Religious Duty

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As I strolled into the empty classroom I glanced at the clock. Class was due to start in less than a minute but I was the first one to arrive. That’s how things were at my school: most of the kids didn't show up on time and most of the teachers couldn’t have cared less. And here I was, as usual, sitting alone in an empty room. Was I one of the popular kids? What do you think?

Then, as the last seconds ticked down, the whole herd of students piled into the room, scraping chairs and banging desks. I closed my eyes and waited for the storm to pass. When I opened them, Maya was right in front of me, sliding into her seat, her long, black hair gleaming in the morning light. Her skin was as flawless as the eye could see; her body was perfect. I wondered what she was thinking. I'd liked her for a while, but socially I was a disaster. I couldn't even talk to a girl without stuttering.

Mr. Nash was going on about the Silk Road, how it was a great trade route to India. In my mind I was a wealthy, handsome trader and Maya was my Indian princess.

After class, I made sure I was the first to leave, but then stopped outside the doorway. Something stopped me, as if gravity pulled me to stay put. I had a thought in my mind, but I couldn’t see it happening. But I waited, as the other students left the classroom. Eventually, Maya came out, alone, carrying her books. She seemed to also be carrying her English novels. They were of different sizes, and it appeared she was having difficulty managing them all. One of her textbooks fell to the ground. I hesitated, but then walked forth suddenly and spoke. “Hey, Maya, you need help taking those back to your locker?” I asked, sounding kind of rushed.

She looked up from her book, and replied: “That’d be wonderful, thank you, Mark.” I picked up the book, and took a few more out of her beautiful hands. I followed her to her locker, where she placed all of them away into one of the tidiest lockers I’d ever seen, much cleaner than my own. “Thanks for the help,” she said to me. She started to walk to her next class. I hesitated for a brief moment, but then thought ‘This is the only moment I’ll have to do this, do it.’

“Hey, Maya,” I said. She turned around, and looked at me. This was it, no turning back. “I was just wondering, um… would you like to, maybe, go on a date with me to see a movie?” My heart stopped. I couldn’t believe what I just did. I looked into her sweet, brown eyes, waiting for a response. After about three seconds, I got one.

“Sure, I’d love to,” Maya said. Her voice was ever so sweet. “Would you like to see that new Harry Potter movie, pick me up at eight?” I blinked. I couldn’t believe it. She gave me a wonderful smile, showing her almost perfect white teeth.

“Great. Wonderful, I’ll see you then,” I said. She smiled at me again, and turned away. I wanted to shout for joy. It was my first date, after many years of awkwardness in high school, with one of the prettiest girls in my grade. And then I became afraid, what if I would mess up? How should I talk to her? What should I do?

Later that night, when I arrived home, my mother told me dinner was ready. We always at dinner early, soon after my younger brother and I got home from school. We were a very religious family; I grew up hearing stories from the bible. Although, recently, I had doubt about God’s existence. I was afraid to tell my parents I didn’t believe, however. So I prayed with my family daily, pretending to believe like they do.

At the dinner table, my mother asked me how my day was at school. I hesitated, not wanting to share my romantic life, but decided to tell her about Maya, and how I asked her out. My parents looked at each other, as if I had just told them I was doing drugs. After about half a minute of silence, my mother spoke to my little brother. “Liam, why don’t you go upstairs and begin your homework?” Liam grunted, then got up from his seat and left the room. My mom went over to my father’s chair, whispered something inter his ear, and he whispered back. I wondered what I had done wrong. My mom then left the room, as if nothing had happened.

“Son, we need to talk,” my father said to me. I looked at him, and nodded. “This girl you asked out, when you described her, you said she was Indian right?” I nodded. “Do you know what religion she belongs to?” My dad asked.

“Well, I noticed she was absent from school on a Hindu holiday, so I’d assume something along those lines. Why do you ask?”

My dad paused for a moment, sighed, and then spoke again. “Your mother and I feel it would be best if you,” he paused, as if rechecking his words. “Stuck to dating girls who were Christians.”

I couldn’t believe this. Was I actually being restricted on who I could date because of my parent’s religion? Of which I did not believe in? I cleared my throat. “I already made plans tonight,” I managed to say.

“That’s fine, you can go tonight, but just tell her it won’t work out, and that you wish to break up,” My father explained. I didn’t want to believe this. It couldn’t be happening! I just started dating the girl I had liked for three years, and now my parents do not approve of her! I protested, saying I really liked her, but my stubborn father refused. “No, it’s final. You will break up with her tonight, and you will never speak with her again. Do you understand me?” I paused. I didn’t know what to do, but what I did know was that I was fighting an impossible battle. I told my father I would break up with Maya at the end of our date tonight.

