untitled...

So, I've decided to start up a young writer's society blog/page... however this thing works.
I'm not usually into writing, but am going to try it out. See how I am at it.

So I wrote this in about 20 minutes, very very rough. Thought I would post it and see how anyone thinks?
Criticize it to the max, please and thank you!

PROLOGUE
Corey Tanner’s life consisted of teenage romance, stately drunken parties, and of course the stress cloud hovering us all on her last year of high school. I know usually these stories come with the whole background of the sexual abusive father or the drug dealer brother, even the porn star sister; not this story. Corey had a perfect life, perfect as it could be. Her parents lived in a beautiful Victorian styled home accented with crown moldings, very wealthy family; definitely not depending on anyone financially. She had a great group of friends (for now) who she could rely on for anything and the most amazing boyfriend anyone could ask for, Zach. Everything was perfect up until the day she accepted a babysitting job from her hairdresser, April.

CHAPTER 1
Have you ever realized how the clouds whisk their way through a warm, breezy, summer’s day?

That's all I've got so far. Maybe jumping right into a novel isn't the best way to go about just starting to write, but it's what feels right.

I've always wanted to right just about my life, so this story is pretty much going to be it, on a more exaggerated way, of course.

so yeah, tell me what you think!

Actually, this isn't bad for your first time. I can tell you that joining YWS was probably the best step you'll ever take in that direction.

I'll cut right to the chase.

Corey Tanner’s life consisted of teenage romance, stately drunken parties, and of course the stress cloud hovering us all on her last year of high school.

"...and, of course, the stress cloud hovering above...."

I know usually these stories come with the whole background of the sexual abusive father or the drug dealer brother, even the porn star sister; not this story.

"I know that these stories usually...sister, but not this story."

Her parents lived in a beautiful Victorian styled home accented with crown moldings, very wealthy family; definitely not depending on anyone financially.

"...crown moldings. She lived in a very wealthy family."

Have you ever realized how the clouds whisk their way through a warm, breezy, summer’s day?

"...breezy summer's day?"

That's pretty much all the critique I have for you, sorry. I guess I just don't yet have enough information about your story to go any deeper than grammar. Good luck!

So, I've decided to start up a young writer's society blog/page... however this thing works.

Just a clarification.

Are you writing this for a blog? If so, you can see "Blog" menu below the header, and you can click "My Blog" in the drop-down menu. Or you can simply see it in this link: blog/

PM me for any questions.

~yuri