We are what we eat

3 posts
Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1198
Reviews 83
Just something I came up with in like 10 mins right now. Tell me whatcha think!
Hope you enjoy.

We are what we eat
Does it mean that
We eat what we are?

What if I ate a pear?
Would I be a pear?
Would I pretend to be a pear?

Would I be round
With smooth skin bound
Around my inner flesh, aged brown?

Would I live upon a tree
Atop a branch to see,
My fellow pears all free

Like a pear?

And what if what I ate
Were something like a phone
As far fetched it may seem

A phone is never alone
It always listens and may talk
It's always carried, never walks

Would I ring and quiver
Would I sing and shiver
Every time my name is called?

Would I open and close
And get my daily dose
Of my master's nose

Like a phone?

Do I need to eat
My own skin and meat
To be what I see myself to be?

Now there's a rumbling in my gut
I think I'll just give up
And go and eat some nuts.

Wait what?
Last edited by danipower0204 on Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Check out: http://www.planetsplash.com/
Providing News, Great Ideas, and More




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8363
Reviews 182
Ha ha! I love the ending! It quickly turned the poem from interrogative to comical. This saying has been used a lot and can get boring, so i like that you expanded on it and gave it a new feel.

Would I open and close
And get my daily dose
Of my master's nose


This sentence just felt like a run-on to me, so I added a transition.

Now there's a rumbling in my gut
I think I'll just give up
And go and eat some nuts.

Wait what?


My favorite stanza!
Nice poem!
"If you ever have a problem don't say 'Hey God I have a big problem.' Rather 'Hey Problem... I have a big God and it's all going to be okay."




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1198
Reviews 83
Thanks for the reply! I think you're right, so I added the AND.

Glad you liked it!
Check out: http://www.planetsplash.com/
Providing News, Great Ideas, and More



The only proper way of drinking Capri-Sun is from your great-grandmother's gold-plated cups reserved for special occasions.
— NovemberCrow