At half past seven, I put a nice shirt and pants on. I got her address out of our school directory, and directions from Map Quest. I got in my black, cheep car and headed to Maya’s house. On the way there I couldn’t help but stress out over what I should say, how I should act, or possibly, if I should kiss her. When I arrived at her house, I got out of my car and went to her front porch. I took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell. Almost immediately, the door opened, and behind it was a beautiful girl in a red dress, Maya. “Hey,” she said, sweetly.

“Hey,” I said. I tried to keep my voice enthusiastic while I drove us to the theater; I wanted to make a good impression, although I just seemed to stutter more. Regardless, she seemed to like me, and as we drove there, I liked her more and more. Her sweet face was amazing; her body in the dress was beautiful. We pulled into the parking lot.

I bought our tickets, a medium popcorn, and two bottled waters. We walked into the theater just as the movie had begun. I noticed the room was almost empty. I assumed everyone had seen the movie already; it had been out for a few months. Maya and I took our seats in the middle of the theater. She looked up at the screen, and I looked at her. I put my arm around her, and she turned her head to me. I got the impression that this was moment I should kiss her, so I leaned over, tilted my head, and kissed her briefly on the lips. She smiled, and returned her focus to the movie, as did I.

After about two hours, when the movie had ended, the credits rolled. Both Maya and I were disappointed that the movie had to end so soon, but fact was fact; at least the final installment was due in half a year. I was just exited to finally have my first kiss. On our ride back home, noticed I was much more confident in myself than I had been before. I didn’t stutter as much, and I overall talked smoother. After I drove her home, I walked her up to her front porch. She turned around, and kissed me goodnight. Her lips were wonderful, overall she was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen, and I was dating her.

When her door closed, I halted my scream of enthusiasm. I drove home with the thought of victory in my mind until I remembered what my father had told me. Well, I wasn’t going to break up with her. I never would. The best option no was to just lie to my parents, and hope they don’t find out.

When I got home at 11 o’clock, my father asked me if I broke up with Maya, and I said I did. I walked up to my room, and lied down on my bed. I didn’t like lying to my parents, but they forced me to.

The next morning, at school, I decided to tell Maya what my parents wanted me to do. I saw her outside our school, sitting in grass, reading a book. I walked over to her, set my bag down, and laid next to her. The dry grass felt lovely. “Hey, what are you up to?” I asked.

“Just doing our reading for English class,” she said. I stared into her amazing eyes. “Is something wrong?” she asked.

I took a deep breath, and spoke. “Maya, my parents simply don’t approve of me dating you. They’re stuck in some mental brouhaha about how I should only date other Christians, which is ironic actually as I’m having trouble deciding if I even believe in God to begin with, but yet I’m afraid of their reaction. Regardless, I don’t want my parents being the division between us. I really like you Maya, I want to go out with you, but we can’t let my parents know. Ok?” I feared she would take it the wrong way; think I didn’t really care about her enough, or something.

She looked at me, and kissed me for three seconds on the lips. “I really like you too, thank you for not ending this,” she said to me. I checked my watch; our lunch period was almost finished. “So, um, would you like to come to my house tonight at six to eat? Your parents may not be fine with us dating, but mine are. They told me, because there aren’t many people of our religion around here, that it would be pointless to attempt to date only other Indians. We’re not overly religious, regardless. Anyways, would you like to come to my house tonight?”

“That’d be wonderful, Maya. See you then.” I got up from the grass and continued to my remaining classes that day. That night, I told my mom that I was eating at a friend’s house, and she said it would be fine. At 5:45, I gathered the directions to get to Maya’s house, I got in the car, and I drove there. When I rang the doorbell, I once again was greeted by Maya beautifully dressed. She welcomed me in, and led me to her dining room table, where her parents were eating already. Their house was beautifully decorated, showing a wonderful blend of American and Indian culture. Maya’s parents were dressed up, and looked like they were in their 50’s. I knew Maya had two sisters, although they didn’t seem to be eating here. I wondered where they were, but I decided it would be best to not mention it.

I sat down next to Maya, and her parents offered me a plate of some Indian dish. I never had liked Indian food, but I sucked it up and accepted the plate politely. The food tasted very spicy, to the extent that I was not used to. I didn’t want to eat it, but I did want to make good impression on Maya’s parents, so I ate. Her parents asked me about my previous dating experiences (which I had none of), my grades (which were miraculously well), and where I plan to go to college (MIT, as I was a computer whiz).

