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Ok, so people gave me words and I made a poem out of it. So it doesn't make very much since but it's a poem.

The soup
that filled
my ice cold rain,
feeds the monkey
inside of me.

It contains the karma
of my black cat,
stopping war
with a rainbow of swords.

The vampire
feeds on the redness
of my apple.

The yellow pencil
of my soul,
colors the snow white diamonds
of the world.

Such a simple world
preys on chickens,
but a greater force
eats penguins. (SKins)

Canned doughnuts
feed the donkeys
of our power rangers,
ending the cycle
of humanity.
My reality comes to a close as I once again realize that you don't love me, and even if I love you with my everything you will never care.





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Hmm... very interesting. From what you said about this poem, there is no real reason to review it in all honesty. I mean, by just reading this you can tell that there is no basis point or idea for the reader to go off of or connect with. It's just... there. Now, from the words it seems you were given, this is done in rather nice way. This seems to be one of those poems that is written for the purpose of nothing, for kicks and giggles, but someone, somewhere is going to pull some inner meaning out of it. I, honestly, cannot, but just because of my inability to obtain any centralized point doesn't mean that this is a bad poem. On the contrary, this is a pretty cool poem. Heck, if I was given those words, I would not have been able to pull two lines out of my hind end. If anyone gives you any sort of grieve for this (and I doubt anyone will), challenge them the same way your friends did. Then you'll see who is the true ponderous poet and who is just the critical critic.
I'm striving to be the Architect of the Apocalypse, Master of the Massacre, Ruler of the Rapture, and the Führer of the Fatal.

"It is the tale, not he who tells it." --Stephen King

Take THAT, society!




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Alright I love that this poem makes no sense!! :D haha



Flower~Child wrote:Ok, so people gave me words and I made a poem out of it. So it doesn't make very much since but it's a poem.

The soup
that filled
my ice cold rain,
feeds the monkey
inside of me.

It contains the karma
of my black cat,
stopping war
with a rainbow of swords. <--- Love this line! :D

The vampire
feeds on the redness <----- I love how this makes sense up until the last line! :D
of my apple.

The yellow pencil
of my soul,
colors the snow white diamonds
of the world.

Such a simple world
preys on chickens,
but a greater force
eats penguins. (SKins) <--- haha i love this :D

Canned doughnuts
feed the donkeys
of our power rangers,
ending the cycle
of humanity.





Okay so this is a pointless review (if you can call it that) But i absolutely love this!!!! It's so RANDOM!!!! :D which is great! :D it was a hilarious, i kept a smile on my face throughout the poem :D

Thanks for entertaining me :D
“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”
E. L. Doctorow




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I hate that you put that note at the beginning because, although it doesn't make any sense, I actually liked reading it and pulled something really deep out of it. Vampires pull the red out of our APPLES! That's why there is an apple on the cover of Twilight! Haha, I really liked it and I don't care if it's for giggles, it's fun to read!
There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. -Anonymous.




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Random. Absolutely RANDOM! Lol! I like random stuff, I like this poem too. :D
Keep writing!
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- Walter Winchell

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Hi Flower~Child,

I agree with TheWalkinDude, that there isn't really a basis or proper foundation to this poem, but I really enjoyed its eccentricity anyway! It was really light and yes...humorous. Because it had no real basis, it's a bit hard to review, so I'm just going to talk about why I liked it. :)

I loved how enlightening it was! How it made me smile, effortlessly. I especially loved the second-last paragraph - very funny! And it wasn't that bad for a poem that combined other people's ideas!

Well done! Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf




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Flower~Child wrote:The vampire
feeds on the redness
of my apples.

This reminds me of myself in so many ways... (Pale, sometimes called a vampire, and LOVES APPLES.)
Flower~Child wrote:Canned doughnuts
feed the donkeys
of our power rangers,
ending the cycle
of humanity.

Canned doughnuts? May I have credit for inspiring you? xD
Ideas don't stay in heads very long because they don't like solitary confinement.




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Indeed you may Raz :D
My reality comes to a close as I once again realize that you don't love me, and even if I love you with my everything you will never care.





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Haha, I enjoyed this, mi amiga. One can't exactly review it as it is about both nothing and everything, neither of which are particularly easy to review, but one (such as myself) can indeed say that it is a charming little flight of fancy. May I ask how you came about the random words that you used? They were actually fit together quite prettily (if somewhat oddly). The only thing I would change about the poem is the title. It just doesn't seem to fit. The poem is not precisely what I'd call "humorous"; I would use a word more along the lines of "amusing." (Though I will admit, "Amusement" might be a slightly strange name for a poem.)
You must be swift as the coursing river,
With all the force of a great typhoon,
With all the strength of a raging fire,
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.




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Hey, nice poem.

From what I can tell (and that's not a lot!) this has no errors =D. I liked the simple presentation of ideas and everything. Very nice.

GREAT job, Christy.
And merry christmas.
[quote]If it's arguable, then it probably is." - Xeriana X

Link to my will review for food thread: topic71713.html




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Warrior Princess wrote:May I ask how you came about the random words that you used?

I'm fairly sure she got "canned doughnuts" from my custom! Otherwise I'm not as special as I thought! :O
Ideas don't stay in heads very long because they don't like solitary confinement.




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I Absolutely Love it!
Probably because I couldn't make sense of it :) Well the main idea wasn't understandable and to me it was just random and bizarre collection of thoughts but still it was funny especially the part about skins.

Well keep writing strange and humorous poems.

...july4ruby ...
If you have built castles in the air your work need not be lost;that is where they should be .Now just put the foundations under them.




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This totally makes no sense at all! xD But, it was interesting to read. :) I love the part where 'Skins' appeared XD. Okay, this comment also made no sense, hehe.
“(...) and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” - Gandalf, The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring




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As most of the other members have pointed out, this poem does make no sense, but it does fill my mind with a lot of interesting images, so I feel that that in itself must be worth something ;)
I don't know how to play chess, but to me, life is like a game of chess




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The vampire feeds
on the redness
of my apple.

Sounds like the cover of Twilight. Blast it.

Such a simple world
preys on chickens,
but a greater force
eats penguins. (Skins)

Hm, sounds like Skins ...

Anyways, this was great! And totally random ... But totally portrayed society as it is in a new, exciting natural light! ;P

You should write another one of these ... lol!
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.

Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."

-- Oscar Wilde



"I never expected that I should be a queen so soon."
— Alice's Adventures in Wonderland