Dear Lucy

A small letter. Feedback would be nice.

The gardener usually trimmed the bushes every Wednesday, but since he was going to be out of town all that week he would trim them Sunday night. The gardener pushed his hair back nervously, thinking of his wife's cancer. He felt horrible. He wasn't there for her last chemo, and after seeing her after the chemo, he promised himself that he would be there for her.

The graveyard always brought bad thoughts to him. Would he be tending the flowers around her grave? He blinked back tears at the thought. No, that would never happen, he told himself. Karen's a fighter. She'll beat the cancer.

He sighed and started trimming the bushes. He looked at the graves. So many people are buried here, he thought. Why did they all die? He shook his head to clear the thoughts. He went back to trimming the bushes.

As he tended the flowers around the graveyard, his eye caught onto a cluster of flowers. There were growing around a gravestone. He sighed heavily. He'd have to tend those too. Why do these mourners always make it harder on him? He limped to the flowers and began to cut the weeds.

There was a peice of paper beside the grave. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What did someone leave behind from the funeral?

It was folded in the way that his teenage daughter folded her notes. He struggled and finally (after a few rips) opened it. He told himself it was just to return this to the owner, but curiousity won over as he read the note.

What he found shocked him.

Dear Lucy,

How are you today? Oh wait, I forgot, you're DEAD!!! I bet it's a surprise to see me at your funeral, dressed up in my nice suit, mourning over you. The last time I saw you, you were screaming at me, telling me to go to Hell. Karma always come back at you.

I just want to tell you: I forgive you. I forgive you for everything you did. Your son will be fine with me. He will know everything about you: your kindness, your sweetness, and your love. He looks like you: absolutely beautiful. He has your eyes and face. I will make sure that monter doesn't touch him.

I am surprised you put me in your letter. Why the hell did you even think that it'd be alright to give me your son?! That is selfish! We weren't even speaking!

I'm sorry. I'm not mad, I'm just sad. Your parents are sad. So are all your friends. We all miss you and want you to come back I don't understand. Why Lucy, why?

I love you and will always love you always. I can't wait to see you up in Heaven.

The gardener looks at the gravestone. It read: Lucy Griffenth 1993-2010. He set the letter back down and went back to his duties.

Hello!! XD I'm Belle and I'll be reviewing you today

There wasn't too much here that I had issues with. I just want to point out a few things.

Your first two sentences are a bit too long. Try to divide them up into two separate sentences each... If that makes any sense.

The graveyard always brought bad thoughts to him. Would he be tending the flowers around her grave? He blinked back tears at the thought. No, that would never happen, he told himself. Karen's a fighter. She'll beat the cancer.

Here your character thinks alot. Italicize the thoughts so that it's more apparent that it's all in his mind, not in the actual narrative.

It was folded in the way that his teenage daughter folded her notes. He struggled and finally (after a few rips) opened it. He told himself it was just to return this to the owner, but curiousity won over as he read the note.

Here, "(after a few rips)" don't put that in the parenthesis. Instead, a comma on either end of the phrase would look and read a lot better.

"karma always come back at you"

That sentence confused me a little. Did you mean 'comes'?

I just want to tell you: I forgive you. I forgive you for everything you did. Your son will be fine with me. He will know everything about you: your kindness, your sweetness, and your love. He looks like you: absolutely beautiful. He has your eyes and face. I will make sure that monter doesn't touch him.

I am surprised you put me in your letter. Why the hell did you even think that it'd be alright to give me your son?! That is selfish! We weren't even speaking!

These paragraphs kind of contradict each other.... And you spelled monster 'monter'

Okay, I think that's everything.

This was very good and very intriguing. I like how you managed to keep the Gardener's name anonymous yet still kept us emotionally attached to his character. The letter was very well written and makes the reader wonder about Lucy and her life before she died. I like this whole thing very much you did and excellent job developing your characters and the story and everything. Two thumbs up:)
Any questions you can pm me anytime night or day I'm always around
Happy writing!

BeLl3

I thought this was deep. I liked it. The paragraph in the "Dear Lucy" letter was very unsettling and very IN YOUR FACE. which i didn't expect in this. Other than that, i thought it was nice.

Okay, my first thoughts on this story are: All together, fairly good. I rather enjoyed reading it, but where you cut it off left me wondering what happened to Lucy and how she died. But, all good stories do leave the reader wanting more and pondering upon what happened to this character or what did this person do after this happened.
The gardener was detached and attached at the same time. I really like how you left him basically anonymous, but gave us a little bit of insight on his life. It makes one wonder about him- how did he start gardening? When did he find out his life had cancer? How did he react to finding that out?
There were a few mistakes here and there that could have been somewhat easily caught if you read over it, but, then again, who likes to read over there own stories? Not many, I bet.
I like how you left me wanting more of a back-story and to know more about Lucy. That was a big goal I, personally, as a writer, try to achieve; to intrigue the readers.
All together, well done. I rather enjoyed this piece of literature.