After dinner, Maya talked with her parents for a brief moment, and then led me to their yard, where we both sat on a bench. She told me how her parents loved me, and approved of her dating me. I was happy that at least her parents agreed to let us date. I leaned to her, and kissed her on her lips. She kissed me back, and for about 10 seconds her warm lips accented the cold air wonderfully. I pulled away, and stared into her beautiful brown eyes. I felt like I loved her, but I was too afraid to say it.

I checked my watch; it was 7:42. “I should probably leave now, my parents will be wondering where I am.” Maya kissed me again, briefly, and I got up. As I got into my car, it began to rain. When I got back to my house, and I entered the door, I was greeted by my mother and father giving me the disappointed look. “What is it now?” I asked.
“Did you break up with Maya last night, Mark?” My heart stopped. “Tell the truth.” I couldn’t tell the truth, I already lied to Dad.

“Yes, I did. What would make you think different?” I was worried they were onto me; I got defensive, possibly a little too defensive. My mother sighed, and my father stepped forward to speak. His voice was calm, but irritated.

“Maya’s parents called complementing what a wonderful child you were. They apparently had you over for dinner tonight. You lied to us, you didn’t go to a friend’s house, and you didn’t break up with Maya like I told you to.”

“That’s because I love Maya!” I yelled. I was irritated at their hard headedness that I may potentially believe differently than they do. “I’m not going to break up with Maya because I love her, I do. Why can’t you two see this?”

“You would not be following what god wants you to do!” My mother yelled.

“Oh really?” I said. “First of all, this is High School dating, I doubt it will last forever. Second, where does God say in the Holy Bible that a man cannot marry a woman of a different religion? Does it?”

“It is implied!” My father shouted.

“So you’re assuming that God said something that he blatantly didn’t? Have you ever considered that I may potentially believe just a little differently than you, has that ever occurred to you? You know, my friends are Christian, and they don’t have this problem with their parents.” I didn’t want to talk about it anymore; I grabbed my coat and ran up the stairs to my room, and locked my door. I kicked my dresser, and it shook. I got on my bed, and turned off my light.

I woke up to a Saturday morning. I got up, took a shower, and changed clothes. Saturday mornings were always calm, and peaceful. I got out my cell phone, and checked the time. 7:43. Maya could have still been asleep, so I refrained from calling her. I went downstairs, yawned, and put two pieces of toast in the toaster. I got a small bottle of orange juice out, and set it on the counter. When I looked up, I saw my father entering the room. I didn’t say a word.

“Mark, listen to me,” my Dad said. “If you keep dating Maya god will be angry, it isn’t what you are supposed to be doing. You can’t date her.” I ignored him, and my toast popped up. I started spreading peanut butter on it. “You can’t just continue like nothing is happening, sooner or later god will take action.” I slammed my toast on my plate.

“Dad, will you listen to me for a moment here? I love Maya. I don’t want to let her go just because of god. Even if I believe god wouldn’t want me dating her, I still wouldn’t care. I don’t believe god exists, I had been doubting him for several years now. OK?”

My father fell silent. He left the room, speechless. My cell buzzed, and I checked it. I got a text message, from Maya. “Meet me at the city park in 30 minutes, ok?” it read. I texted back saying that I’d be there, and then I quickly ate my toast, and headed there. When I pulled into the parking lot, I got out of my car, and saw Maya by the lake. I went next to her, and sat down on the moist grass.

“Hey, beautiful,” I said.

“Hey, sorry about last night, my parents apparently talked to yours about you coming over,” she said. “How’d it go?”

“Not well,” I said. “I ended up having to tell my father I didn’t believe god existed this morning; he hasn’t said a word to me yet. They’ll accept this eventually, they can’t reject me forever, it could take a long time, however, months maybe.” I looked into her beautiful eyes, and she leaned over. I turned my head, and kissed her. We kissed for about half a minute before we pulled away, and laid on the grass next to each other.

This was the beginning of a beautiful relationship with Maya.

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Version 2

Originally titled "Denied"
Last edited by MatthewDawn on Mon Jan 03, 2011 7:41 pm, edited 4 times in total.




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Alright, so, I have a couple of points here.

I entered Mr. Nash’s room, and glanced at the clock. I sat in my assigned seat labeled “Mark”. I was the first one to arrive, but yet class was going to begin in less than a minute. That’s how things were at my school; most people didn’t show up on time to classes. Most teachers couldn’t care less, but some took action. It wasn’t like they had the power to do anything meaningful, however. Regardless, I was usually the first one to go to classes. I was one of the few in my grade who was socially awkward; I had few friends, despite our school’s small community (thus everyone knowing most everyone ells).


