T-A-N-G-O

The night time was coming closer and closer, and he was feeling some kind of anxiety.

Tonight he’ll see her again, his mystery lady out of the dream. Now he can’t live without her. She is the part of his soul. He feels that he knows her from the beginning of the times. She is The Woman, yes, with the initial.

She is strong, passionate, and full of fire and desire. Fire is in her hair, desire is in her eyes, softness is on her lips, and passion is in her body. He can read it in her moves. Her dance is a story, told without words.

Her dance is a bowl filled with all colors of the sinful world. She invites him to visit it, the darker side of the shining city. And he follows her. He sees all the sinful passion, burning desire, languorous eyes that call him, all the admirable steps. And he can’t fight the temptation to dance with her.

He takes her hand and the pen starts writing the love story of two lonely hearts, that finally met each other, but not for long, when the music is over, she’ll disappear.

She can’t live in this world of reality and truth. She was made for the world of his dreams, the world where he is her only partner. So they dance.

He holds her in his arms, and caresses her back, and she puts her neck under his kisses, and her leg moves him up closer to her. He is like on fire. He breathes hard; he feels that his heart will jump out of this chest. He can’t bare it any longer. She tears his soul into small pieces.

She shows him what he’ll never get. She gives him a bite to try, but never to taste it fully.

He tries to walk away, but she holds him. Her body is like a trap, one can hardly get out of it.

She whispers softly into his ear “Mine...”. And he stays. Tomorrow he’ll be broken, he’ll hate himself, but tonight he can’t resist it. She says “Say it!”. And he answers “Yours...”.

And she starts all over again, inspired by these words. And again she tells him a story in that ancient language, which he perfectly understands. And they dance till the dawn.

And in the morning, when she gives him the last kiss, he falls a sleep and dreams of her…

Hello there.

He is like on fire.

And they dance until the dawn.

This was a rather confusing story. I don't feeling I know the guy and his conflict at all. And who is the girl? Is she in his dream? That's what it felt like, but I'm not sure. The readers should know exactly what is going on. I think that you were aiming for the confusing narration so it was more noticeable, but it's not enough. Say it that he's asleep, if it's the case.

Keep writing!

-Other One

I think that this is a great story. There is a significant amount of potential. The story seems good. There is the occasional unnecessary word, but people already cleared that up. I think that you are missing one of the most important elements of creative writing: Passion. As I read this, it seemed flat. Two-Dimensional. I didn't feel any real feeling in it. Yes, the words are passionate, but it doesn't seem to me as if you yourself really feel it.

I was kind of confused. So, is she real or fake? The description is really amazing though! Also, not that it matters, but I didn't really understand the title. Tango? Because of the dance? Anyway, good job!