Ocean Dreams

O’ cast thy spell
My deep blue sea!
Let your tender waves
Caress me,
Let my troubles float away
In the foam –
O’ lead me to
My secret place!
There my heart shall forever stay.
O’ none can compare to thy beauty
My deep blue sea.

Hey,

I had to read it twice, it confused me!

Okay, it was good, but far too short. It was more about the song than the dream, i'd swapped the focus the other way around and add a lot more length as it could then become epic in my opinion.

There was not really anything bad about it, but at the same time there was nothing that makes it stand out if you know what I mean. I'd try and make it more memorable in my opinion!

But 'tis just my opinion, it's up to you

PM me for anything and keep it up!

~Retro Disco666

Good work...
A good rhythm...
Yes you should try adding some more lines to it... It will be much more better....
Non the less great job...
keep it up....

nICE POEM. HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS..?
ITS SO CREATIVE OF YOU TO PUT ALL YOUR THOUGHTS AND
EMOTIONS, ESPECIALLY IF IT INVOLVES NATURE

Love it! Don't add more lines! It's simple and sweet and it keeps us ADD people interested! I love the imagery and its song-like rhythm. So calming...