That was your beginning. The beginning is supposed to pull in the reader, making them want to read more. This was walking into a room. Try to imagine what your MC is thinking/feeling, instead of just action


After about two hours, when Voldemort had stolen a wand from Dumbledore’s grave, the credits rolled.


Woah, hold up. Spoiler alert! What if I hadn't seen the movie! Then the ending would have been ruined, and I wouldn't have gone to see it.
Just take that out, please. Most people don't enjoy having their movies ruined while reading

~WickedWonder
'We will never believe again, kick drum beating in my chest again, oh, we will never believe in anything again, preach electric to a microphone stand.'

*Formerly wickedwonder*




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How does someone come up with things like this? I really liked this.
At first when i read the beginning i was thinking, "Oh great, another story about rejection." but it turned out to be something A LOT better. It was interesting and i kept wanting to know what would happen.

My only question is: did the parents eventually accept Maya and they're son even though he believed in a different religion?




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"I was one of the few in my grade who was socially awkward; I had few friends, despite our school’s small community (thus everyone knowing most everyone ells)."

*Else.

"What she was doing. I had liked her for a while, but my inability to socialize effectively has left me in a state where I cannot even approach a girl I like without stuttering like a chipmunk."

He seems to analyze himself quite a lot. And do chipmunks stutter?

"History had always been my least favorite subject, and ever sense I became a junior this year, it had been even worse."

*Since.

"...and rank the doorbell."

*Rang.

"I was just exited to finally have my first kiss."

*Excited.

I think that's about all. I just wanted to help you with editing. While reading, I realized I didn't like the message much, frankly because it once again implies Christians are irrational and racist and leaving God is a good thing. I don't know if you intended that, but I'll have you know that was the message I got from it. After all, how could the parents know that an Indian girl wasn't Christian--she could be, couldn't she? But you made it with the idea that anyone not European can't be Christian, according to Christians (or in your own mind). And, quite frankly, while marrying someone non-Christian is a bad idea, I've never heard of parents being so irrational about a teenage Romance. Of course, my own parents are irrational about my not dating, but that's besides the point--well, actually, that adds to the point. My parents would probably be happy if I just mentioned thinking about going out with someone.
Basically, I was pretty confused about the messages--because now wouldn't the Indian girl, if she believed in the caste system of India's main religion, not be able to date him? Or something of that sort? I see a severe caste system being more controlling than Christian morals, which depending on sect and family are spotty at best. And I've never heard of an Indian atheist, but, of course, I assume there are plenty.
I could keep going, but it just seems too unplanned to me, or something of the sort--and it just repeats the age-old "Christians are red-necks who want to inbreed and they hate anyone different from themselves". Or it seems that way.
You also never mentioned why he decided to drift from God, which bugs me. Everything requires a reason.

So, yeah. Sorry if I'm being a little harsh, but it seems like to me everyone is constantly giving me more rules. I mean, as a Christian, I hate seeing us portrayed as being such insensitive, malicious, narrow-minded (insert plural curse word of choice here). And I've seen it way too often.
No matter your own religion, you need to be okay with other religions (as long as they do not threaten bodily harm and don't do anything outside of the law). Christianity is another religion and compared to some more barbaric religions, or godless ideals (animism), is better. It provides basic rules that anyone could follow. Some of it may be incorrect, and a lot of the verses are replaced or edited in the New Testament (or they mean something totally different than the new translations say they do). But, basically, I think everyone should stop downing so much on the religion of "thou shalt not murder", "thou shalt not steal", "thou shalt not lie", and "thou shalt not covet". Everything would be much simpler if that stopped, after all.

Yeah, I'll stop now...

Just think it over, please?
My SPD senses are tingling.




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Thank you for the comments everyone! I updated the original post with a version 2. And Cspr, I was not trying to say all Christians are like this. I fixed this in the new version.




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This is really really good. It was heartfelt, passionate and really moving. One thing, when posting stories that include religion make sure you don't imply anything that could cause offense. I'm not saying you did but somtimes people could feel a little tense. Otherwise it was beautifula dn really moving. Good job, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.
Kkaa x
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well, like they said above, this dealing with religion could be offensisve to some. but apart from that, the story was heartfelt and overall a good read. and guess what! i'm an indian too so i can relate to what you've written. the best thing about it was that it was believable which is so neccesary for the people reading to actually connect with the story. so i want to congratulate you on that.

well i'm looking forward to reading your edited version and well, i really liked it. please continue this story.

-buddy
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