Time

Time allows us to perceive.
Time allows us to unweave,
the mysteries which it conceals,
and the opportunities it reveals.


It is understood as a change,
which people go through.
But time doesn't change us.
It just unfolds us.


It began at birth,
of air and dirt.
Its the event of the cosmos,
we cannot fathom its absence.


Is time eternal?
Or is it just a creation,
as space and matter?
Or is it an angel?


In the quest of understanding time,
it occurred me that.
Either it is everything.
Or it is simply nothing.


It might be events in totality.
Or it might be motion relatively.
It might be something emeritus.
Or it might just be a tot.

Time allows us to perceive.
Time allows us to unweave,
the mysteries which it conceals,
and the opportunities it reveals.

I liked the content of this poem. For such a deep subject, I think that you could have gone just a bit deeper, in the word choice specifically, although there was definitely depth in the ideas you presented.

It is understood as a change,
which people go through.
But time doesn't change us.
It just unfolds us.


It began at birth,
of air and dirt.
Its the event of the cosmos,
we cannot fathom its absence.

The words "understood as" turns me off. Not the best thing at the very beginning. First of all, since it is pretty much the beginning of the poem, at least the beginning of a stanza, so you want to identify the subject immediately. Say instead: "Time is recognized
As a change
(do not use the word "which" in a poem (it simply sounds too informative) unless absolutely necessary. Always check if it can be replace with "that")
That people
Go through
..."

Another thing I find annoying in the poem is how uniformally you distribute the lines between the stanzas. You do not have to do this. If a line sounds better broken than not, keep in mind that a reader would rather like to read lines that sound nice than lines that are homogeneous, numerically speaking, but lose much of their meaning because of their not having been broken. *gasp for air*

Next stanza. When you begin a line with "It began," it sounds like you're giving the reader a history of its existence. This is another turn-off-er. Moving on, the "its" on the third line should be "it's." Now, the last line kind of confused me. I like the words, and the idea, but it seemed a bit off-topic considering the rest of the stanza was completely focused on time's past. In terms of line breaks, break between "at" and "birth," between "air" and "and," between "event" and "of," and between "we" and "cannot."

The rest of the poem sounds fine to me, except for the line breaks, which I don't want to take too much control over, so I recommend breaking on your own where it sounds good to you.

I enjoyed reading this poem, and hope you consider my suggestions.

Yet again a fabulous piece of work, it makes me smile and I love the imagery given.
You are really good at doing this type of poetry.

Is time eternal?
Or is it just a creation,
as space and matter?
Or is it an angel?

I love this, it really makes me think, takes me to another place.

I think the concept it great, you could go ever deeper if you wanted I think! you have a great way of providing imagery. it's really amazing.

Time allows us to perceive.
Time allows us to unweave,
the mysteries which it conceals,
and the opportunities it reveals.

Very impressive start. It also rhymes which helps me remember it. I would like to congratulate you, I read one of your poems when you first came on to the site and I have to say. Your grammar and spelling has improved alot. I liked your poems from the start, where did you become so skilled?

So all in all a very nice poem about there. With a very good start which I enjoyed alot.

i loved the beginning of this poem, the rhyme works very well.
overall, all i can say is that the poem was amazing and set out very well. its very perceptive and thought provoking.
theres nothing that i would really change about this poem. it flows perfectly and works very well.
well done

Thanks for all the comments friends.... I really appreciate them...
And well mazzi i don't know whether i am skilled or not but sometimes it just comes out of my mind and i note it down...