Pressures of the Young and Privileged

This is my second story on YWS. My first one was a longer story which took a while to adapt from a number of real life experiences. I am going to be posting more stories from now on. You will learn more and more about my main character who i tend to write about a lot. Her name is Woodli. This is your first glimpse into Woodli's life, feelings, and experiences.
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I looked across the crowded ball room at my boyfriend, Evan. I blew him a kiss. He decided to do the cheesy thing, and catch it and put it in his pocket. God, I loved him. I couldn't picture ever being with anyone else. He was the perfect boyfriend. He had classic good looks, he was athletic, intelligent, and he love me too. We were New Haven, Connecticut's "it couple" among the young and privileged. We would walk through the mall, and hear people say "Look! Its Evan and Woodli!". Sometimes, the pressure of being the "it couple" got to me. I felt like Evan and I had to be perfect all the time.

I had nothing to worry about. I don't know why I was so concerned about Evan and I doing everything right. We do everything right already. I walked out of the ballroom, and into the back hallway to get my phone. As I went around the corner I saw Evan and Isabelle Harrison walking toward the kitchen door. I had no idea what he was doing. I had never seen him even speak to Isabelle, let alone be so flirtatious with her. I quietly walked behind him to see what he could possibly be talking to her about. He said he had a surprise for me tonight. Maybe, this surprise required help from Isabelle. She had known me for a really long time, so she was probably just helping him with the surprise.

I tiptoed behind them toward the kitchen. I let them go in and waited until the door close, so it wouldn't be so obvious i was following them. I quietly pushed open the door, slowly, and silently. Suddenly I saw something I never would've expected. There they were. Evan and Isabelle against the wall making out. I couldn't believe this. I stood there in silence and in shock. I was speechless until I finally said just one thing. "Evan?" my voice cracked with heartache and immense amounts of pain.
He looked at me in shock. "Woodli!"

I started to cry. I turned around and I allowed the tears to flow down my cheeks. I stormed out. As I hurriedly left I heard Evan shouting and running behind me. "Woodli wait! I'm sorry."

"Evan, sorry isn't good enough!" I shouted and ran out the double doors to my limo.

This was intense. I only have a few things I need to point out. My text will be in bold. If correcting grammar will be red, and if I see any sentences that are weird, to me, I italicize then tell you why in bold.

I looked across the crowded ball room at my boyfriend, Evan. I blew him a kiss. He decided to do the cheesy thing;catch it,and put it in his pocket. It was a sort of run on sentence.God, I loved him. I couldn'tAvoid contractions in formal writing. picture ever being with anyone else. He was the perfect boyfriend. He had classic good looks, he was athletic, intelligent, and he love me too. We were New Haven, Connecticut's "it couple" among the young and privileged. We would walk through the mall, and hear people say "Look! Its Evan and Woodli!". Sometimes, the pressure of being the "it couple" got to me. I felt like Evan and I had to be perfect all the time.I had no problem with this, but I believe it should be a new paragraph. It can combine with the other paragraph I made below, if you'd like.

I had nothing to worry about. I don't know why I was so concerned about Evan and I doing everything right. We do everything right already.
New paragraph.
I walked out of the ballroom, and into the back hallway to get my phone. As I went around the corner I saw Evan and Isabelle Harrison walking toward the kitchen door.It makes sense to say kitchen door, however you can just say kitchen. I had no idea what he was doing. I had never seen him even speak to Isabelle, let alone be so flirtatious with her. You never mentioned how he was being a flirt just that they were walkingI quietly walked behind him them to see what he could possibly be talking to her about. He said he had a surprise for me tonight.Said to her ? or said earlier. He had said that he had... would fix this. Maybe mention he said it earlier to avoid confusion. Maybe, this surprise required help from Isabelle. She had known me for a really long time, so she was probably just helping him with the surprise.

I tiptoed behind them toward the kitchen. I let them go in, and waited until the door close, so it wouldn't be so obvious i was following them. I quietly pushed open the door, slowly, and silently. This is an awkward sentence.
New paragraph.
Suddenly, I saw something I never would've expected. There they were. Evan and Isabelle, against the wall making out. I couldn't believe this. I stood there in silence, and in shock.Its weird. You could say, "Shocked, I stood there in silence. I was speechless, until I finally said just one thing. "Evan?" my voice cracked with heartache and immense amounts of pain.
He looked at me in shock. "Woodli!"

I started to cry. I turned around and I allowed the tears to flow down my cheeks. I stormed out.These sentences are so blunt. I did this. I did that. As I hurriedly left, I heard Evan shouting and running shouting and running would sound better if it was not two ing verbs after each other.behind me. "Woodli wait! I'm sorry."

"Evan, sorry isn'tBy the way contraction are fine used in speech. good enough!" I shouted and ran out the double doors to my limo.

It was good. You need a little work on paragraph, and you need to add some more details.

Hello there and welcome to YWS!

There were quite a number of spelling and grammatical errors in your story, but I can see that the previous reviewer has outlined some of them. I really like your writing style; it's very precise and yet detailed. I was a little disappointed though with how hasty everything was. As the MC was following her boyfriend and Isabelle, I personally would have liked to see more emotion other than denial. I was also disappointed with the ending:

"Evan, sorry isn't good enough!" I shouted and ran out the double doors to my limo.

I wish she hadn't said that. The story in itself is a cliché, so I would have liked for her to say or do something unexpected.

This was an enjoyable read overall.
Keep writing and good luck!

The beginning sounds a bit conceited. People don't usually call themselves an "it couple," and she says they "already do everything perfect." These things would be logical for someone ELSE to say about Woodli, but when Woodli describes herself like that, it makes her sound stuck-up and immediately makes the reader dislike her (for me, anyway).
I have an idea for you, it's only a slight change and I think you could pull it off, and I think it would really improve the story.
Try making this from the POV (point of view) of a third character, a classmate or a friend of Woodli's. That would explain why the language is so favorable toward Woodli and her boyfriend, maybe it's someone who idolizes her. Then, when she discovers Woodli's boyfriend cheating, she would be really shocked and upset, as well as face the dilemma of telling Woodli about it or not. This heightens the suspense.
Also, I found it a little predictable. Once the boyfriend is seen going off with another girl, it seems pretty obvious. Try to set it up in a slightly different way, so it is more of a surprise. Maybe she sees him go off ALONE, but then discovers he has met up with another girl after following him.
Just some suggestions. Hope they help!
Keep working on it.

P.S. You might want to think about changing the location of the story as well. I seem to remember New Haven is the setting of Gilmore Girls, isn't it? I could be wrong.

I like the story, but no offense, but it sounds like every other break-up story. The girl follows the guy into a room, finds out he's cheating, and runs out crying. I mean, the description was great, and the emotion was amazing, but it just seems like just another break-up story. Just trying to be helpful!