over to find a boy who is clearly just as shocked jump and push the girl who is on top of him off his lap.
It's Stephen Moore.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" I push Robin out and shut the door.
"That’s embarrassing" she can't quit laughing, "who was that?”
By the time she asks, I've completely forgotten.
CHAPTER TWO: STEPHEN.
January 23rd 2010
I noticed her the minute she walked in.
I was sitting around watching my buddies engaged in a game of beer pong, surrounding us was a group of girls, screeching and laughing.
If half of them weren't so good looking this might annoy me. I shrug it off as a small brunette smile at me. She's pretty, I think to myself, returning the smile.
I take a swing of beer as my friends cheer
"Drink up!" Anthony Thomas yells, and Matt downs a cup of beer.
"WHEEEEU!" he yells, doing a small victory dance.
I laugh at this, a part of me wants to take part, but instead I sit there and watch, casually glancing around the room, and that's when I saw her. It wasn't any profound moment, where time slows down, and the earth stops spinning, like in the movies, but I definitely noticed her.
I see a large group in the centre of the room; a trio of girls separate themselves from the herd and begins walking towards the corner table. I stare at the first one in the middle; I recognize her but have never met her. A medium sized girl, with shoulder length black hair, and blonde streaks poking out from the bottom. She has a thin oval shaped face and dark eyes. To her right a taller girl, slender with very long dark hair, with no real shape or form, she's kind of basic yet exotic looking, I've seen her to. Finally to the left, It's her, Olivia. She's very tiny, wearing dark jeans that hang low on her hips and with blonde curly hair that flows long down her back. I've noticed her a lot before, we had second period English together first semester, I've never quite spoken to her before. She's quiet but I don't think there's a moment I've ever not seen her smile. These girls are pretty but I can't really concentrate on them, the display of girls and the atmosphere around me has such a dizzying, half-of-mirrors effect. My attention is diverted away from her as the brunette flashes me a warm smile, and just like that I forget about Olivia, she introduces herself as Melanie.
--
"So what do you like to do?"
"What? Sorry the music is so loud"
or perhaps I'm just bored of pointless conversation, she leans in closer.
"You play sports?" she asks.
"Oh, I play hockey"
I look around, by now I'm so sick of talking to her, I'm having trouble deciding whether I should just grab her and take her to the nearby bedroom, or get up and leave, not even bother.
I think she can read my expression as she leans closer and grabs my hand, I take one last look around and notice Olivia again, and She is talking to James. They look engaged in some sort of deep conversation, she looks into him, and his hand is on her shoulder.
"...Want to?"
Melanie is already mid sentence by the time I direct my attention back to her, I look up, Olivia is gone, I nod.
The bedroom is dark; I close the door behind me, in hope to drown the music out. By that time Melanie is kissing me, I lean back hoping to fall onto something soft, a bed maybe. I feel something hard, a chair, good enough. I ease back, one hand on the arm rest, the other on the small of her back, I pull her down with me and she softly takes a seat on my right knee. Her lips are warm and soft against mine. Her hand is pressed aggressively against my chest. She leans back and takes off her bright blue cardigan and gives me a somewhat seductive look, she kisses me again, this time harder. I'm finding it hard to breathe; I imagine what it would be like to have sex with this girl. My thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the swinging open of the door. The light is blinding on my eyes.
"Oh my god" a girl exclaims, almost horrified looking.
The girl beside her giggles a bit and soon is uncontrollably laughing; I push Melanie off me, and cannot believe who is standing at the door.
Olivia Height.
"I'm so sorry!" she says as she slams the door back shut.
Melanie begins to laugh, she starts to kiss me again, but by this point I already feel to uncomfortable to keep going.
"Maybe we should go"
Before she can respond, I am already standing up and heading to the door, I flick on the light and stare at her slumped down on the comforter. The red pattern matches her bright red socks, I hadn't noticed them before. Suddenly she looked so naive, so desperate. I figure I should stay and talk to her but instead I keep walking and exit the room, she'll come out eventually.
I make my way over to my friends who are gathered around a round table talking and laughing, I make a note not to mention Melanie for the rest of the night.
any input would be great
and maybe and ideas for a title! I haven't thought of one yet!
